ALTERNATE
TALES OF THE STAR FORCE
STAR BLAZERS---IT NEVER RAINS IN
A Postscript to THE
NEW COMET--- BY: Frederick P. Kopetz
This Story is being completed with the Cooperation
and Assistance of Derek A.C. Wakefield (as usual)---Freddo
PART THREE: PINK
ELEPHANTS AND WOZZLES…
I. TRIAL
Earth
The
Earth Defense Headquarters
March 23, 2208
1125 Hours Local Time
Over a month had
passed.
Bryan Hartcliffe was
finally receiving the final court-martial he had earned for assaulting his own
pregnant wife the previous fall.
So far, the trial was
proving to be a circus.
Hartcliffe, not
remembering the dictum that “any man who
is his own lawyer has a fool for a client”, was acting as his own counsel,
and he was using that opportunity to “get back at his beast friends”, as he so
miserably put it.
The Court-Martial
board in his case consisted of one Admiral Dykins, along with Eager, Todd
Voorhees, Diane Henson, and Cory Conroy.
They were getting
sick of his antics.
On the stand,
enduring about a second day worth of pointless cross-examination, was Nova
Wildstar, whose clear eyewitness account of what had happened on that transport
(brought forth by the prosecutor, a Lieutenant Deanna Schmidt) was being torn
to bits by Hartcliffe.
“Okay. You said you
saw me yellin’ at Angie like a madman, right, luv?”
“My name is not luv,
it is Lieutenant Commander Wildstar, counsellor” snapped Nova, who was wondering,
Why are they letting this idiot be his
own lawyer? While she did so, she sat drumming her fingers on the rail
around the witness stand.
“I said,
you saw me yellin’ at Angie?” yelled
“Objection,” snapped
Schmidt. “Badgering the witness.”
“Objection sustained,
Mister Hartcliffe,” said Admiral Dykins. “Need we remind you that this is the
tenth time this Court has had to admonish you for this conduct, with this same witness. Proceed, and remember that the witness is a higher-ranking
officer than you, Lieutenant.”
“You saw me yelling
at Angie?” began
“Yes. I did. You also
accused me of doing something kinky when I was nursing my son. You also woke my
daughter, slapped your wife in the head, and then punched her like a
prizefighter. You were about to kick her in the stomach, kick
a pregnant woman in the stomach, mind you, when Sasha Wakefield kicked you in
the crotch. A kick you deserved. A kick I would have given you had I not been
occupied with my children.”
“Where’d I punch
Angie?” demanded
Nova pointed to the
right side of her own head. “Right here. And you could
have caved her skull in doing so. The impact also knocked her out of her seat
to the deck where she lay stunned like a rag doll. I went over all of this
before. Your actions took maybe one minute and twenty seconds from when you
began the altercation by insulting me. When you act like a thug against a
pregnant woman and a mother, you act very fast.”
Hartcliffe went on and
on and on, for about a good thirty-five minutes. Nova thought, at one point, He would be a pretty good lawyer if his
arguments weren’t so much bullcrap.
Finally, the ordeal
was over, and Nova was allowed to come down from off the stand. She sat down beside
Derek, who whispered, “That took too long.”
“You’re telling me,”
she said. “I think I would have rather been fighting Desslok again than doing
this.”
“You and me both,”
Derek replied as he patted her hand.
Admiral Dykins
slammed down his gavel and snapped, “We’re going to recess this Court for this
afternoon. We shall reconvene at 1100 Hours tomorrow morning. Dismissed!”
Eager came down from
the panel he had been sitting at, and as Nova stood up and yawned in her EDF
Administration Section whites, he said, “Ah feel like this trial ain’t ever
gonna end! It ain’t fair!”
“No, it’s not,” Nova said as she yawned again. “I
need coffee. Derek, I wonder how Alex and Ariel are doing?”
“I’ve been checking
the messages from your mother,” Derek said. “She’s in a minor panic.”
Nova nodded as Angie
Hartcliffe came up to her and said, “Thank you, Nova.”
“For what?” Nova said.
“For not backing down
to
“Before his father
died in the Gamilon War, he was a halfway decent lad,” said Clive. “Then, he
began getting into trouble right after that…”
Bryan, who was
talking with his guards, overheard and said, “Yeah, mate. Losin’ your parents in the war can make anyone messed up in
the head. Most people who lost their mum or dad in the war are messed up like
me. What excuse do we ‘ave? Desslok friggin’ took away
our childhood. No wonder we’re messed up!”
Derek Wildstar
snapped shut his cell phone and said, “Hartcliffe, are you saying that everyone
who has lost their parents in the wars we’ve fought is a basket case?”
“Ye’re right, sir. We
are. I mean, look a’ me…look at you…”
“Look at my rank,”
snapped Derek. “These shoulder boards on my uniform. What do you see?”
“Scrambled eggs and
gold braid and stars, mate. Scrambled eggs, oh, my lady I just love your legs!”
Wildstar glared at
him and said, “I’ve lost both of my parents and I have flag rank, a command, a
wife, and three wonderful children. What do you have?”
“A fishwife, a kid I
never see, and handcuffs, man,” said
“No thank you,” said
Angie firmly as she wiped her eyes. “I wouldn’t want bracelets like that.”
“I don’t go around
beating people up,” Nova sniffed. “Come on, Derek,” she said as she grabbed her
husband’s hand and put her nose up in the air. “I know when we’re not wanted!”
As the Wildstars
walked off, Diane Henson looked at
“Thank you, I like
the compliment,” he said as he turned towards Angie with his lips pursed. “Give
us a kiss, luv!”
Angie glared at him
and slapped him across the face, falling into Clive’s arms as she stumbled out
of one of her clogs.
“Oh, is that the way
it is?” he snapped at Angie and Clive as he glared at his cousin. “Robbin’ the
bloody nest, huh, CUZ?”
“The nest we speak of
is one you’ve bloody abandoned,” said Clive.
“Well, I’ll deal with
this…one way or another!” yelled Hartcliffe as the Shore Patrol guards dragged
him out of the courtroom by his handcuffs. “I’ll deal with this! You’re both
DONE! Both of you! DONE!” he ranted.
Todd Voorhees watched
the scene and said to Admiral Dykins, “Propensity for violence?”
“Propensity for
instability, severe,” murmured Dykins. “Should that man ever be in the cockpit
of a Tiger again, you think?”
Voorhees shook his
head.
“Mister Eager?” said
Dykins.
“Hell, no,” he
whispered.
“Sir, can we
reconvene?” said Cory Conroy in his heavy accent.
“Not until tomorrow;
I’ve already dismissed the Court,” said Dykins as he walked out, glancing at
the Wildstars as they were handed a little boy and a little girl by a woman
with dark hair who looked somewhat unhappy. He glanced at Nova bouncing her
daughter a little as the officer exchanged one of her own dress pumps for a low
walking sandal and he said, ‘We’ve inconvenienced the witnesses and spectators
enough with this business. We’ll reconvene when I said we would reconvene…”
“Not a bad thought,
sir,” said Diane Henson.
II. RECESS
Earth
The
The Vicinity of Earth Defense Headquarters
March 23, 2208
1249 Hours Local Time
A few minutes later,
Nova was walking down a pathway in a park not far from EDF HQ, having doffed
her uniform coat and ascot, with her EDF blouse open somewhat as her daughter discreetly
took her milk at her breast. “I wonder why they have to make these skirts so
short,” she murmured as the sun hit her bare legs as she walked.
“Ariel’s?” said Nova’s
mother as she looked at her granddaughter’s sundress. “A baby’s skirt is always
short, and…”
“No, mine,” Nova
snapped. “It seems worse when you have that coat off, somehow. Thanks for
bringing the flats, Mom…they make it easier to walk when you’re carrying a
squirm-germ…”
“Anytime,” said Teri
Forrester. She looked hard at Derek and said, “You two cannot neglect your son
and daughter for these military affairs…”
“We were both needed
and wanted in that Court,” snapped Derek as he carried his son, who was
sleeping. “Your husband’s a lawyer. You should appreciate the inevitability of
a summons. Even a creep like me who lost both of his parents,” he snapped
bitterly.
“Derek, don’t let
what
“Is he that man who
they dragged out while he was yelling?” said Teri.
Nova nodded.
“I remember him now.
He was leering at you on your wedding day, Nova. At you, when to my knowledge,
he was already married. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind…”
“Why didn’t you?”
Nova said.
“Dear, I remember
that trouble your Aunt Yvona was giving then. I didn’t want to cause more
trouble…”
“In hindsight, maybe
you need to cause some trouble,” said Derek as Alex yawned and woke up. “Hiya,
sport,” Derek said. “How are you?”
The baby boy, in his
shorts and t-shirt, blinked at his father as he suddenly used a little
sneakered foot to kick at him. “Getting feisty, huh, Alex?”
He reached towards
his little barefoot sister and made a squealing noise. Nova looked at him,
smiled, and said, “We’re in the park…you’ll have to wait your turn if you’re
hungry, Alexander!”
Derek looked around,
just in time to see Sandor approaching hand-in-hand with Diane Henson. “Wildstar. Were you in Court today?”
Derek nodded. “Yeah…what’s
up?”
“I wanted to let you
know that we got most of the Second-Stage work on the Argo finished today,” said Sandor. “I just got back from
“How far?” said
Derek.
“Out of the sea, up
above the atmosphere, test warp to Mars, a few shots at the firing range in the
Asteroid Belt, and return home. Some of the crew’s in town….estimated time of
the cruise, six hours; date…the twenty-fifth. Sir, do we have a Captain?”
Derek grinned. “Now
that’s a good reason to get out of the house! And on a Friday, too…”
“Nova, you’re staying
home…” said Teri.
“Mom, like the
kids for a few hours? You can stay
in
“Nova, I…”
“Then I can get
Katrina to watch them,” Nova said brightly. “Or Sasha…”
“You’re paying for my
plane tickets,” snapped Teri. At that, everyone except her laughed, even Ariel,
who was still latched onto her mother…
“Yikes!” Nova
snapped. “Derek, your daughter bites!”
“Hey, she can laugh,”
said Derek. “You’re laughing, too, Nova…”
“No, I’m not!” she
said, aware that she was laughing…
TO BE CONTINUED….