By Larry Copeland
© 2022 by Larry Copeland-all rights reserved
“Chaim, could you help me bring out the appetizers?” Sarah inquired, from out of my sightline, but most definitely from in the kitchen.
“Here I come,” I replied, carefully placing the last challah roll of 10, one at each place setting at our dining room table. The table, I may add, whose two extra leaves I had to drag out of our den closet, grooving the living room carpet, and install in order to accommodate the guests we were expecting for our Purim seudah (festive meal). Our expected guests were two families, each with two children in addition to the parents… the Silverbergs, who lived in the next apartment building over from us… and the Browns, who whose modest, two-story house was about five kilometers west of us.
As I stepped into our narrow kitchen – about two meters across – I spotted the fleet of saucer plates on the counter top in between our two small sinks – the one on the right for dairy utensils and vessels and the left one for meat – a thick slice of gefilte fish from a loaf Sarah had just prepared, a slice each of red pepper, and a baby carrot on each plate. “Hey,” I said to my wife gently. “Do you have any idea of costumes our guests might be wearing when they come over?”
“Well,” Sarah answered quietly, looking away from me for a split-second. “I think Naomi [Mrs. Brown] said they were considering a Star Force motif, actually.” She looked back at me and smirked.
“Really?” I said with a chuckle, a bit incredulous. “That’s really funny.” Of course, the Browns, along with almost everyone else we knew at that point, had no idea that we were actually quite well acquainted with some of the Star Force’s most notable members.
At that moment, our doorbell rang. Here are the first guests, I thought, while grabbing a couple of the appetizer plates for placement on the dining room table. “I’ll get it,” I muttered while concentrating intently on the two little plates in my hands. Any mishaps involving the carefully placed appetizers would result in serious dissatisfaction from Sarah – not to mention a mess on the floor – so this mission was one I had to carry out successfully (npi).
Thankfully, the appetizer plates reached their destinations without incident, and I proceeded on in the direction of the front door, as the doorbell rang for a second time. “Coming!” I yelled, so that our guests wouldn’t start wondering if their hosts had abandoned them. Upon opening the door, I saw that it was, in fact, the Brown family, and greeted them with a wide smile. “Freilichen Purim!”
***
The Browns had indeed come dressed in Star-Force themed costumes. The husband and father, Mordy, wore a pretty good knockoff Star Force red-on-white uniform (top and pants) along with a really funny, messy toupee meant to imitate Wildstar’s unruly hair. This was even more funny given, Mordy’s seriously receding natural blond hairline. Mrs. Brown had somehow gotten a hold of a perfect replica white EDF HQ uniform with a skirt, which she wore along with a slightly shaggy honey-blonde wig, obviously going as Nova.
We had just finished the appetizer course – and Mordy and I had each just finished our second glass of a surprisingly good Japanese kosher chardonnay Sarah had spotted last week in the local kosher supermarket – when there were three, unexpected, loud knocks coming from the front door.
“You expecting company, Chaim?” Mordy asked a bit clumsily, exhibiting a bit of a buzz.
“Uh, no Mordy,” I replied from my place at the head of the dining room table, chuckling. “Should I be?”
“Nah… I’m just asking,” he said smiling, with a hint of a slur in his speech. “I’ll get it for you,” he offered, starting to dismount from his chair.
Seeing my guest’s slight, but obvious level of intoxication, I moved quickly out of my chair and tried to intercept him before he could potentially embarrass himself, or me. Maybe I was feeling a bit of a buzz myself – because as I tried to step past the sofa in the living room, on the way to the front door, my foot just slightly clipped its short, squat leg, and I went off balance sufficiently to land in a sitting position on the floor next to Mordy.
Seeing his host in such an untoward position, he looked down, rolled his eyes, and said to me, “Yeah Chaim, I think I should get this one for you.” So, before I could haul myself back on two feet, he opened the front door. Suffice to say, Admiral Derek Wildstar coming face to face his own imprecise doppelganger was not what anybody had in mind when he first knocked at the door.
The real Nova squeezed past Derek and Mordy at the door and
came face to face with her own doppleganger in Naomi Brown and introduced
herself after raising her eyebrows a little. “Commander Nova Wildstar, ma’am.
Nice job on your costume. Your name, please?”
Naomi just stammered before Nova just graciously gave her a handshake and then
said. “Very nice costume. However, you forgot my rank pips above my pocket and
the scarf needs to tuck in a little better…like this,” she said gently as she
readjusted Naomi’s ascot. “And may I straighten your wig a little? It should
hang a little in your eye…just so.”
“I’m…Naomi Brown…Thank…thank you,” said Naomi, utterly flabbergasted that the real Nova had just gently fixed her costume, and she was also a little shocked at the calm, radiant air that came from her in person which wasn’t quite captured on any video screen.
After Derek finished helping me up, he gave Nova one of those meaningful glances and turned to Mordy. “Your name, sir?”
“Uh…Mordy Brown?” he said, himself shocked at how young the real Commodore Derek Wildstar looked in person, and that his uniform seemed…so crisp…obviously tailored. “Sir…I’m sorry…the costume…”
“No offense taken. Nova and I are perfectly fine with that.”
I sighed a big sigh of relief and provided what I figured was a necessary explanation. “Wildstar, Nova – about the costumes – it’s traditional to dress in costume on Purim because G-d orchestrated events in a disguised fashion for years until culminating in the Jews’ salvation in Shushan. By the way, it’s great to see you again! What brings you by? …”
***
By 10 minutes later, things were closer to normal… “Having a big festive meal is one of the main observances of Purim, Wildstar,” I explained. “And we drink more wine than usual because of the role that wine had in G-d’s saving us from Haman’s evil plot.”
I was prepared for a retort as Nova began to speak, but, as usual, she was…gracious. “I’m quite afraid I wouldn’t, Derek. We need all of our wits about us in battle,” she said with a smile. “Sarah, where did you get this Chardonnay from? I have to serve it myself sometime!”
Then, for the first time ever, I heard Nova Wildstar giggling a little. Was the wine going to her head?
Mordy was still a bit star-struck: “Wow, Desslok?” is all he could muster.
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