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14: The Innocent
"Amah! Amah! We're here! We're here!" Constance's voice burst into Dara's reality again, announcing for the second time in three days that they had arrived at an anticipated destination. But this time it was different. Unlike their stop at Galera, where Dara knew that she would return to the ship after their sight-seeing, this time, she did not know if she would come back.
Garen had given her a choice – one as exciting as it was heart-wrenching. She could stay here with her safe little boring life and be assured that her child would be provided for, but never see anything more than the inside of the cargo hauler for the rest of her childhood, or she could go with Garen on this secret mission of his and be assured of nothing.
The choice was clear. She should stay onboard with Malak and the captain. Constance would be cared for and safe and the galaxy would go on turning without Dara's input.
She had told Garen she would go with him, but now that she thought about it again, she wasn't so sure that she should. But the pull of the unknown still tugged at her relentlessly. Garen had explained little about what he would have to do here on Gamilon. His mission was to find this 'Eliora' woman, but beyond that, Dara had no idea what to expect.
"Eliora..."Dara pronounced the name carefully in her mind, rolling all the syllables around and around carefully, trying to jog her memory, "I'm so sureI've heard that name before somewhere." she mentally kicked herself for not being able to remember something so significant.
"Amah!" Constance's voice broke in again.
"Yes, neshama sheli." Dara replied, "We're here."
"Can I find Mr. Krenshaw?" the girl asked.
"Of course." Dara gave her child leave to find her grown-up friend. "But be back before midday, please."
"Yes, Amah." the child replied, darting out of the room to go find the scientist.
"I can't go with him... I just can't put Connie in that kind of danger... But what am I to do once he's gone...?"Dara thought, "She's become so attached to him in these past several days... Perhaps," she dared not even think it for a moment, then gave in, "Perhaps I have as well..."she admitted. "He's been nothing but a gentleman to us both... And he's the first one who hasn't looked down on me because of my past... That hasto count for something."
"Well, my girl," Malak's sudden booming voice made Dara jump. "What've ya decided?" he clapped a friendly hand on her shoulder.
"Boss!" she exclaimed, "You startled me. I thought you were with Rishnan preparing to unload."
"Ah, I was, but I figured he could handle it himself for a bit." Malak replied, "It's not like he hasn't done this before. But ya didn't answer my question. What've ya decided?"
"About what?" Dara played dumb hoping to not have to answer the question she wasn't prepared to talk about yet.
"About that young friend a' yours – that Krenshaw fella. He's taken a likin' to you and your lil' princess there." Malak said with his usual tactless good will.
"I know, Malak." Dara said. "I just don't have an answer for you yet. Can you ask me later – perhaps after we've docked."
"Alright." her boss shrugged, "Whatever makes ya happy Dara-girl. Jus' don't put it off too long. If ya leave I have ta find a replacement for ya."
"I know." she said, "I'll give you an answer as soon as I can. I promise."
Malak nodded, "Good 'nuf for me. Now, in the meanwhile, I think Rishnan might be needin' your help right about now."
"But I thought you said he could manage." Dara protested.
"I said he could manage 'for a bit.' It's been a bit."
"Alright." Dara relented, "Remind me never to let you define anything anymore, will you." she said as she left her thinking-post and returned to her familiar haunts – the cargo bays.
When she was out of sight, Malak sighed, "Dara-girl, as sure as I know my own feet, you're in too deep ta be backin' out now..."
"Mr. Krenshaw!" Constance called out to the scientist once she had spotted him.
"Don't you ever do anything but yell out my name, Connie?" Garen laughed as the child ran up to him.
"Is there something else I should do?" she stared up at him innocently.
"Well, you areeleven. In two years you'll be a teenager. Don't you want to start acting that way?"
"But why? Teenagers are weird. I don't ever want to be one." she screwed her face up into a disgusted expression.
Garen laughed again. "Well, I suppose you don't have to make that particular transition just yet." he relented, "But don't you want to grow up sometime?"
"Nope." Constance stated confidently, sticking her chin in the air, "Grown-up's are worse than teenagers."
"Really now." Garen said, "So I'm worse than a teenager am I?"
"Not you." Constance quickly said, "and not Amah either, and maybe not Mr. Malak, or the Captain, but mostgrown-ups are."
"Well, Connie, on that I think I have to agree with you." the scientist sighed heavily.
"What's wrong Mr. Krenshaw?" the girl asked, picking up on something in the man's voice that she didn't quiet comprehend, but that she knew meant something was not right.
"Oh, something you may not understand for a while yet, Connie." he tried to draw the child's attention to something else, "Isn't Gamilon one of the most beautiful planet's you've ever seen?" he pointed out the viewport they were standing in front of.
"Uh huh." Constance nodded, "So what's wrong?" she didn't take the bait.
Garen sighed again and finally knelt down so that he was at eye-level with the girl. "When we get into port, I have to leave..." he looked searchingly into her eyes, trying to see if she understood the implications of what he was saying.
"Uh huh." she nodded, "I know."
"And you realize that that means that I'll probably never see you again..."
"Uh huh. I know that's what would happen if you left without us." Constance repeated, "But that wouldn't mean we couldn't still be friends." the little girl smiled. "'Friends don't have to worry about distance.' That's what Amah says."
A smile broke through Garen's gloom, "Your mother is a smart woman."
"Yep, I know." Constance said cheerily, "But I don't think you're gonna have to worry about not seeing us again."
Garen gave the girl a questioning look, "Why do you say that?"
"Oh, I know you asked Amah to come with you once we stopped here on Gamilon." Constance said.
Garen's attempt to hide his surprise failed, "How did you know that?"
"'Cuz I was listening when you asked her." the girl smiled mischievously.
"You are a sneaky little thing." Garen tapped the end of Constance's round nose affectionately. "But how do you know that your mother said 'yes'? Or that she'll even stick to that answer?"
"That's easy." Constance dismissed, rolling her eyes as though it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. "Amah likes you – a lot. And I know you like her too. Are you going to deny that?"
The uncharacteristically adult question took Garen off-guard, "No..." he replied, "I wouldn't dream of denying it."
"Good." Constance nodded, "Then she won't change her mind." the look of confidence on the girl's face blew Garen away. Constance still had something that he had lost a long time ago – simple faith.
"Well, we'll have to see, Connie." Garen said, still doubting that it could really be so simple as what the child had said.
"Oh, you're an adult – you wouldn't understand." Connie waved dismissively at him, "But, since we're still a half-hour out of port, you want to go look at the ship one more time? I know a few great places you haven't seen yet."
"Sure." Garen said, standing up to his full height once again and taking the hand that Connie had stuck out for him to grab on to.
The next twenty minutes were spent flying through the freighter looking at several different nooks and crannies that Constance had undoubtedly used as getaways for herself from time to time during the long space voyages she had been a part of for the past seven years.
Somehow, somewhere along the way they picked up Mina and Rindi too and the three children formed a veritable whirlwind of energy around Garen, the calm eye of their great child-storm.
Ten minutes before the ship was to dock, Garen stopped Constance, letting her two playmates run ahead.
"Connie," Garen's tone became serious, "I know you think your mother will still want both of you to come with me when I leave the ship, but I don't want you to be disappointed if she says, 'no.'"
"Don't worry, she won't say 'no.'" Connie assured him
"Constance, you don't know that."
"Yes I do." she insisted.
"But you can'tknow that." Garen insisted back, "You just can't."
"Grown-ups." Constance huffed before starting down the hall after her friends.
"Oh, that went well." Garen thought, taking off after his three little guides.
Finally Garen and the children stopped in a part of the ship that he had only been to a few times during the journey – to feed his pet mostly. The bold signs declaring the beginning of the section of the ship that contained the cargo bays started showing up.
"And why are we here?" Garen inquired of the children.
They only giggled and pulled him farther into the area.
"What are you little minions up to?" he asked as they got farther into the cargo space.
His answer was more giggles and then the sudden disappearance of all three children.
"This isn't amusing you three." he called out to them, "I have to disembark in ten minutes."
Garen walked all around the area, trying to find the children, if only to say a final good-bye to Constance before he found Dara and received her inevitable "no."
"Oh! Garen!"
The scientist whirled around to see who had caught him in this awkward endeavor.
"Dara?" he looked at her strangely, "Why are youhere?"
She laughed, "Why am I, a cargo worker here in the cargo bay? Hm, that isa hard question." she said teasingly. "I think the better question is why are you here? Shouldn't you be getting your things our of your room?"
Garen laughed nervously, "I seem to have been lured here by a few exceptionally devious children."
"Oh really." Dara raised an eyebrow as she looked around, seeing no such children.
"They've disappeared." the scientist offered.
"Right." Dara said suddenly feeling strange, looking from one side of the area to the other again, avoiding Garen's eyes.
"Well..." he began, "I suppose I must bid you farewell..." Garen offered quietly.
"You've changed your mind about wanting Connie and I to come with you then?" Dara asked, her face still turned away from Garen.
The lieutenant shot a strange look at Dara, who, though she did not see the expression, could feel it emanating from him.
"I... I thought you would say 'no.'" he said. "It is, after all, the safe thing to do... Even my promise of protection will wear thin once we've left this ship. I cannot protect you both from everything that may come our way –"
"Garen Krenshaw, will you shut up?!" Dara suddenly exclaimed. "We're coming with you!"
Garen was stunned. Dara finally looked at him and he could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks tear-stained, but her expression was one of triumph – as though she had wrestled through the question of really coming with him and had finally won.
"I'm not ready to say anything more than that I like you very much and you are a wonderful friend to me and my daughter, but you are a friend we cannot afford to lose... and I am very grateful for your friendship."
Garen nodded, "As I am for yours and your daughter's." he agreed.
"I just collected the last of my earnings from Malak. Once we're off the ship, we're gone for good..." Dara still looked a bit torn.
"It'll all work out." Garen offered.
"Easy for you to say," Dara smirked, "You're not leaving the only home you've had for the past seven years."
Garen gave her a wry smile, "True enough."
"We don't have much thankfully," Dara continued, "So there won't be a lot to leave behind. A blessing in disguise I suppose. Now where is that child of mine?"
Scarcely had Dara started to look around the room, than Constance called out to her, "Amah, I'm over here." And she ran over to her mother, Mina and Rindi appearing from the very same spot Constance had poked her head out from.
Dara looked at Garen with a look of, "So they really didlure you in here." then threw her arms around her little girl and said, "It's time to pack, my little butterfly, we're going to be leaving with Mr. Krenshaw."
"Really?!" Constance asked excitedly, "I knewyou wouldn't change your mind!" she shifted her attention to Garen and said, "I told you so."
To this the scientist nodded in an admission of defeat, "Yes, you did." he smiled at Constance. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
"Oh, Garen," Dara chuckled, "I guess you haven't learned yet that she's more often right than she is wrong."
An hour later, Constance had just finished bidding good-bye to her friends, and Dara was saying her final farewell to Malak, Rishnan, and the Captain.
"I don't know what we're going to do without you, Dara-girl." Malak patted the young woman's shoulder affectionately. "Don't have anybody else to wrangle the passengers' loose animals." he grinned.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll manage, Malak." she replied, trying not to cry – again.
"Oh, now don't do that," Malak chided her when he saw the moisture start to gather in her eyes. "You're about to start out on somethin' brand new, Dara-girl. That's a scary and excitin' thing all at the same time."
Dara nodded, "Yes... it sure is."
"You're goin' ta be fine – especially with that one" he tilted his head in Garen's direction, "lookin' out for ya. He's a good man." Malak looked a bit sheepish, "Truth is, I gave him a good talkin' to when I figured out he was startin' ta take a likin' to ya."
Dara gave her former boss a big daughterly hug, "Thanks, Malak."
"You're more than welcome." the big cargo chief said, "Now, get out there an' have an adventure – for those of us that can't do it anymore."
Dara gave a tearful laugh and stepped back, "Alright. I'm going. And I'll be sure to have a special adventure, justfor you."
"Thank ya, Dara-girl."
"Amah." Constance suddenly appeared beside her mother and tugged on her sleeve, "Are we gonna go?"
Malak mussed the child's hair, "Take care a' this lil princess." he said to Dara.
"I will." the mother said, a steely determination now in her eyes, "And I hope that, maybe one day we'll see you again."
"I hope so too." Malak said, giving both mother and daughter a final look, then turning around to follow Rishnan and the Captain back onto the ship. "Good-bye, Dara."
"Good-bye... Malak."
The boarding ramp slowly closed behind the cargo chief and Garen tugged on both of them to step much farther away from the ship so that it could take off safely from the dock. Dara and Constance followed his lead and soon the ship was rising farther and farther up into the blue sky. Finally, all that any of them could see was a sparkling speck of light zooming away from them.
Dara stood transfixed, still staring up into the sky. Was the ship really gone? The shadow of it was still imprinted on her vision. She closed her eyes and shook her head, sending the one final vestige of her old life spinning away into nothingness.
She turned to look at Garen, surprised to find him staring at her. "What?" she asked hesitantly.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Dara took a deep breath, holding back her tears and said, "I don't know about right now, but eventually I will be."
Garen nodded, "I understand." then he addressed both of them in an attempt to lighten the mood, "Does everyone have everything?"
"I looked through that place more times than I can count," Dara said, sounding tired just from the memory of it.
"I did too," said Constance, fishing through the single bag that carried all her possessions. "I got my clothes," she pulled out an old dress that looked like it had been mended about ten too many times as well as some other necessary wardrobe items "and my other shoes, " she pulled out her child-sized boots, battered, but usable, "and my game board," and tapped the device, making a clicking noise as her finger pinged against its shell, "and my hair brush, and my gloves, and my communicator,..." and the list went on for a short while more as Constance proceeded to list everything she had brought with her.
"Alright, now that we've double checked inventory, shall we be off?" Garen asked, motioning towards the walkway leading from the dock to the actual space port.
"I suppose so." Dara said, turning to go towards the gigantic, lit-up building bustling excitedly with activity.
"But Amah." Constance tugged on Dara's sleeve again.
"What is it, Connie?"
"I just realized... I forgot my toothbrush..."