Wondering Destiny

Part 1

By Yuki Wildstar

 

 

 

She heard someone yell her name. Who could that be? She wondered. From the distant she watched as he walked towards her. Her heart almost stopped to see him again. “Nova? Is that you?”

“Oh my god, Derek! What are you doing here? How long has it been?”

He looked into her eyes and then her completely. She was still beautiful. “My God Nova, it’s been too long. How are you?”

She smiled to see him and shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve been good. What brings you to this side of the planet? I thought you would never leave Great Island.”

“I’m just here for a week. I have some meetings on base. Last I heard, you left EDF and vanished from the planet. What have you been doing?”

“Well, I did leave EDF but I stayed on at the hospital. I heard you made captain. Congratulation I’m happy for you. It’s your dream.”

He continued to stare at her, “you look beautiful.”

She blushed and looked away.  “Thank you. Your still handsome and charming as ever.”

“So this is where you’ve been hiding.”

“I wouldn’t say I was hiding.”

He stared more into her eyes. The last time he saw her she was walking out of his apartment and never looked back. He tried to speak to her but she never answered his calls. Last he heard she moved back to the states. He thought of her on and off for many years after she left.  He always wondered what became of her. For months after she left he felt horrible that he did what he did. He spent many nights going out trying to forget her. It was an endless stream of women to distract him from thinking of her. Soon he just had to let her go. He would keep an ear to the grapevine for any information about her but she seemed to vanish from the Earth’s surface. Now here she stood before him looking as stunning as ever. “Well you haven’t been in the press in years.”

“Hmm, you know me I hate having my privacy invaded. But I see you in the papers often, seems like there is always a woman on your arm each time.”

“I was only trying to forget the one that broke my heart.”

She frowned at what he was saying. Had he been faithful they might have been still together. “Well it wasn’t me that was laying on top of that little blond headed bimbo with my ass in the air.” She snapped. “Let’s cut the bullshit, Derek. I’m living with someone and we’ve been together for 3 years now. So trying to charm me isn’t going to work.”

He felt a sharp stab in his heart. He knew she was mad at him when she left but seems like she still hates him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories. Nova I never meant to hurt you. I know now I mess up and lost the best thing in my life.” He looked down and said, “I’m so sorry.” When he looked up she was still there looking at him.

“Forget it, Derek. Hey if it wasn’t for you screwing around I would have never met Neil.” He watched as her face lit up.

“You look happy. Why don’t you join me for lunch and tell me more about him.”  He offered.

She laughed, “I don’t think so. Anyway, I need to hurry Neil is waiting for me.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe we can have lunch sometime this week before I go back to Great Island.”

“Geese I wish I could, but I can’t. Hey, but it was nice seeing you again.” She looked at her watch and said. “I have to go. Bye Derek.” She pushed past him and hurry to her car. She could feel her heart pound inside her chest. She sat in her car and took deep breaths to slow down her breathing. All these years and he still made her weak in the knees. “For God sakes, Nova, it’s been years. You’ve moved on and are happy with Neil.” She moved her rearview mirror and found him standing there still looking her way. Quickly she started the car and drove off. By the time she made it home her nerves have calm down. Walking into the house she found the love of her life sitting on the couch watching the news. She tossed her things on the chair and walked over to him and hugged him tight.

“Wow, did I miss something?” his blue eyes dance to see her.

“I just missed you today.” She kissed him gently on his lips and hugged him tighter.

“I missed you too.”

 

During dinner that night they talked about their day. He was on the phone most of the morning with his team mates about an upcoming mission and she talked about her day in the hospital. It almost slip her mind about bumping into Derek. She never like to keep any secrets from him and she wasn’t going to start now. “I ran into an old friend from the star force today.”

“Oh, who.”  He asked as he picked up his cup of hot tea.

“Derek Wildstar.” She said non-chalet.

He stopped his hand midway from his mouth and then place it down. “THE Derek Wildstar. The same Derek Wildstar that cheated on you?” Nova nodded her head. “And what did Mr. Wildstar have to say?”

“Captain Wildstar, and nothing. We just made idle chit chat and then I left. Don’t look at me like that. There was nothing there for me. I love you and only you.”

He reached across the table and took her hand. “Then let’s get married.”

“We’ve been down this road before. We agreed that we weren’t ready for that yet. Why do we have to get married anyway? Everything is just fine. We are happy we don’t need to get married to know we love each other.”

“Because I want you to be okay if something happens to me.”

“Neil you know I hate when you talk like that. Nothing will happen to you. So stop talking like that.”

“Nova, I never kept what I do and the time will come when I will get call out. I have no idea how long and where.”

She huffed, “You’ve gone out before and you always come back.  So enough of this conversation.” She picked up her plate and walked into the kitchen. Neil hated when they argued about marriage and his job but it was always there. He threw his napkin on the table and walked into the kitchen. He found her washing her plate. He stepped behind her and slipped his arms around her waist.

“I’m sorry. I hate when we disagree.” He whispered into her ear and then nuzzled his lips on her neck. She slowly turned around and he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

 

Weeks later her mind forgot about Derek Wildstar. Her life with Neil was laughter and love. She walked into the house from a hard long day at work to find him sitting in their office holding a letter. He looked up and try to give her a smile but she knew the minute she saw his face. “When are you going?” she managed to say.

“We have a month.” He replied. She flew across the room and into his arms. “I will have to go and meet everyone else. We have to go over our plans.”

“I’ll miss you so much.” Days turned to weeks and as it came closer to him leaving she found herself crying herself to sleep. He had gone on many missions but something about this one made her uneased. There were days when he didn’t come home at all. He would walk into the house in the early morning hours exhausted and stress. She never complained and made sure that she was home when he was. She spent as much time with him as she could, never taking anything from granted with what time they had. A week before he left she ran into Derek again. “Are you stalking me?” she teased.

“Maybe,” he joked. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked with caution.

“More meetings and training. I’ll be here for a few months.”

Nova looked at the chart in her hand and said. “No, what are you doing HERE. In the hospital.”

“Oh, well I was hoping to run into you and see if you would like to have lunch.” He saw her face and he stepped back, “come on I’m not here to win you back. I just want to see what you’ve been up too.”

“I can’t, Neil is preparing to leave for space and I want to spend as much time with him while he is home.”

“Well, how about after he leaves? I’m here for a few months. I’m sure you’ll be bored sometime after he goes.”

Nova huffed. “I’m busy for the next few months.”

“Oh I see.” He said disappointed. “Well if you ever change your mind here is my card.” He kissed her cheek quickly and said. “It was nice seeing you again.” He walked out of the hospital turning once to look at the tall building where she worked. He thought once he returned to Great Island he would forget her. But he found himself thinking of her often. He even opened up to Sandor to seeing her again. “She still looks beautiful. I can’t believe that she has gotten even more stunning. How did I manage to lose her? When we got back from Iscandar I thought we would marry and start a family. Then everything just went south.”

“You mean you went south. The paparazzi was just too much for you. Everything went to your head. Fame can do that to even the most private person. Unfortunately, you fell into the whole thing, hook, line and sinker. In the process you lost a really good girl. How is she?”

Sandor can see the glimmer in his eyes, “she’s happy. Living with some guy. No kids, or at least she has no kids. She didn’t mention it when we met.” He stood up and walked over to the window. “Gosh I miss her. I had it all and I mess it up and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Do you blame her?”

He shook his head, “no. I don’t blame her. She loved me and I screw it up acting like some hotshot with a big dick. Damn! If I ever got another chance with her I would never let anything stand between me and her. I would never let her go. Here I am almost 30 years old and have nothing. No wife, no family, no house. I live in a condo and no one steady enough to get to really know. All those women want was to be with the famous Derek Wildstar. They weren’t interested in just me. They never took the time to actually sit down and have a conversation. You know one chick just went straight to asking if I would go to her sister wedding. She wanted to shut her up about finding losers. With Nova, we really had that bound. When we were on ship there was time to actually know each other. I loved her Sandor and I lost her.”

Now here he was again in Camp Lejeune North Carolina dealing with work and hoping that he could get a lunch date with her. She turned him down and it felt horrible to hear her say no. All he wanted was to talk with her. He could see she was happy with the man in her life, but just to hear her speak and laugh is all he wanted. How he missed her laughter.  His heart ached to be with her. Forget it Wildstar, she has a whole different life now. You will only complicate her life. He drove off to his next meeting on base. His time was meeting and training class. He would head straight to his hotel room and spend his time studying for his class the following day.  Midway of his studies he would think of her. What was she doing at that moment? He knew that he already left for his mission, he called Sandor to find out more about his mission and MOS. He was the leader of his team and a top pilot. He had an accurate shot on weapons, a sharp shooter, earning his code name Lockon Stratis. Wildstar was very impress with his jacket. There were no listed family members making him an orphan or a least that’s what he put on his jacket. Nova was the only family he had besides his team. He was a loner, he prefer it that way. His SAT scores were higher than his, making Wildstar admired him and hate him all together. He looked over to his clock and saw it was close to midnight. Rolling his eyes, he tossed his manuals across the bed, turned off the light and pulled the covers over him. It was a restless night for him. His dreams were about her falling off the DNA machine to the ground and slipping into a coma. He felt her slip out of his life. During class he drifted off into space thinking of her. She seemed to consume his days and nights. “Captain Wildstar?” She called to him three times before he finally answered.

“Huh? I’m sorry did you want me?”

“Yes, I was wondering if you would help me with Chapter 4 in the tactical manual. I don’t understand how the concept on page 6 can help us push the enemy back.”

She was pretty and a body for sin. Her mousy blond hair with the pale blue eyes made her stare intense. She wore a red lipstick that made her eyes pop even more so. Though he usually would charm her back to his suite and have her out of her clothes within minutes his mind only thought of Nova. Now she was taking control of his sex life. She was the only girl that waited for the right guy and he stole that by cheating on her months after his return from space. After returning from Iscandar he was ship out for another year. By the time he returned the press were all over him for an interview. Nova would email him on ship warning him that he was still a hot subject. He laughed at first but once back on Earth his fame consumed him. He fell deeper and deeper into the temptation of it all. The first time he cheated on Nova was the day she walked in on him and some girl. She ran out of his apartment and never looked back. She cut off all contacts with everyone they knew and took the first plane out of Great Island. It was weeks when he stopped looking and began drinking. The press were all over him and he basked in it. From that point he went from one companion to another. They were faceless women and he could never remember their names. He chose not to know their names, remembering their names would only mean he was attached and he never wanted to be attached again. Now here he was thinking of her and not seeing the pretty girl in front of him. “Um, sure. How about we go to the cafeteria and see what you’re having problems with.”

“Thank you so much. I just understand the concept of using a full attack to,” she began, but all he could see was Nova and he on ship laughing and talking about what they were going to do when they returned to Earth. They sat in the cafeteria for two hours and she asked questions after question. Finally, she asked him about his life on ship. It was always the subject before she touched his hand and he whisked her away to his hotel room. But something disrupted their conversation. His cell rang and rang. He looked at it and didn’t recognized the number.

“This is Captain Wildstar.” He said.

It took a few seconds before he heard her voice. “Hello Derek.”

“Who’s this?”

“Um, it’s me Nova.”

He stood up from the table and found a quiet spot. “Well hello there. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He could feel his smile from ear to ear.

“Put the pumps on it Flyboy. I just wanted to know if you’re available tomorrow.”

“For you I will make myself available.”

“It’s not like that hot shot. I have a patient that would like to meet you. He is 6 years old and when I told him I knew you he wanted to meet you. So can you make it?”

“Sure, what time?” He couldn’t believe that after all this time she was going to have brunch with him.

Nova wasn’t sure if she wanted to call him. But her 6 year old patient was so thrill that she knew him that he beg her to have him come to see him. Little Jun was dealt a hard life, at the age of 4 he was diagnosed with 2^nd stage lymphoma cancer. He was in the road to recovery and beating the horrible battle that took so many. Each day she would admire the young child for he woke up smiling and laughed at everything. He was a spirited child that took each day as another day of life. He was her special patient and she looked forward to seeing him every day. She would do anything for him and swallowing her pride would be one of them. She hoped she’d never had to see him again, but to put a smile on his face she would walk to hell and back. She hung up the cell and smiled at him. “Well looks like you are getting your Christmas present early.”

His smile widened and he clap in glee to know that he was meeting Captain Derek Wildstar. “Thank you, thank you Ms. Nova.” She laughed as he jumped up and down on his hospital bed.  She hope that this would be the only time that she have to set eyes on him ever again.

 

 

 

 

Nova sat with Jun reading a book. He had chemo that morning and he was feeling tired. He kept staring at the door waiting for Wildstar to walk through it. Nova hoped that he didn’t stand him up. It would be like him to do that to a young child that was ill. He probably ran into some girl and went off to do god knows what. She felt her temper rise with each passing minute. She was ready to tell Jun to take a nap when he walked into the room holding a box in his hand. “Am I late?” he asked worried that she would be angry. Jun eyes pop opened and felt the energy that he had before his chemo therapy. “You must be Jun, hello, I’m Captain Wildstar. My friend Nova, here says you’re a big fan.”

“Oh yes, Captain Wildstar. Ever since I read about you in the books and paper, my dad says you save the Earth from the Gamilons. He told me about you and the Star Force. Were the Gamilon really blue? Did they have tentacles and one eye on their foreheads?” he rambled on and on with questions making Wildstar laugh. He spent hours with the young child talking and telling him stories. Nova finally came in and announced that he needed to rest.  “Please just a few minutes more, please Ms. Nova.”

“I’m sorry Jun, but you have to rest or you won’t get any better.”

He turned to Wildstar, “I can stay up, I promise.”

He smiled, “No, she’s right. You need your rest. I can come back another time and tell you all about our returned back to Earth. It’s when I finally realized that I really liked Ms. Nova.” He said and smiled in her direction. “Now get some rest you look like you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“Oh all right.” He snuggled into his bed and fell fast asleep.

They tiptoe out of his room and closed the door. “Thank you Derek, he had an awesome time. You made his day. He will remember this day for the rest of his life.”

“I’m glad I can help. Now, how about lunch tomorrow?”

“I can’t,” she tried to tell him.

“Nova, it’s just lunch, nothing more. Anyway I would like to know more about Jun.”

“I don’t know.”

“It can’t be your little friend, what’s his name, because he left weeks ago. Or is he back?”

“No Derek he isn’t back.” She said annoyed that he called him her little friend.

“Kids at home?”

“No, we have no children.”

“Really, I thought you would have a least 3 or 4 by now.”

She just replied, “Nope, not married, no kids.”

“Is there an issue with him?”

“No, and its none of your business. Now I have to get back to work. Thank you again for doing that.”

He grabbed her arm, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what about dinner? Come on, one favor deserves another.”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh alright, dinner tomorrow.”

“Good, I’ll call you later and tell you where.”

“Nothing intimate,” she wagged her finger at him.

“Promise.”

 

 

 

“So tell me about what you’ve been up to since I left.”

“What part would you like to know? How depress I was when you left? Or the fact that I wanted to just drink my sorrows away.” He joked.

“Really Derek, are you trying to put guilt my way? You know what happened. I wasn’t about to stand by and take the embarrassment. Or tolerate betrayal. If you did it once that I caught you then you will do it again and before. Anyway, I thought you would finally settle down. But from what I see in the press, you love the life your leading and have no intention of settling down.”

“That’s because I lost the one I really wanted to be with. I know I screwed up, I was stupid and arrogant. I let the fame get to my head and in the process I lost you. I haven’t been happy since you left. And you are you happy?”

She smiled thinking of Neil. “Yes I am.”

“Then why hasn’t he married you yet?” he blew on his coffee cup and stared into her eyes.

She looked away past him, “it’s not him. He’s asked a few times but I turned him down each time.”

Her replied interest him. “Why is that? Don’t you love him?”

“Yes I love him very much. I thought I could never love anyone again after you, but then he was sent to me. I never looked back after that. I cried a long time over you. But when Neil walked into my life I knew that Love was possible again.”

“How did you meet him.”

She grinned, “I truly didn’t like him at first. We met after one of his team mate were admitted into the hospital. It was the D wing, which is only for special forces. I was covering for a friend. He and his friends were not allowing for their team mate to rest. Of course he was angry that his friend was injured and they wanted to question him. We argued back and forth then he called me a bitch. I had him escorted out. The next day he found me and had a dozen roses in his arms and apologized for being so rude. We talked and then he persuade me until I gave in and had lunch with him. We talked and I thought he was sweet and honorable. I took a chance and went to dinner with him. We’ve been together ever since. We moved in together two years ago. We discussed marriage on and off but I’m not ready. I don’t think I will ever be. Kids? Well I don’t know. I really haven’t had the need to have any.  I mean it has crossed my mind but then I think of his job and think it’s best not to bring it up. If anything happened to him I don’t think I can handle explaining why their father died. I know you probably know more about his job then I do. I wouldn’t be surprised if you check out his jacket.” He sat quiet and shifted his eyes away. Nova stared at him in disbelief. “You had him check out, didn’t you?” once again he sat quiet. “Damn you Wildstar! How could you. What else have you learned to hold over my head?”

“Nothing then what you’ve already told me. He doesn’t have another family, or some kids running around. He is a good man. I envy him.”

They sat looking at each other for a few and she looked at her watch. “My goodness I have to go. Its late and I have to work in the morning. Thank you for dinner.”

“Wait I’ll walk you out let me just pay the check.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’ve paid it for you. You can send me your cut later.”

“At least let me walk you to your car.” He tossed some cash on the table for a tip and walked her out. “So I hope that you had a good time. It was nice to see you again and talk. I missed our talks. Please let me.” He reached for the door and opened it. With ease he leaned closer to her.

“Don’t, I don’t want you to think there can be more to this then it is. Good night Derek.” Quickly she slipped into her car and drove off.

 

 

 

He waited a few days before going to her house. He sat outside in his car looking at the little house with the picket fence and wrapped around porch. The shutters were white and the house was painted a mint green. He looked at the passenger seat where the flowers sat. He took a deep breath and walked to her house. With hesitation he knocked on the door. She answered a minute later in sweats pants and t-shirt, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She frowned and asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to apologize. My intentions weren’t to make you feel uncomfortable. May I come in?”

She waved him in. “You can’t stay long. I have to go to work soon.” Simultaneously the phone rang and Derek notice a dark car pull up to the drive way. Two uniformed men step out. Nova ran to answer the phone not paying attention to the car. She picked it up and answered it. “hello?”

“No Va, it’s  , luya!. Can, hear me.”

“Your breaking up.” She placed a finger on her ear and try to listen more carefully.

“Nova,” Derek said trying to get her attention.

“Derek, not now, its Alalu,” she said turning to see the two uniform officers at her door.

 

 

 

It was cold and raining. Nova stood over the grave numb to what was being said. She wore a simple black dress and black jacket over it. She didn’t say much to anyone, she was lost in her own thoughts. She would look in the distant waiting for him to walk towards her and tell her it was a bad joke. He would throw himself at her feet and ask for forgiveness for make her sad and worried. To see the uniform officers at her door that dreadful day she thought it was a sick joke. The second one of them asked if she was Nova Forester then she passed out. She woke up to see Derek’s face holding her hand. It didn’t happen she thought to herself.  It was a bad dream but yet there he was holding her hand. He tried to console her and taking control in arranging everything for her. He made calls to Great Island and within the states to find out what happened. At first he was told it was pilot error but then as he dug deeper he found out that he was killed in action within another galaxy. He gave her the answers she was looking for. If it made her mind at ease then he would lie to let her think he died honorably. The rain began to come down harder and people began to disperses back to their cars. His teammates bid their good byes. Their tears mixed in with rain drops. It was hard on them as well as her. Everybody was long gone and she and Derek were the only ones left. She sat there staring into space as the rain poured down on them. After an hour Derek knelt down in front of her and said. “Nov, we should go. You’re going to get sick. It’s cold and the rain is not letting up. Please baby let me take you home.”

“I want to be alone, please go away.” She said in a low tone.

“Nov, it’s just pouring and its starting to get colder. You can come back tomorrow.”

“I said I want to be alone!” She snapped.

He stepped back and simply said, “okay, but I’ll be over there when you’re ready to go.” He walked over to the car and watched her sit there and stared out to nothing.  She stood up and finally looked down at the coffin that laid in the ground.  They would be covering it up once she left. From the corner of her eye she saw him standing under the tree, dry. She started to walk towards him waving, smiling that he was still alive. Derek watched as she walked and then began to run faster towards something. She began to wave and then screamed his name. He looked towards where she was going and saw nothing. He watched as she stopped under the tree and began to speak. Who was she talking too? He wondered.

Her eyes filled with tears to see him standing there. Unlike her he was dry to the bone. She reached for his face and he spoke. “Nova my love you must go.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

He gave the smile she always loved. “You must go, the weather will only worsen.  You’ll get sick and I won’t be there to take care of you.”

“I can’t leave you, please don’t make me go.” She begged.

She felt his arms wrapped around her, “I can’t make you but I have to go.”

“Please don’t leave me again. I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can, baby. You can and you will. There is someone that will make you happy. You just have to let him in. Now go and be happy. Remember that I love you and will always be with you.” He said as he began to fade.

“NO! don’t go. Please don’t go! Neil, Neil, don’t leave me!” she screamed as he fade more and more. Derek ran to her and grabbed hold of her. “Let me go, NEIL! Don’t go! Please don’t go. I love you. I need you.”

“Nova come on we need to go, the weather is getting worse.”

“Get YOUR hands off of me.” Without saying another word he swung her over his shoulder and carry her back to the limo as she screamed and kick. He motioned the driver to open the door and threw her inside. She fought like a wild cat to get out.

“Drive!” he yelled to the driver. “Take us back to the house.” It was the longest 20 minute ride he ever had. She screamed at him the whole ride back. When they arrived she jumped out of the car and ran into the house. “You can go. We won’t be needing you any further.” He told the driver as he got out of the car. Taking a deep breath he walked into the house and searched for her. She laid on the bed crying. Slowly he closed the door and left her to mourn Neil.

He woke up  to the howling sounds of the wind blowing  and the rain pouring even harder. He looked over to the clock on the mantel and saw it was 0230 in the morning. He got up and went to check on her.  She shivered in her sleep from being in the cold rain. Quietly he searched her room for sheets and dry clothes. Quickly he picked her up and placed her on the couch in her room. He stripped her bed and changed her bed sheets. He then woke her.

“Nova, you have to get out of these clothes. You’ll get sick.”

“Neil,” was all she could say.

“Yes baby, it’s me Neil. You have to get out of these clothes. You have to get some dry clothes on. Come on,  I’ll help you.” He’d say or be anyone to help her. Quickly he undressed her and helped her put on some dry clothes. He helped her into the bed and covered her. He watched as she slipped back to sleep and gently kissed her on the forehead, leaving her to sleep.

 

 

“How is she?” Sandor asked.

He looked over to where she sat on the couch. “Taking it hard. I need some time off I don’t think she should be alone.”

“Take as much time as you need. Let us know if you need anything. Please send her my condolences.”

“I will, thanks for everything Sandor.” He ended his conversation and sat down to think how he could get her to start living again. For days she would throw on her robe and sit on the couch looking at photos. He made sure that he gave her space, not wanting to intrude in her sadness. Making sure that she kept her strength he made her eat. It caught him off guard when she finally spoke.

“Derek, can you take me to his grave?”

“Huh, um, yeah sure. Anything.” Without another word they were headed to the grave site. On the way they stopped to get flowers. He stayed at the car as she walked to the grave and sat down. She brushed the leaves away and placed the flowers down.

“I miss you.” She finally spoke. “I know that you want me to live on and it’s so hard to do that without you here. I only wish you were here to hold me. I miss you more at night. It’s so hard not to reach out and you aren’t there. I don’t know if I can do this, but I know you want me too. And for you I will. I only wished that I said yes and married you.” She looked over to where Derek stood and then back to the grave. “Derek has been great, he’s been there for me. I’ll come visit every day, I promise.” She placed her finger s on her lips and then on the head stone. “I Love you, I always will.”

It felt warmer for that time of the year. Wildstar looked on as she talked and gave a final kiss to the head stone. Slowly she got up and walked back to where he was. He smiled and asked. “Are you alright?” she nodded her head and wiped the tear from her face. “Do you want to take more time. I can just go for a walk and give you some privacy.”

It was the first time he saw her smile. “No, I’m ready to go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Derek, take me home. I have a lot to do. I need to go through his things.”

 

 

 

 

She began with his closet. Slowly she began to take down his shirts, smelling them as she place them in a box. Derek stood in the door watching. “You don’t have to do this now.”

“I have to. He would’ve want me to get on with my life. I don’t need his things to remind me of him. I have his face in my mind and his love in my heart. Derek, I’ll be okay, you can go. I know you took time off to be here for me. But its time you go back. I promise I’ll be okay.”

“Don’t worry about me, I have all the time in the world for you.”

“Thank you but its time you go back to work. I’ve already call the hospital and told them I’m ready to come back to work. I start in the morning.”

“Don’t you think you should take more time?”

She smiled, “I’ve taken enough time. Now I have to start living again.” She touched his face, “and you have to start living again too. You need to go back to your life. Thank you for everything.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “You have always been there. Now you need to let go and live your life.”

 

 

 

Swinging back to life wasn’t as easy as Nova thought, she cried many nights to sleep for the loss of her love. Derek went back to Great Island and now she was truly alone.  Her job was all she had to keep from losing her sanity. At her superiors request she took a few weeks off to settle Neil’s estate with his teammates. She also went to New York City to see her family. She recalled her mother asking about Neil and she ran out the room crying. Her father was the rock she needed. He kept her busy within his company. Feeling her own self again she returned back to North Carolina Camp Lejeune. She didn’t want to waste time so she spoke to her superior and started the following day she returned. Making the rounds she was happy to know that her favorite patient was due to be release in a few days. Speaking to his doctor he informed her that he was in remission and it looked good. She was over the moon to hear such good news. She saved his room for last in order to spend time with him. She was ready to walk into the room and was surprise to see him sitting on the side of the bed telling him a story about how they managed to reverse the missile that was sent to blow up the Argo. She stood there listening as Jun looked on wide bright eyes as Derek, told his story. By the end of his tale Jun yawn and was ready for bed. Another nurse walked behind her and peeked in and said. “He’s been here every day after dinner telling him stories about his time to Iscandar.”

“How long has he been here?” Nova whispered.

“He started coming about two weeks ago. He asked about you.” She said with envy.

She didn’t hear anything after that. She turned her attention back to what was accruing inside the room.

 

Tucking Jun in bed he felt good to know that the young boy was finally going home. “I’ll stop by tomorrow and check in on you.”

“Can you come see me at home?”

He smiled, “I promise I will come see you at home.  Now get some rest, or else the nurses will be angry with me for visiting so long.” It melted her heart to see him so tender to a child.

“MS. NOVA!” Jun said with cheer.

Derek turned to see her standing at the door and he smiled. “Well hello there. When did you get back?”

She glided into the room and picked up his chart. “I got in last night. Someone tells me that you are going home soon. Well what is a girl to do without such a handsome man to tend to.”

“You can always come and see me at home with captain Wildstar.”

“Hmm, well I will have to see when he can pick me up. Our schedules are so busy we may not see each other to see you. But I will come see you at home to make sure that you are still in remission.”  She gave his chart one last look and said. “You know the Captain is right, you need your sleep. So off to bed you go. I will be here in the morning to check on you.”

“Well little man I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He followed her out and gently grabbed her arm. “Can we talk?”

“Of course. We can talk in the waiting room.”

“Well I was hoping to have dinner and talk.”

She was weary of him. “Um, I don’t know. I was just going home and crawl up with a book and then go to bed.”

“Come on, I promise I’ll have you home early.” He crossed his heart and bow.

She let out a giggle, “fine. But I need to be home by 11 or I will turn into a pumpkin.”

“And you would be the prettiest pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.” She frowned and he quickly said. “I promise madam.”

“Give me a minute to wrap things up with the doctor and then I am all yours.”

 

 

 

It was nice to have conversation with someone other than her parents or co-workers. Derek didn’t mention anything about the funeral and he avoided mentioning Neil’s name. “Do you remember when Doctor Sane was wasted from his special spring water that he was outside walking on Captain Avatars windows.”

“Oh my god I almost forgot about that. I remember Captain Avatar just rolling his eyes and actually laughing. It was one of the rare times I seen him laugh. He was always so serious.”

“Remember when everyone was calling home for the last time? Well it was the first time I didn’t have to explain to anyone about my family. He already knew about my brother and my brother informed him about our parents. It was also the first time I saw him as a father figure and mentor.”

“If he saw you now he would be so proud. You made Captain and are well respected, so I heard. I mean besides all the pictures of you and some girl in the press.”

He frowned, “I rather not talk about my personal life.”

It was her turn to frown. “Sorry, didn’t know you were so sensitive. I mean you weren’t when we were together.”

His high was dropping very quickly as she gave him low blows to his past. “Come on Nov,” she raised her hand and he corrected her name, “sorry, NoVa. I guess we haven’t gotten past that. I was hoping by this time we would have been.” He called the waiter over for the check, “I should take you home before the night turns ugly.” They drove back in silence. She wasn’t sure why she brought things up with him about their past but it slipped out and there was no taking it back. He walked her to her door and turned to go to his car.

“Derek, please wait. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I said. Let me make It up to you. Please come in and I’ll make some coffee.”

“You make coffee? Hmm, the last time you made coffee everyone on ship were bouncing around like jumping beans. They were up for a good 48 hours and we weren’t even in battle.”

“Very funny, I’ve improved with time. I promise, come on in.” he walked in and it was still the same from when he was there last. “Please, make yourself at home. I’ll go make the coffee.” He looked around the living area, contemporary furniture with modern things to accent it all. On the mantel she had a picture of her and Neil somewhere in the desert in an intimate embrace.  It seemed the only picture she had of him. “Coffee is ready.” She saw him staring at the picture, “it was the last photo we took together. We were in New Mexico hiking the mountains.” It was the first time she spoke about him since they saw each other again.

“Nova, if you don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“It’s okay Derek. I’ve made peace with everything. I do still miss him.”  She took the picture from its place and looked at it before placing it back.

“If I didn’t tell you last time, I’m so sorry.”

“He always told me that one day this would happen and I should’ve been more prepared.”

“No one can prepare for something like that. The only reason we were able to deal with it before was because we were at war. It was expected. We knew going would mean not making it back alive.” He touched her face and it felt good to feel her soft skin. “He wanted you to move on and live, not only for you but for him. I know I would have wanted that for you.”

His words touched her heart and for that moment she loved him for being there. “Thank you.  Coffee?”

“I’d drink poison if you offered it.” He said making her laugh.

“I don’t think it will get you that sick.”

He laughed more and they sat down. “So tell me what else have you been up to since I saw you last.”

She took off her shoes, patent leather black pumps, and tossed them on the floor. She crawl her legs under her and sipped on her coffee. “After I came back to work, my supervisor insisted I take some more time off. So I headed back to New York and visited with my parents, but was so ready to comeback as soon as I got there. My father kept me busy enough for the time I was there.  The night I got home I finished packing his things away. I’ll drop them off at a shelter or somewhere.” He could see how heartbroken she was but yet wanted to stay strong and not show anyone how she was hurting. “Enough about me and my sorrows, tell me what you have been up too.”

He spoke with caution. “Um, I don’t know. Will the evil twin Nova come out and scrutinize me?”

“I’m sorry about that. You’re right that is in the past. I have no right judging you now. What happen to us in the past is in the past.”

“Is that why you never married Neil?”

She took deep breath. It was something that she questioned herself. She always knew the truth that it was because of what happened to them in the past. She always kept her shield up when it came to her heart.  “I guess it still stings thinking about what happened with us.” She huffed. “But you’re right it’s in the past. I’ve moved on and so have you.”

“It was a rotten thing I did and I hated myself for it. But it was too late. You’ve already gone and no one knew where you were. I try calling you’re parents but they didn’t give me anything. It took me a long time to finally let go.” And then he said it, “I still love you.” The room was deathly silent before he spoke again. “Sorry, I should go. It’s late and I know you have to work. I hope that we can go out again before I head back to Great Island.”

“I would like that too.” She smiled.

 

 

To Be continued . . . . .

 

Will Wildstar and Nova reconnect after all those years past? Will Nova cave to him once more now that Neil is gone? Read on to see what happens next.