ALTERNATE TALES OF THE STAR FORCE
STAR BLAZERS---FIXING A HOLE
Being the second part of THE RIKASHA INCIDENT--- BY: Frederick P. Kopetz
ACT SIX-THE END (Part "B")
"And...in the end...the love you take...is equal to the love you make..." -1969--John Lennon & Paul McCartney
I. PLOTTING EVIL ON THE SUKALNACH
Technomugar Goraizu Fortress Sukalnach
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-6:12 AM (
Darryl Mansford of
However, in his worst dreams, he had never anticipated that he would see his father killed in front of him, and that he would be captured by...space aliens, some of whom looked vaguely human (but with weird ghastly colors), and some of whom looked like walking suits of armor with glowing eyes.
They had done nothing for the stump of his leg except burned it shut with some ghastly instrument. Then, they had stripped him stark naked and placed him on some iron-grated bed, but they were giving him no medical treatment. Instead, they had tortured him with a whip, and then with some kind of electrical device, and then by more horrid means he didn't even know existed in this universe outside of Hell.
They're back to the electricity again, the bastards, he thought as he lay under some arched metallic thing that covered him from his toes to his collarbone with something like a coffin lid.
One of the alien officers came in again, grinning. "Mansford. Your answers are far from satisfactory. Gralnacz the Benevolent is losing patience with you as he has something important to do. Where are you from, again?"
"
"Is that a special school for intelligence officers?"
"No, it's a school for assholes!"
Gralnacz nodded, and the electricity flowed through Darryl again. The shock was so bad that he lost control of himself inside the enclosure...not for the first time.
"I, Lektat Prenas, servant of the merciful High Protector Gralnacz, and of our God, the Lord Ekogaru, think that's a terrible answer, boy! Would you like to join your father in the place you call Hell?"
"Go ahead and kill me; I'm not afraid to die! You asswipes look like something from Lost in Space!"
"No, we won't kill you," said Gralnacz. "We'll make you one of us, after you answer every one of our questions satisfactorily. Then, as an immortal, we can find new ways to torment you. Maybe even the Lord Ekogaru himself will have some fun with you. But, answer us this. Did you know there was an Earth ship there, in the cave? " he roared. "Did you see it land, you organic piece of pond scum?"
"No...I...didn't," gasped Darryl.
"He's lying, Lord," said Prenas.
"No...he's not. I'm in his mind," said Gralnacz as Darryl cried and whimpered with the pain of this dark thing in his head. "The fool really was there by chance. Do you think he'll make a soldier, or should we cast him naked into space?"
"He might be fun to torment. We can turn off as much of as possible when we rebuild him."
"All right, fool, Darryl," said Gralnacz pleasantly. "You'll be fed. We need your shriveled mind healthy for rebuilding. Do you like the Beatles, Darryl?"
"What does it matter, kind of...but I like the Doors better."
"I tell you this
because I'm going to Earth to kill the Beatles so the rest of you young fools
will rise up like lemmings and fight the establishment, man. I'll help cause
it, by the way, with a bit of friendly persuasion. If we let one of them live,
like Ringo, the stupid one, maybe you can ask him for his autograph before we
execute him. You might meet your President Johnson and Premier Kosygin from the
"Let me out of this thing...let me at you," gasped Mansford.
"Sure, when pigs fly, as you Earthers say!" hissed Gralnacz before he slapped Darryl across the face and went away laughing.
"Bastards!" cried Darryl. "I'll get you!"
All Darryl heard before he went unconscious again was the evil laughter of Gralnacz and his subordinate.
II. YOU KNOW MY NAME (Look up my Number)
Saturday June 24,
1967-7:26 AM (
"So, that's the situation," said George Harrison as he nervously strummed his guitar while John, the Doctor, and Mitzi Shavirov sat around him in a circle. "This is real, then?"
"As real as the nose on his face, if you'll pardon me," said the Doctor, pointing at Ringo. "Sorry."
"No need to bother, they're always saying things about me nose," said Ringo Starr from behind his drum kit. "Hey, please stop messin' about with me drums, luv," said Ringo as Nova Wildstar tapped at a cymbal.
"Sorry, Ringo," said Nova. "Or should that be Ritchie?" she said, referring to 'Richard Starkey', Ringo's real name, which she had just overheard from Lennon.
"That's okay; they call me either," said Ringo. "Hey, Paul, why y'lookin' so glum? We got some protection here, and they're not even from the Men in Suits of this time. And this is better than that daft movie we were in two years ago where the Indian fanatics were after us."
"I'm still not sure I believe in this," said Paul. "I mean you're all against me, but I think this is some kind of publicity stunt the BBC is pulling. "The Beatles are in danger and Doctor who and his companions from the future show up to save them." Paul sniffed a little and said, "When Pat Troughton walks in, I'll know I was right, and the rest of you will have beans and toast running down yer faces for believin' this."
Derek Wildstar came up. "Mitzi, I have Mr. Hartcliffe and Mr. Rosstowski by the main doors with the security guard."
"Good," she said with a nod. Derek and Nova casually got out their blasters, and they noticed that Melvin, standing at the far end of the studio, was getting a weapon of his own.
"Since we're all set, I'll be standing by in my TARDIS," said the Doctor. "When we traveled here, I picked up Melvin's. I'll be your ride out, and will rematerialise when Gralnacz is dealt with."
"Why aren't you staying?" asked Mitzi. The others had that question on their minds, too. Captain Wildstar was beginning to get the feeling that, somehow, one could trust this particular Time Lord in a tight spot.
"I've got my orders, but not from U.N.I.T, I'm afraid. The Time Lords; they're getting into my head and telling me "NO". I have an argument with them, I'm afraid, and it's an argument I mean to win. I'm afraid I must dematerialize the ship; at least for a time. Further, I have other reasons, too complex to elucidate now!" shouted the Doctor as he slammed the door of his TARDIS shut with some degree of anger.
"Yeah, sure," growled Melvin, who nodded glumly as the Doctor's TARDIS faded out with its characteristic whining sound. "Remember, ya got my TARDIS, ya stupid goody-goody!" he yelled as the police box disappeared.
"I don't think he can answer you now, Melvin," said Derek. "He's gone, for the moment..."
"You believe us now, Paul?" said Lennon.
"Sort of. How'd you first meet him?"
"
"I guess you're right, maybe I've been a swine about this," said McCartney. "Well, let's just wait for the Press then, and hope that assassin doesn't sneak..."
Paul's words were cut off by a noise near one of the emergency exit doors to the back.
"Huh?...I..."
The sound was that of a laser bolt, green, splitting the air. A moment later, the exit door flew open and four troopers in green camo-patterned battle armor broke in, followed by Gralnacz, who was back in his "hippie" garb of blue denim but carrying a rather large weapon.
"Troopers...we've taken care of the U.N.I.T. detachment out back in the trees behind the main gate!" snapped Gralnacz. "You get the Time Lord and the Terrans...on debilitating stun, of course. I want them alive for interrogation! I'll kill John, Paul, and George myself. I'll stun Ringo last."
"Wonder why?" huffed a surprised McCartney under fire behind an amp.
"Maybe he's a fan and he wants me autograph?" shrugged Ringo behind his drum kit.
"You would say that," groaned Paul.
Nova fell back behind a speaker stack, firing quick bursts at the troopers. She got one; Derek had just gotten another.
"Mind if I get back here?" asked Mitzi as she stumbled behind the stack.
"Careful, you'll knock it over."
Mitzi fired again, missing a trooper. "Rats," she said. "Nova, if you can ever choose, never get into a running battle in a miniskirt."
"Right now, we can't choose!" cried Nova as she just dodged the trooper's fire. It fell over a moment later; Rosstowski had gotten it from behind.
Near Ringo's drums, a brutal scene was taking place; the fourth trooper was down, and Melvin was stomping on his neck as hard as he could. A second later, something snapped, and the trooper went still.
"Four down, one to go," yelled Melvin as he turned his weapon upon Gralnacz. "Give it up, ya freak!" he barked as he noticed Derek and Nova backing him up, with their weapons on Gralnacz. "You've been wanted on Gallifrey for a long time, ya moron! You've done more damage to us and to the galaxies than you can conceive! You're a mass murderer and a traitor to your own people on Pellias! Drop it and run!"
"You think I will, you old fool?" mocked Gralnacz as Hartcliffe fired at him but he reflected the shots away. "I have powers that you know nothing of!" he yelled, turning a lightning bolt straight upon Wildstar.
Derek screamed as the lightning hit him, and he collapsed in a heap. "Derek!" cried Nova, who turned her weapon upon Gralnacz in a rage.
"Go ahead, fire it," mocked Gralnacz as he put out one hand and raised another above his head in a strange gesture. "Let's see what'll happen, eh? Do you like murdering people, too? C'mon...I'm ready."
Nova tightened her finger on the trigger, just as Melvin barked, "NO!"
A millisecond later, a crash filled Abbey Road Number Two as a figure emerged behind Gralnacz and brought a cymbal down on his head!
Gralnacz fell down like a stone as a smiling John Lennon emerged from behind him with a cymbal in his hands.
Melvin and Nova then ran over to Derek, who gasped and said, "I'm all right...don't leave that thing alone."
"Derek!" sobbed Nova as she hugged him like a doll while Melvin took Gralnacz's weapon and snapped it in half with his bare hands. "Thanks, Mr. McCartney," he said as Paul handed him the amp cord from his bass and tied Gralnacz's hands with it after slapping a knife out of his hand.
Grabbing Gralnacz by the neck while Mitzi and Paul Rosstowski held their guns on him, Melvin and Hartcliffe tied him up with other cords lying around the studio.
Trussed like a turkey, Gralnacz was forced to his feet by Melvin, who said, "Get your stinkin' butt back to your ship and warp the hell out of this sector NOW!" Seadragon punctuated his last word by viciously slamming Gralnacz's head against an acoustic baffle.
Gralnacz fell, and then slowly struggled up again, surrounded by a circle of enemies as Nova, a still-stunned Derek, and even John Lennon and George Harrison scowled at him. "All right," he growled. "I've wasted my energy on you, and these foolish, half-wild humans of the past and present. I will go, but not without a final word or two."
"Make it fast!" barked Derek. "I'm the Captain of the Argo and I've got things to do!"
"First, Beatles, we will not meet again, but your music shall live on for a time. But all of you will go through hell personally before it is remembered forever, and two of you will taste Death at an untimely age. It will not be my doing, and I do not predict, either. I merely foretell. Second, Seadragon. You, Time Lord, will have these events and any other meddling you attempt herein explode in your face. And we shall have our reckoning someday, you and I."
"Yes, but who shall lose?" countered Melvin.
"Idiot," hissed Gralnacz. "Finally, you, Derek Wildstar, shall suffer greatly at the hands of Ekogaru. You, too, Nova Wildstar...Bryan Hartcliffe. The Dark Throne shall never forget your impudence in striking his anointed servant! And, as for you, Paul Rosstowski, don't feel that you shall ever find love. It will elude you, even though you think you have found it. It, and she, will betray you, just as she betrayed me. You shall seek for Death, but shall never find it."
"With that, I leave you! Dance in your pretty little world a while longer! Soon, it shall be dust and ashes!" With those words, Gralnacz faded away, leaving nothing behind.
"We did it," sighed Derek. "We beat him!"
"No," said Melvin. "It's over, here on Earth, for now, but he was partially right."
"Partially?" asked Nova as she protectively helped Derek up and along.
"Some of what he foretold will still happen. And we can't stop all of it," said Melvin quietly as he watched John Lennon reaffixing a cymbal to Ringo's drums. "He still has his appointment with Destiny," he whispered to Nova.
"Melvin...you can't
let that happen! You can't!" whispered Nova as she pulled the Time Lord
aside. "For the sake of a better future," she whispered in his ear,
"set that time-ship of yours right for
"Wish I could," said Melvin sadly. "can't."
"Why not?" hissed Nova.
"Time Lords can't change everything, nor is it wise to," said Melvin as the Doctor's TARDIS reappeared.
Nova nodded sadly and ran off to check over her husband again.
After a few minutes, the recording studio was fairly cleaned up, and the Beatles stood near the door of the Doctor's rematerialized TARDIS shaking hands with their rescuers.
"Y'think we can write a song about this?" asked Paul McCartney flippantly. "I mean, with this broadcast comin' up, and with the Press comin' here in just a few minutes, we can beat the Government security types and let them know that aliens really exist."
"It may not be wise," said the Doctor.
"Why not?" leered John.
"There's reasons," said the Doctor cryptically. He turned to Melvin and whispered. "You've got this in hand?"
Melvin just nodded, stepping into the TARDIS with a dour look on his face.
"It was an honour meeting you," said Bryan Hartcliffe as he and Paul Rosstowski shook hands with John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
"Likewise," said McCartney. "Mind if we play you a song as you take off?"
"I'm...not sure we have time," said Derek Wildstar with a shake of his head.
"It'll be short," said Paul as he picked up his bass. "It's about that Queen Starsha chap you told us about when you told us where you come from. Actually, it's for her and Nova, whom you say looks like her, and for our Queen," said Paul with a wink that made Nova blush as George picked up his guitar and Ringo got behind his drums.
As Lennon got behind an electric organ, he said, "Macca's been workin' on this a while and he's lookin' for just the right place to put it on a record. Oh, Hartcliffe!"
"Yeah," said
"Practice, man. You'll improve with practice. One...two...three...and vier" counted out Lennon, ending up in a weird "German" accent.
A chord filled the studio just as everyone stepped into the doorway of the TARDIS. Then, Paul McCartney (with a bit more accompaniment than on the final version of the record) began to sing:
"Her majesty's a pretty nice girl
but she doesn't have a lot to say...
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl, but
She change from day to day
I wanna tell 'er that I love her a lot
But I gotta get a belly fulla wine.
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
And today I'll make her mine, oh, yeah
Today I'm gonna make her mine..."
Her Majesty: © 1969 by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
(Appears as the final track of
As the song's last chord faded, the Beatles waved at the TARDIS. Everyone waved back, and, a moment later, the door closed and the Police Box faded away.
Paul McCartney shook his head a moment later, as if he was clearing his eyes.
"What's wrong, Paul?" asked John.
"Clearing my head. Felt kinda weird for a minute. Same old EMI studio, just a little after eight in the morning. John, we're supposed to meet the bloody reporters soon, like an hour or two. Why are we standin' about with our instruments on?"
"It's your jitters, Paul," said John as he turned his organ off. "You must've wanted to rehearse yet again. That last bit of All You Need is Love, you know?"
"Yeah. Even with the orchestra, you didn't quite get it right. Ritchie, why are you looking at the exit door?"
"Yeah, Ringo," said Paul. "It hasn't grown eyes or anything." Unknown to Paul, it was the same door that the Technomugar had bashed in a few minutes ago, now repaired thanks to Melvin's alien powers.
"Nothin', Paul. Just a weird memory left in me head. I thought someone scratched it before; that's all. I must've been dozing. I think I was listening to Zak's Doctor Who drama records a bit much last night. Something in my head about a battle. Wish I could remember it."
"You listen to children's records?" mocked George.
"Don't knock it," said John. "There might be some truth to the stuff they talk about. The BBC doesn't get it quite right, but, what if, somewhere in space, some time-traveler is mucking about history, like the Doctor, and the Earth Federation and all that. And what if the Daleks might be real?"
"Get some sleep tonight after we're done with the Press, John," joked George. "I think you're dreaming too much again."
"Maybe you're right...maybe you're not," retorted Lennon.
III. ONE HOUR, TEN MINUTES TO ZERO HOUR
The Doctor's TARDIS
The Time-Space Vortex
Saturday June 24,
1967-9:20 AM (
"Can't we get there faster?" protested Captain Derek Wildstar as he lay on a bed in a clean, empty white room, its walls decorated with red roundels, in the immensity of the Doctor's TARDIS. The strange thing about the bed was that it was floating in mid-air. "Nova, I thought he said this thing was some sort of super time-ship!"
"The Doctor says you
need a few minutes worth of rest, and in here," replied Nova, who,
wonder of wonders, had found what seemed to be her vanished Star Force uniform,
boots, and regular issue astro-automatic hanging in a huge wardrobe room here
in the TARDIS that the Doctor had led her to. She had changed after a quick
shower. Derek's uniform and peacoat lay folded in a pile near the foot of his
bed. "He says this Zero Room is perfect medicine for what you went through
back there in
"How's he gonna land this thing on my ship?" protested Derek while Nova put her hands on her hips and began to huff. "Oh, yeah, dimensional transcandentiality. All that'll appear on the ship will be the Police Box."
"Right," said Nova as the door opened and the Doctor strode in carrying a cup of what seemed to be tea on a saucer. Mitzi came behind him, again wearing what appeared to be her black leather catsuit. She was carrying a basin of steaming water and a towel, washrag, and soap.
"Here we go, just what I ordered," said the Doctor.
"You're as bad as Doctor Sane," said Derek. "How do I know this'll work?"
"Easy: I'm a Doctor of much more than Doctor Sane. I'm a Doctor of law, medicine, astronomy, history, astrophysics, physics, botany, temporal engineering...all the disciplines one has to know," smiled the Doctor. "It's an old remedy from Rikasha, actually, spiced up a little with a few things I learned from Louis Pasteur and Galen. You'll enjoy it; tastes just like herbal tea."
Derek took a sip. "Not bad, and it's clearing my head."
Mitzi put down the bowl. "I think we'd better leave now, Doctor. You get the bed."
The Doctor nodded, winking and tipping his hat as he pulled away the bed, and then left with Mitzi, leaving Derek to float in mid-air as he left him alone with Nova. "Hey!" he cried. "Doctor, is this thing your private funhouse?"
"You should be more grateful, darling," said Nova in a dulcet voice as she began to undo his vest.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.
"Taking your clothes off. You don't take a bath with your clothes on unless you're weird."
"Nova...stop treating me like a infant!"
"Derek, your muscles are incredibly tight, and we still have over an hour left. Let's get you out of these clothes, clean and into your uniform, okay?"
"Well...I..."
"Besides, you might get a laugh out of my giving you a sponge bath in zero-G. At least I don't have to turn you around in the bed like I usually do, and since we're alone I can give it a special tender touch," she said, kissing him. "Now relax and enjoy this. It won't take that long."
With a resigned smile, Derek gave in to his wife's care. After all, she was one of the EDF's best nurses...
IV. FIFTY-SIX MINUTES TO ZERO HOUR
Briefing Room
Technomugar Goraizu Fortress Sukalnach
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-9:36 AM (
Gralnacz stood in the briefing room of his ship, struggling as his subordinates attempted to untie him. "FREE ME, YOU FOOLS!" he yelped while hopping around in his worn engineer boots.
"Lord, your peace button has fallen off," said Kommandant Trajan, his second-in-command.
"Never mind that! Just release me from my bonds, you poor excuses for officers! You should be thrown in the Shi'raglak pits for this idiotic behavior!"
"He's trying, Lord," said Karlas, the Lektat whom Gralnacz had been speaking to several hours ago when he had been sending his fleet after the Argo, back when he had a fleet, of course.
"Do you wish to join him, Karlas?" yelped Gralnacz. "I have 2,000 men on this ship, and you three idiots have to be my Command Staff?"
"Let's just burn him loose with blasters," suggested Prenas. "That way, I can get back to tormenting the Terran before we attack the Argo. I've learned a new torture method. It involves using bird plumage, called feathers, and tickling the bottom of the young Terran's sole existing bare foot with them! We'll drive him mad and drive him into submission at the same time! Then that'll allow me enough time to have our gun-crews ready for the Star Force."
"I like the idea of drilling holes in the Earther's skull, myself," suggested Karlas. "Let's get the wire cutters. These look like wires, so we should be able to cut them with these and free our Lord High Protector."
"Hurry! This is humiliating!" snapped Gralnacz.
They freed Gralnacz a moment later. Gralnacz slapped each member of his staff, and then sat down. "Now, Karlas, where's the Argo?"
Karlas waved his hand, and a hologram appeared over the round table. "This is their moon, or companion world, sir. If we zoom in to two hundred of their kilometers, normalizing measures to theirs so we can predict their actions, they're in planetary synchronous orbit, right at this point, on the so-called "dark side" of their planet's dead, runty twin world. We're above them, in 2000 of their kilometers, and we have fifty of their time-klicks, called "minutes", to intercept them, disable them, and take them in tow back to our time."
"Not a lot of time, but it's doable. Any Time Lord interference?" queried Gralnacz.
"None, Lord," said Trajan. "I think the Doctor decided to cut and run, sir. Typical Time Lord trick. Same with Melvin. They have this habit, you are aware, of using others to serve their purposes and forgetting them altogether. What a dishonorable bunch of meddlers, sir."
"Aye, rightly told," said Gralnacz. "Trajan, Karlas, ready an invasion party. Board their bridge and take control of the ship after we stop its engines. Your job, Prenas. Karlas, you chart their course and communications and sneak up on them. A quick warp should do it. Got that?"
"Yes, sir. There's a two-percent chance of systems failure. We have taken damage. We need a shipyard, sir, before attempting battle again. I think we should leave the Argo for another day."
"That's your opinion. Denied. Carry out my orders!"
"Yes, Lord," said Karlas.
"Any other objections?" asked Gralnacz. "Any questions?"
"Sir, that button on your left lapel? What does INSTANT KARMA'S GONNA GET YOU mean?"
"I need a proper uniform," muttered Gralnacz. "Part of my disguise, Karlas, you fool! Ohhh! Lord Ekogaru, here I stand, surrounded by fools and morons! Please deliver me, O Lord!"
V. FORTY-TWO MINUTES TO ZERO HOUR
The Doctor's TARDIS
The Time-Space Vortex
Saturday June 24,
1967-9:48 AM (
"Is it ready?" asked the Doctor
as Captain Derek Wildstar and Lieutenant Nova Wildstar came into TARDIS Control
Room #1, now both in uniform. They noticed Melvin working under the six-sided
grey and white control console in the center of the gleaming white control
room.
"Cable's almost set," growled Melvin. "Time-stream readings correct for download."
"Where are you going to download this data?" asked Paul Rosstowski, now back in his normal Star Force uniform, along with Bryan Hartcliffe.
"Into the Argo's main computer to retune it," said the Doctor. "The dump will take about ten of your minutes; it'll take three minutes for me and your engineers to connect the cables."
"That's the total amount of time we have left?" asked Wildstar as he looked at a screen on the TARDIS console.
"Right...forty minutes," said the Doctor. "I calculated that by analyzing the signature of the warp corridor with my instruments."
"How soon will we be there?" asked Nova.
"One minute. I'm
putting us right into your Mechanical Group control lab, near your
"I've got to leave first. My TARDIS awaits," said Melvin, gesturing towards a rusty, battered brown thing that looked like a metal clothes locker. It bore a battered bumper sticker on one side that read, "MEMBER-NATIONAL HOBO SOCIETY" in Terran English. "That's my TARDIS. Gotta get the heck outta here."
He and Mitzi hugged. Hartcliffe and Rosstowski shook hands with the old man and muttered thanks. Derek took his hand and said, "Thank you. Your errand was...a bit strange, but we were grateful for the chance to save Earth...even in our past."
"Don't mention it, Skipper. Look on your ship for all the rats!"
Derek ground his teeth as Melvin turned to Nova. "Goodbye, hon, if I can be so bold. Take good care of that S.O.B., Nova."
"I will," she said as she reluctantly let the old man hug her.
"This ain't the last time we'll meet, Nova. See ya again, kid."
Before Nova could say anything else, Melvin let go, went into his TARDIS, and made it fade out of the area with a sound somehow higher and faster than that of the Doctor's TARDIS.
"Goodbye, and good riddance," muttered the Doctor to himself with a smile as he quietly saluted Melvin's TARDIS while it faded away. "Thirty seconds to the Argo," said the Doctor. Wildstar and his fellow officers began to check themselves to make sure they had everything they needed. Unnoticed, Mitzi nodded quietly to the Star Force members and disappeared through a door into the depths of the TARDIS.
"Ten seconds, everyone," said the Doctor as he turned on the scanner and the crew suddenly noticed a weird background of swirling colors that happened to be centered around the familiar shape of the Argo. "Commence landing sequence. Captain, you'd better be the first one out. I don't want them to shoot me."
Derek nodded.
VI. THIRTY-NINE MINUTES TO ZERO HOUR
Space Battleship Argo
Mechanical Group Control Lab
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-9:51 AM (
"Venture," said Stephen Sandor while leaning over a computer console in the Argo's vast Mechanical Group Control Lab. "Here's the warp profile. I did all the fine-tuning I could manage, including calculating the gravitational rebound effect of that damned Fortress hanging up in orbit."
"Do you know where it is?"
"No, Venture. But I can guess where it's at. If it remains on the course that Parsons plotted, and doesn't pick up speed, we'll have a five-minute window to get away from it at 0525 Hours, New York Time."
"That'll be 1025 Hours, London Time," muttered Venture. "No way they can get back now. Not without a miracle."
"Mark," said Sandor as he put a hand on Venture's arm. "You've steeled yourself to that already...haven't you?"
Venture nodded.
"Maybe he'll pull something out of his hat," said Sandor. "God, you know Derek's amazing luck!"
"I...don't know," said Venture, the tone of his voice indicating he didn't want to talk much about it. "Sandor, what's the probability we'll make it now?"
"Ninety-one percent," said Sandor. "I was able to tweak it...a little," he said while switching to an image of the Goraizu Fortress. "That'll be the biggest problem of all, getting around that thing."
Venture nodded glumly. Closing his eyes, he flipped up a communications microphone and said, "Attention, all hands. Begin final internal preparations for space warp. Monitor all communications channels and radar for any approaching boats or vessels up until 0513. Secure...all external hatchways at 0515 Hours. That'll be all."
Well, if they aren't back by 0515, that's the end. Oh, God, we did all we could thought Venture.
Mark and Steve just nodded to each other as Sandor went back to his work.
Suddenly, a very strange noise resounded throughout the lab. All of the computer screens flashed bright blue as the loud wheezing noise grew louder and a strange shape began to appear a few meters away from the console that Sandor and Venture were working at.
Artwork-TARDIS on the Argo-Assembled by computer by
Frederick P. Kopetz :From Yamato and Doctor Who artwork.
Both officers had their sidearms
drawn and leveled on the object before it finished materializing.
When it solidified, Venture snapped, "Alien intruder! Come out of there with your hands UP! NOW!"
The door slowly opened, and with their fingers tightening on the triggers of their guns, Venture and Sandor warily watched as...
...Captain Wildstar...?
...strode out with his hands up, followed by Nova.
"What the hell is that?" gasped Venture. "Captain...Lieutenant...is that you?"
"No, Mark, I'm Puffy the Snail," said Derek in a very sarcastic tone of voice. "I know you don't believe me, but you can stop pointing that astro-automatic at us."
"Nova?" gasped Sandor.
"No, Steve, I'm IQ-9. I just lost a lot of weight and put on Nova's clothes," smiled Nova.
"What's that thing?" asked Sandor.
"My TARDIS," said the Doctor as he strode out behind Derek and Nova and the guns went back up. "Pooh! What a poor way to treat your Captain's guest!"
"Captain's guest?" repeated Venture.
"Yes, he's one of the aliens who helped us," said Derek while setting his Captain's hat down on a desk. "We accomplished our mission back down on Earth by saving the Beatles and restoring the course of history to its original form. With help from the Doctor and Melvin, the aliens who selected us for this mission and aided us, all traces of our presence in the past on Earth have been erased, and the time-stream has been restored. As Captain Avatar taught us in such emergency situations, our past will now evolve normally, as long as we disable that ship, of course," said Derek as he pointed at the ugly Fortress on Sandor's screen. "Oh, by the way, as of now, 0500 Hours, Megalopolis Standard Time and EDF Space Time, I am reassuming command. You sounded skeptical of our mission before, Venture," said Derek. "No objections, I trust?"
Venture and Sandor shook their heads.
As Hartcliffe and Rosstowski stepped out of the TARDIS, Venture yelled, "All hands! Captain on deck! Attention!" Just as quickly, he, Sandor, Nova, Hartcliffe and Rosstowski saluted.
"Thank you, Commander," said Derek. "Command reassumed at 0501. Now, we've got something to do. Doctor?"
"Doctor who?" asked Venture.
"This is getting just a little tiresome," grinned the Doctor. "I'm a Time Lord. If I told you my full name, you'd never be able to pronounce it! Should I ever see you again, just call me the Doctor. My ship, the TARDIS, is a time-space vessel. I got interested in this situation due to the disturbances your ultimate enemy, Lord Ekogaru, was causing in the flow of time and space. As I know you've taken some damage, I can restore your temporal instruments to 100% efficiency and accuracy. I'll do this by dumping the proper base time-space warp curve information from my ship, the TARDIS, into your computers to reset the critical timing malfunction and let your confused ship know exactly where and when it is so you can calculate your warp. Time is of the essence. I have to be out of here in twenty minutes or you don't have a chance."
"Can we trust him?" asked Venture.
Derek nodded. "Sandor, open up the maintenance hatch."
"You'll have to direct me a little, Doctor," said Sandor. "I'm not sure I fully understand your science."
"Well, I don't fully understand how your Iscandarian Wave Motion Engine works, so we're even," said the Doctor. "However, your temporal controls operate on the same general schematic and functions as those of a Type 36 TARDIS. Mine's a Type 40, and Melvin was able to read your computer protocols, so the TARDIS and the Argo will talk to each other just fine with a little coaxing. Let's get to it!"
VI. TWENTY-SIX MINUTES TO ZERO HOUR
Space Battleship Argo
Mechanical Group Control Lab
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-10:04 AM (
Artwork-Unexpected
Allies-Assembled by computer by Frederick P. Kopetz
From Yamato
and Doctor Who artwork.
The Doctor stood a few meters away from Sandor and Venture with the linkup cable in his hand as the two men worked feverishly to reset the Argo's warp systems to accept the revised data the Doctor was going to download from the TARDIS.
"That's it," said Venture. "that's the last mass figure for the alien fortress," he said as IQ-9, at another panel behind him, chirped, "All protocols for the main parallel DAC port are open and ready."
"Now for the data," said the Doctor portentously as he came up to the open panel with the port coupling. On Sandor's screen, a graphic reading READY FOR INPUT appeared. "We normally do this only in a shipyard," said Sandor. "We had to do it once in space on our first mission by downloading that data from the wreck of an enemy ship."
"The remains of one of those Gamilon carriers at Rainbow Galaxy?" asked Venture. Sandor nodded as the Doctor inserted the cable to a port that Sandor was pointing at. The Doctor pressed a small button on the connector, and Sandor flipped down a huge breaker switch normally covered with glass.
The screen went blank, and, immediately, a series of numbers, random letters, and figures began to pour down the Argo's lab screen at an extremely rapid pace.
"You've now got just a ten-minute wait, than you can warm reboot your warp computers, read in the data for the warp curve you have in memory cell location 16234, and off you go!" said the Doctor with a smile.
Wildstar was alone with Sandor, Venture and the Doctor in the lab, with Nova and Rosstowski having headed for the bridge on his orders, and Hartcliffe sitting at alert-five in a Cosmo Tiger cockpit. "What a transfer rate!"
"Luckily, this old girl knows how to work fast when things get a bit tight," smiled the Doctor, patting the side of the "police box". Wildstar still couldn't accept that thing was really an advanced space-time ship. He was beginning to wonder if that was the same way their enemies felt about the Argo.
Derek sipped at a cup of water as he watched the data flashing across the screen. "So how did it go down there on old Earth?" asked Venture.
"It was really strange. Old fossil-fuel cars, trains that still ran on metal tracks, propeller airplanes, 1-dimension TV sets that still used vacuum tubes, and some of them were still in black and white, and the way people talked, and the strange permutations of classical music. And the Beatles. They were like mad geniuses, but still geniuses at what they did. No wonder their music has lasted until this day...at least some of it."
"Earth Defense is never going to believe this report," said Venture.
"They'll have to. We have hard evidence. Sandor, you've got the old clothes that Hartcliffe brought off the TARDIS for analysis?"
Sandor nodded. "Hard to believe they made clothes out of those primitive fibers."
"Two minutes to go," said the Doctor.
Derek nodded, but had to restrain himself from jumping a moment later as the alert klaxons went off.
"Doesn't sound good," said the Doctor.
"It's not," replied Captain Wildstar as he ran to an internal communications screen. "Mechanical lab, Captain here. What's up?" he demanded.
"Captain," said Dash, whom Derek had assigned as Officer of the Deck on the first bridge. "Nova's got a radar contact. It's that enemy fortress. Big, black, and ugly."
"Crap," muttered Wildstar.
"And we've got a communication. He wants to talk to you, alone."
"Patch him down here
As Derek waited for the picture to come through, he heard Venture saying, "Doctor, that's going into the actual course cells!"
"Just a little adjustment. Trust me," smiled the Doctor. "Thirty seconds left."
Ignoring this, Wildstar waited as Gralnacz's image came up on his small screen. "Having a wonderful day, Captain?" said Gralnacz mockingly.
"It'd be better if you weren't here," said Wildstar.
"Things can only get worse. See this?" said Gralnacz as an image of the Earth appeared.
"Yes," said Wildstar as the smiling Doctor undid the cable and whispered something in his ear. "My friend just told me to tell you we're quite aware that down there is Sol Three, Mutter's Spiral."
"Keep him busy," whispered the Doctor. "Just advice. Must run, sorry. Seven minutes left, old chap. Get him rattled."
Derek nodded as the Doctor abruptly took off into the TARDIS with his cable and rapidly shut the door.
"You're not even saying goodbye?" piped up IQ-9. "How rude!"
"Well?" asked Gralnacz. "You know it'll take me just seven minutes to aim all my guns on that planet and blow it apart? You think your friend with the long scarf can help you? Think again. He's a vagabond, a criminal, and a bum. Like that?"
Keep on talking, smart guy, smiled Derek while he thought to himself. We're outta here in six and a half minutes!
"Why are you smiling?" asked Gralnacz as Venture, with a nod, programmed in the warp curve from the panel and took off for the bridge. "Are you mentally defective, Wildstar? Maybe you won't be such a good prospect for conversion? Maybe we should just kill you?"
Sandor nodded at the panel,
shutting it down as the TARDIS faded away into nothingness with that weird
groaning sound Derek had now just become accustomed to. The Russian then took
off for the
"How fun. Your friend just abandoned you. Should I go after him, smiling boy?" said Gralnacz.
Four minutes thought Derek. Now all I have to do is trick him into keeping our minds on us for a bit. He can pursue us, but when he goes into that warp, he's gone, according to the Doctor. Nice plan, and I'll carry it out by ticking him off.
"Smiling boy," mocked Gralnacz. "You know, you'll be the laughing stock of two galaxies when we have you in a reconstruction jar. Why are you smiling?"
Three minutes thought Derek as he heard Venture saying, "Attention, all hands...prepare for warp! All hands to their warp positions!" Now, for the knife... smiled Derek.
'"You've researched Earth. You know our gestures, right?" said Wildstar.
"Right. How interesting. A sociology lesson from an idiot. We're going to finish you soon, anyway. What's the point?"
"Not much. You can understand what I'm about to say, then?"
"Yes, spit it out. Are you going to pray to me for mercy?" chuckled Gralnacz.
"Nope, I'm just gonna say this, then I'll have to run, Gralnacz," smiled Derek. "Come and get me...if you can!"
Then, with a big, big smile, Derek Wildstar made a quick gesture with his right hand that involved his middle finger. Namely, his middle finger was up in the air...at attention.
"And eat it, Gralnacz! Got it!????? You'll never get us!" shouted Wildstar.
Derek smiled again as Gralnacz howled the most twisted howl of rage he had heard since he had last had a talk with Zordar.
Derek flipped off the screen, yelled to Homer, "Cut this line! NOW!" and ran for the nearest lift.
VI. FORTY-FIVE SECONDS TO ZERO HOUR
Technomugar Goraizu Fortress Sukalnach
Bridge
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-10:29:15.0 AM (
"He mocked me!" roared Gralnacz. "HE MOCKED ME! The fool! The idiot! The walking, smart-assed devil! That scum!"
"Sir, if we let him warp and just play at going into the warp, without doing so, we can trail back and hit Earth when it's undefended! We'll win! We'll worst the scum with his own sword!" said Trajan.
Trajan found himself being torn asunder with an enraged Gralnacz's electrical energy a moment later. "I...just...saved your career," he gasped. "Take my suggestion. Good...strategy...sir."
"Die, you old piece of organic dung! I will do this my way!" howled Gralnacz as Trajan cried out and collapsed in death. "Any further takers?"
All of the bridge crew sat in silence. No one dared argue with their commander in this mood, despite the conviction that he had gone beyond merely strange and bloodthirsty into the realms of utter madness.
"Good! Emergency warp! Now!" snapped Gralnacz, who was pacing the deck and tearing at his mock twentieth-century denims. "Get behind them! Give the bastards a little fire to scare them, and when we come out in our rightful time, we'll blow out their engines when we all reappear in the battle! Then, there'll be plunder for all of you! GO! FOLLOW THEM! Earth's past can wait a more opportune moment. I want that ship, and that damnable Captain!"
Under his raging orders, the Sukalnach advanced upon the Argo like a rabid dog.
VII. THIRTY SECONDS TO ZERO HOUR
Space Battleship Argo
Lunar Orbit
Saturday June 24,
1967-10:29:30.0 AM (
"Wildstar!" cried out Venture as Derek ran back onto the first bridge from out of the port side lift and threw himself into the Captain's chair. As he locked his harness, the bridge crew applauded quickly.
"All congratulations later," snapped Derek. "Steady as she goes. We're getting out of here and letting him follow us while he's good and mad."
"Why's that, sir?" asked Homer.
"If he follows us into
that interphase tunnel, we'll go where we're supposed to be going. He won't.
Everyone, stand by for battle as soon as we come out of warp near
Everyone on the bridge nodded.
"Ten seconds to warp," said Venture as fire from the Sukalnach roared in. He ignored it. "Nine...eight...seven..."
On the Sukalnach, Gralnacz was laughing like a fool as his guns slowly began to fire closer to the Argo. "Lock on engines, prepare for my mark to pursue," he smiled.
"Five...four...three," said Venture as the wave engine began to power up.
"Engines at maximum! Ready,
sir!" said an anonymous officer.
"Get them," smiled Gralnacz. "Wait until they warp out."
More fire roared past the Argo as Venture sat with his hand locked on the throttle. Got to time this just right, or we're stuck here forever... he thought as sweat poured down his face. "...One...Zero...WARP!"
The Argo wavered and faded into hyperspace, and into the interphase, with just half a second to spare.
In warp, Nova shut her eyes for a
moment, just as she sensed the odd sensation that her uniform was disappearing
as she faded into hyperspace.
Nova looked down at herself, and
realized that, for a moment, just a moment, she appeared to be naked in the
strange greenish-blue light of hyperspace.
She thought, Well, this is reassuring. At least this
means we’ve warped out. I just hope I’m not missing some article of clothing
when we emerge back into normal space. Or everything. That happened to me once.
Luckily, Derek put his shirt on me. I guess if it ever happens again, I can
find an emergency spacesuit? Oh, well…just shut your eyes and enjoy the show,
Mrs. Wildstar….
Unknown to Nova and the others, The Sukalnach roared up behind, fading into hyperspace just as the gateway closed and began to constrict.
"What's wrong?" yelled Gralnacz as every one of his ship's systems went berserk.
"Sirrrr," said Karlas with a very slowed-down voice as his image quickly turned into a blur. "We're in a real-space eddy in this warp. The edge of it...caught...us."
"Where are we goinggg?" cried Gralnacz, alarmed that his voice, and even cyborg body functions, seemed to be slowed down.
"Random warp," said Karlas with excruciating slowness. "The warp circuits are melted...the motivator is now a piece of scrap metal. Have no idea where we'll emerge...or when."
"Our mission?" gasped Gralnacz.
"It's a failure. Your lifestyle...it was..."
"Don't you mock me, you fool!" yelled Gralnacz. "You're finished, all of you. Finished! FINISHED!"
Karlas trembled, guessing that for his failure, Ekogaru had just consigned him to an eternity of torture with...
...A raving-mad Gralnacz.
Nowhere on the course it needed to be, the Sukalnach trailed off crazily into the multi-colored nothingness that seemed to yawn before it...forever.
VIII. BEGINNNING OF A BUSINESS CRUISE
The Doctor's TARDIS
The Time-Space Vortex
Saturday June 24,
1967-10:32 AM (
Mitzi Shavirov came into the TARDIS' control room just as the Doctor was bent in concentration over a monitor on his panel. As usual, the TARDIS' Time Rotor went up and down in a regular pattern in the middle of the hexagonal console.
"Doctor...I..."
"Shhh," replied
the Doctor. "Got BBC1 on the telly. It seems Mister Lennon has some
interesting ideas about aliens...just his normal ones, luckily. Abbey Road
Number Two looks normal, and the Brigadier just told me that the hysteresis we
set got rid of the U.N.I.T. troops as I expected. They're back eating breakfast
in their barracks in
"What? You're going to bump me off?"
"No," laughed the Doctor. "You know that sabbatical you wanted from U.N.I.T. and the American secret service agency you were a member of?"
"How did you know about that?" gasped Mitzi.
"A lot of people tell me a lot of things. The Brigadier and General Ryrie are pleased to inform you, through me, that you've been granted it. For one year, on only one condition, of course."
"That is?"
"You will take off and pursue some research into alien cultures...in the galaxy itself. All your arrangements have been made."
"But, where am I getting a ship?"
"You're on one, silly! And I need a new traveling companion. Things haven't been the same here since Leela left to get married."
"Who's Leela?"
"Warrior of the Sevarteem tribe. I've got some interesting stories to tell you about her. Are you coming with me or do you want to spend your sabbatical in a holiday camp?"
"Doctor, I'll stay with you," said Mitzi.
"Great! It's arranged. Our first port of call will be Earth."
"But I just thought you said..."
"The Earth they come from," explained the Doctor, pointing out towards the stars. "Earth in the year 2202, where the Argo is their most famous space battleship and the Star Force happens to be their greatest heroes. They're going home to fight a battle against the Being that sent Gralnacz, whom they've dealt a setback to. However, that Being, Ekogaru the Great, as he humbly calls himself, is a dark, vengeful force of darkness probably as bad as Davros...maybe worse. They'll need expert advice how to fight something like that, as they've had faster-than-light travel for only three years. I may not get a nice reception, but I'm going straight to their Earth Defense Headquarters to talk with Commanding General Singleton himself," said the Doctor as he set the coordinates for January 2202, Earth. "Time is of the essence. And don't talk much, at least at first. These people have been invaded so many times that they're quite a suspicious lot..."
"What?" said the Doctor as the coordinates suddenly went blank. A new set of temporal coordinates appeared on the display he was setting, and the numbers for the spatial coordinates began to run back crazily from the mark of 21987.675.876-Delta towards a much lower set of numbers.
Mitzi screamed as a dark, hooded, but blurry being appeared in the TARDIS control room. "What's that?"
"Not, what, who's that?" roared the Doctor.
"You know what he is?"
"Yes, another blasted Time Lord! Why do you always have to meddle in my affairs?" he demanded as the blurred figure faded in.
"It's simple, Doctor. You were on business. However, the Directorate has judged that you have gone too far for now," replied a deep, stentorian voice. "You are needed for other business, in time."
"What in blazes are you doing to my coordinates?"
"Resetting them, and erasing from your computer and your mind those you were about to enter. Your work with the Star Force is finished, for several ages, at any rate."
"Where are you taking me?"
"Look at your coordinates, Old System."
"00000.000.000-Prime?" cried the Doctor. "I just came from there days ago! Why am I wanted on Gallifrey now? Do they want me to confess to things I've never done?"
"No. The First Directorate of the Celestial Intervention Agency needs you...at once. Settle down for a bit of a ride, Doctor. I shall see you shortly."
The form disappeared as the TARDIS began to fade from normal space.
"What's happening?"
"Auto recall circuit...they're serious about this."
"So what do we do?"
"I may be in a bit of trouble, bit at least you can meet Leela first-hand while I'm being investigated again?"
"Investigated? You didn't do anything wrong! You helped them!"
"Ah, but that's not the way the High Council thinks, nor is it the way that my CIA thinks. It seems that during your sabbatical my bosses are calling me on the carpet. Oh, well. Like some tea? I'll boil it up."
"Doctor...thank you. And good luck."
"Thanks. I may need it."
IX. BACK INTO THE FIRE
The Vicinity of
Space Battleship Argo
January 10, 2202
0154 Hours
Greenish light, yellowish light, white light.
A moment later, near
The light of normal space began to
reappear as Captain Wildstar opened his eyes as Venture called out, “Warp
completed!”
A momentary warp sickness
came over the Argo's crew as they regained their bearings.
I hope we’re back in our time, Derek thought. Also hope I have my Astro-Automatic. Felt
like it was floating off me back there someplace…
“Ship condition, normal,”
Sandor announced, relieved that his bionic arms and legs were in place as they
should have been.
Nova felt her uniform and
took a look, and breathed a silent prayer of thanks that all of her clothes
were on. So did Eager, who felt “naked” in warp longer than Nova had.
Then, Venture looked at his chronometer, and at the astro-compass. "Captain, we're back at RPS-180...where that Fortress was…and back in our own time at last!"
"What about that sub?"
asked Derek.
Nova looked up at the overhead as the Time Radar went off. "It just dropped back down out of hyperspace before we reappeared. It's the one we were after when we left! I'm picking up two objects behind us. Switching to video."
Wildstar smiled with relief
for a second and then went grim as he noticed the images of the battered Colin
Powell and the
"Captain, the chronometer reads 01-10-2202:0154 Hours Standard," said Venture. "We're back! And everything made it! It worked!"
"And space looks empty except for the frigate Colin Powell and the liner Westhampton Beach," said Wildstar. "The wave must have just rolled over them. Maybe it didn't take them anywhere. Homer, try to raise them. I hope people are still alive on those ships."
"The Powell is sending a weak message to us and to the base," replied Homer.
"Read it," snapped Derek.
"It reads: Eliminated two more subs through direct fire. Two large fortresses appeared and warped away just as wave swept over your battleship. Fought off fighter planes and eliminated same. Badly damaged from final engagement with space submarine. Must return to Neptune area base on Triton at once. Life support fading. Picking up weak distress signal from Westhampton Beach. Surviving crew requesting aid, relief, and defense, they say they were boarded. Unknown if enemy troopers survived hyperspatial wave. Brief transmission from Uranus area intercepted; wave seems to be fading in intensity as it travels towards Earth and center of solar system. Thanks on a job well done and a battle well fought. Would love to hear if you somehow got those fortresses in warp, which is apparently impossible, and if so, how you did it. -- Regards-- Lieutenant Ember Tyson : Acting Captain, Space Frigate Colin Powell. That's it."
"Captain, the frigate is approaching our area," said Nova as she watched her radar.
"Homer, send this reply,"
said Derek as he got up and looked at Sandor. Would fire salute for your
gallantry under fire--but must rescue liner and any survivors. Hope to see you
soon on Triton and speak of your bravery to base commander. This is far from
enough, but thanks for a job well done. Regards-Captain Derek Wildstar:
Captain, Space Battleship Argo, Commander, First Interstellar Special
Missions Force. After you send that, send this to the
"Yessir!" replied Homer.
"Venture, Parsons, find that ship and get us there."
"Yessir."
"Nova, assemble a team of medics. You lead them into the wreck and get any survivors you find and bring them back here. Dash, it's my guess that the troopers on the ship, if any, might be similar to the troopers we encountered in the past. You go brief Ensign Hemsford of the Marine Group on the situation and tell him as much as you know, and give him his marching orders."
"Yessir," began Dash as Nova left the bridge. "Rosstowski?"
"Yessir?"
"I'm going to remember
you, Hartcliffe, and Nova in a while for what you did in the twentieth century.
Thanks for your valor under fire in that fracas back on
"Yessir," smiled Rosstowski. "Anything else?"
"When you can, eat a good meal and chill out," smiled Wildstar. "Damn good job you did back there."
"Thanks, sir. You too."
"Thanks. Venture, full speed. We've got a job to do!" said Captain Wildstar.
On that note, back in its own time, but facing an alien incident that was getting stranger by the minute, the space battleship Argo roared on.
END.
Here ends Fixing a Hole.
To return to the
Introduction to the Rikasha Incident Please click here