Letters of Regret

Part 8

By Yuki Wildstar

14^thof October, 2225

Secluded Island in the Pacific

The rain didn’t seem to let up. They were both stuck inside the bungalow with no choice but to stare at each other. Derek would talk about nothing as she sat on the bed fuming to be stuck there with him. She took hold of a paper and tried to avoid him. He jumped on the bed and grabbed another section of the paper then gave her a kiss on the cheek. She felt her body blush as his lips touched her cheek. His scent was intoxicating. The warmth of his breath made her want him. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Damn him! He’s doing it to me again. “Where are the children?” she asked changing the mood.

“Miku is with Denise and Marisa. DJ and Mark are with Yvey. And you know that Yvey and DJ are having a blast flying. Guess with Dee away in college she has someone to actually fly with,” was the extent of their conversation.  Each day he would talk to her hoping that she would come around. On their third day was the only time they had a break from the rain and she took the chance of going for a walk on the beach while he watched from the distances. The rain would come as quickly as it left so she would have to run back to the room. He would wait as she came in with a towel to dry off. It started with a simple thank you and good morning. She would smile when he held out the chair for her and laughed when he did something funny, especially when he got conked on the head with a coconut. She couldn’t stop laughing to see him drop to the ground from the impact. She walked over to him and checked his pulse and head, he’s fine just knock out, she thought. It began to rain again so she ran into the room and grabbed hold of the sheet and covered him. She walked back laughing hysterically leaving him there in the rain. By the fifth day she began to let her guard down and he suggested that she get a massage. “I want her to start with a manicure then a facial. I want the massage last so that way I can take over. Now remember start face up first that way she won’t know.”

“Yes sir.”

Walking back into the room Derek told her that they were ready for her. “Have a good time. I’ll just take a long walk on the beach. Try to relax.” He lean in and tried kissing her on the lips but she turned her head. He grabbed a towel and left them to pamper his wife.

He walked back and forth on the beach looking at the bungalow to see if they were almost done. Beginning to walk back he finally saw the masseuse come out and wave him over. A smile came on his face as he hurried back.

“I told her I need more liquid.” She told him. “Here she like’s this one.”

“Thank you.” He took the lotion and went into the bungalows bathroom. It was dark and soothing. The sound of calming music played in the back ground as the candles burn releasing a sweet smell of fruit. He squeezed some lotion on his hand and began to rub the lotion on her leg. He worked his hands softly up and down squeezing gently on her toes. He heard her sigh as he worked on her other leg and smiled that she was enjoying it. Slowly he moved the blanket from her back and massaged her back and arms. She drifted into ecstasy as his hands worked her body over not knowing it was him. She was brought to reality when the timer went off. She could feel his breath on her neck and then heard his voice whispered in her ear. “Mrs. Wildstar your time is up. Is there anything else you would like for me to do?” she turned to see him standing over her smiling.

“Was that you all this time?” she said.

“Just this part of it. Well did you like it? I hope I wasn’t too bad.”

“No, no you were just fine. Thank you. I’ll be right out.” She held the blanket close to her naked chest and sat up.

He step closer to her and brought her face up to look at him. “Let’s stop playing games, I love you and I am trying my best to make things work. Can we at least talk about it all? I’m here and I went through a lot to set this up. I am willing to even give you up if you’re not happy after our two weeks. But I don’t want to let you go. Look you told me after I gave you those letters that you weren’t going to give up on us. That we were stuck together no matter what so please let’s work this out.” He leaned down and kissed her passionately on the lips. Something she hadn’t allowed him to do in a while. Her heart beat faster feeling his lips on her. He pulled away and she took hold of his shirt and brought him closer to her again. She held him tight as he moved his hands down her back removing the blanket from her. “I love you,” he whispered into her ear.

“I love you too.” She whispered back.

He picked her up and brought her into the room and placed her on the bed. He was gentle and loving like on their honeymoon. “So do I have to turn myself in for kidnapping?” he said making her giggle. “On a serious note, why didn’t you ever tell me about getting your tubes tied? Did you think that I would see you differently?”

“I don’t know, you talked about having another baby and I didn’t want to say anything and start a fight. It’s a decision I made because we were getting divorced and at the time I didn’t know who Miku’s father was. Plus to be a single mother with four kids was enough. I really thought we were never getting back together. I’m really sorry I told you that way, I was angry and wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

He pulled her closer and kissed her on the forehead. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve given me four great kids and my life is full with you and them. I’m sorry that I was cold and distant throughout the whole thing. I should have been there for you. Thank you for making me wake up as to how wrong I was. Giving me those papers was a hell of wake up call. I really thought you were serious.”

“Um Derek, I was serious.” She looked at him with a straight face that sent a chill down his back. “And I’m still serious.” She noted as she got up to go to the bathroom.

“Excuse me? Still serious? But what about what just happened? I thought that we…?”

“See there you go assuming that once we slept together that all is well. Well it’s not. I’m still filing for divorce. Just be grateful that I’m not pressing charges for kidnapping me.”

“Okay is this a joke, right, cause I’m not laughing.” He said sitting up on the bed.

“It’s not a joke Derek. This is only a temporary fix. You and I both know that we can never move forward from what happened. I only wish that we could but I know we can’t.” she looked back and saw his face, “please don’t look at me like that. I still love you; I just can’t live with you.”

“This is not what I was hoping for when we go back home. I was kind of hoping that we can just talk and move on.”

“We can talk. I have no problem in talking. And I have no problem in moving on. I just can’t live with you. You’ve hurt me too much and my trust is no longer there. Don’t get me wrong Derek, I trust you with my life, but not with my heart. I just can’t live with the thought of you walking out the door every day and wondering if there is someone else you are going to be with. Don’t look so surprised; you should have known that this was coming sooner or later. On the bright side you can actually go and do as you like with anyone else. Just not me.” She stood in front of him and smiled. She gently touched his face and said. “I’m not leaving you for Michael. So you can put your mind at ease. Actually, I wasn’t even thinking of dating. My priority is Miku and the boys. So you won’t have to worry about seeing me in the paper with anyone else. I have no intentions to date or remarry. You are and will always be the love of my life. You have been my hero, my lover, and my friend. But now it’s just time to throw in the towel and move on. I need to be happy Derek; you do want me to be happy?”

“Of course I do. But I can’t live without you.”

She gave a giggle and smiled. “Yes you can. You’ve lived without me so many times. On your trip to Zazba on so many other missions I wasn’t there. The only thing is that when you get back from a mission I won’t be there to greet you home. Maybe Alex and he may bring Mark, DJ and Miku, just not me.” She felt a tear escape her eye and she wiped it away. “I’m sorry you went through all this to win me back. But I made up my mind. Once we get back I’m going ahead with the divorce.”

Holy shit, I can’t believe this! He thought. She is really serious about this. What am I going to do? He sat there and thought. It’s the only thing I haven’t done. He got up and put his hands on her shoulder and said. “If that is what you want. Then I will let you go. I want you to be happy. I still love you and I will always love you. You and the kids will always be first priority in my life. I can scream, cry and beg but it never helped before. Maybe if I just let you go you will see that I love you enough to let you go and be happy.” He held her in his arms and held back his tears. How he loved her and she was leaving him yet again. “I will need time to find a place and then we have to tell the kids. Oh shit, Miku, this is going to upset her a lot. How are we going to handle that?”

“We will make the transition easy for her. We can still live in the same house until you find some place and then we can move your things out little by little. Of course you can come and see the kids anytime you want. We can still have family dinners and do everything together. You and I just can’t live together anymore. Cheer up Derek, I am finally okay with you seeing other women. You don’t have to worry about wondering if I will find out or hurting me. I’m letting you go.” She forced a smile on for him.

“Stop it! Stop talking like that.  There was nothing going on with those women only my mistake with her. Those other women thought that I wanted them but I never did. It was you I loved. It was you I wanted, no one else. I love you. I want to stay married.”

Her eyes soften and she smiled at him. “I love you too. But it can never be the same with us. This is the only way I can move on and be happy. God I love you Derek. I can never see myself with anyone else but you. You are everything to me. But I need to be happy.” She kissed him softly on the lips as a tear rolled down his cheek. “We are better apart. Hey come on, we will still be living together for a while before you move out totally. And I wouldn’t turn you away if you want to make love. It will work this way.” She wiped the tears from his face and kissed him one more time. “So we have one more week here together?” she asked. He nodded his head and she grinned at him. “We shouldn’t let it go to waste. Why don’t we pick up where we left off?”

“Are you serious? You still want me to sleep with you after you told me you still want a divorce?” He shook his head and smacked it hard. “I think that damn coconut hit too hard. I’m confused, you still want to make love but yet you still want a divorce. How does this work again because I am not getting it?” He said.

“Well it seems that us in bed is just prefect it’s everything else that doesn’t work for us.” She said. “So what do you say? Another round?” she grinned her mischievous look at him.

“I, I, um, yeah I guess.” He scratched his head. “This seems weird and wrong for some odd reason.”

“Oh stop acting like you won’t enjoy it. Now come back to bed.” She purred.

19^th of October, 2225

They made their way back from the beach hand and hand. They taledk a lot in the past days as they clear the air between them. “My life is an opened book for you. I will never keep a secret or lie to you ever. So ask me anything.” He told her as they walked on the beach one day. With that he told her everything that she wanted to know and things she didn’t ask about. He was truthful with her knowing that he already lost her. He turned to her and said, “You never asked me why.”

“Why? I don’t understand. Asked you why about what?”

“Why I slept with her.” He told her.

“I don’t want to know, it’s not important anymore.” She stared straight ahead as they walked back to the bungalow.

“Well I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s a new me and I want to be honest with you. No more holding anything back.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’d rather not know, Derek.”

“Listen, when I was away, I tried calling the house. I missed you so much I just wanted to see and hear your voice. DJ answered that day. When I asked for you he told me that you were in the room with Spada. Before he could tell me more we were cut off. I tried so hard to get you that night. My mind wonder as to why he was there and why DJ would tell me that he was in the room with you. He told me that he had been there for days which even drove me crazier. All I could think of is him there with you and my kids. I was angry and depress and well one thing lead to another with her. I finally got through a few days later and Yvey answered the phone. She told me that you haven’t been feeling well and that not only she and Spada have been taking care of you but Denise and a few other friends helped with the kids. I only wish I had known, but I just assumed the worst in you and knowing Spada I knew that he would use any opportunity to be with you. I only wish I had got through sooner.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Derek. It’s long gone and we need to move on. At least I have to move on to a happier life.” She looked away and thought of all the wonderful times they had. She wanted to block all the bad things in their life and just remember their marriage as happy.

“Nov, just know that I never ever wanted to hurt you and I love you. I won’t fight you on the divorce if that’s what you want then I will agree to it. I want to stay civil for the kids’ sake and you’ve always been my best friend. I hope that we can stay that way.” He told her.

“Me too,” she told him and kiss him on the cheek.

2^nd of November, 2225

“So she is actually going through with it.” She asked him with a smile.

“Yeah all that effort was for nothing but at least we are talking more and we are actually seeing each other in another light. I guess I can be a little naive when it comes to women and their intentions. I let the stupid part of my brain take control and she suffered. You know Fi, if I could turn back time I would never had left for the year. We would have been past everything, never divorced and who knows maybe working on baby number 5. I hate everything I did to her and my kids.”

“How is Alex and the kids dealing with it?” she asked.

“He seems to be doing well, but I can see the anger in his eyes. He blames me for all of it and he is right. It is my fault. If I didn’t go away she would have never slept with him and we would have never gone through that whole custody thing.” He looked over his desk and glanced at a picture of her with the kids. “I still love her. I could never love anyone else like I do her.”

“Have you found a place yet?”

“No nothing. I’m still looking around. At least she is allowing me to take my time and isn’t pushing me out the door.” He looked at his clock and realized it was almost time to go. “It’s getting late. We can finish up all this stuff tomorrow. Well, looks like our time together is coming to a close too. Where are you heading to after here?”

“I’m finally heading out to space. Omega 13!” she said. “They’re sending me to a new project out there with a building. Hey, how about dinner one night this week to celebrate?”

“You know Nov and I got a lot of stuff out in the open and I really don’t want to rock the boat just yet.”

She stepped closer to him and he could feel the warmth of her body next to him. “Derek, maybe now is a good time we try a go at it.”

His body blushed red and quickly walked away. “See this is one of those times that stupid part of my brain takes over and says sure why not? But I’m a little older, a little wiser and heck of lot smarter. I do appreciate that you still find me attractive and some men would jump at the opportunity of going to bed with you. Buuuuuttt, I need to get my own life together before I start moving forward. It’s not going to be easy to walk away from my wife and kids. We haven’t told DJ, Mark or Miku and that’s going to kill me when we tell Miku. She is the one that will be destroyed over this.”

“When are you going to tell them?”

“We are still talking about it. Maybe after the divorce is finalized. We have to ease Miku into it.”

“I see, so will I be seeing this new bachelor pad once you find one?”

“See there you go coming on to me again.”

“A girl has to try. Don’t you know that you are a great catch and Nova doesn’t know that?”

“If I was such a great catch my wife wouldn’t be leaving me, AGAIN. So I must have done something wrong. Anyway I still can hope that she changes her mind before the due date.”

“And when will that be?”

“Still working on that too,” he said then realized the time. “We should go. I promised I’d be home early for dinner with the kids.”

She snapped her finger and said. “Damn I did hope you would change your mind and have dinner with me.” She winked at him.

“Enough already, I know that you will find someone soon. Hey you know my friend Heero runs Omega 13. Maybe you two can have dinner once you get there. He really is a nice guy and I know for a fact that he is still single. I think you would like him.”

She frowned at him and said. “I remember him, he practically call me a hooker.”

“He would never say anything like that. He was just concerned about you, that’s all. He thought you were drop dead gorgeous. So how about it? Just give him another chance. He is really nice.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll have my assistant email you his information. Just give him a call. You have to meet with him sooner or later. He is the guy to see when you go there. He is like the Desslok of Omega 13.” Derek grabbed his coat and helped her out the door heading home.

3^rd of November, 2225

Nova smiled at him and he went on about the day. “Well looks like I’ll be heading out again at the end of next month. What will you do without me?”

“I think I can handle things here just fine, Michael. You know you’re not the only doctor on Great Island. I will have plenty of work to keep from missing you,” she said with sarcasm.

“Seriously Nova, aren’t you going to miss me?”

“I will miss you, okay.” She rolled her eyes and blew a piece of hair from her face. “How is Nicole, I bet she is happy that you’re coming down.”

“She sure is. I thought that she would be upset with everything between us but she wasn’t.”

“She’s a special lady, your very lucky. You need to marry her and quick.”

“Hmm, well I’m still a little jilted so getting me down the aisle is going to take time. So have you two filed yet?” Since the battle for custody of Miku ended Michael and Nicole decided to wait to walk down the aisle. He needed to rethink his feelings for Nicole. Seeing Nova again brought back all the feelings he always had for her and the thought of Miku of being their daughter he wanted to see if the cards would fall into place.

“No we are not in a rush. We have to think of the kids, especially Miku.”

“You’re not in a rush? That’s strange, because the last time you rushed it like it was the end of civilization. What is really the hold up?”

“I was pregnant last time.”

“Come on Nova, I know you a little better than that. Your thinking twice aren’t you?”

“No I’ve already made up my mind. Yes I love him, but I can’t live thinking every time he walks out the door will there be someone else or will there be another bomb shell waiting to explode with some damn secret he has been keeping.” She gazed past him and smile. “He is a great dad I have to give him that. He’s been so predictable now. He comes home on time no matter what. He plays with Miku and helps the boys with their homework. We actually talk. He tells me about his day and working with Fiona. He told me that she came on to him again but he set her straight or at least that’s what he told me. He gave her his friends email over in Omega 13. I guess he hopes that they will make a love connection. Anyway, at least he has been honest and straight forward about things.”

“Well that’s good. It’s obvious that he is still in love you.” He said.

“And you know this how?”

“We had lunch together a few days ago. We ran into each other down town at a meeting. At first I thought he was going to take a swing at me. I figured with all that happened and the divorce he would blame me for everything but he was really calm and nice. We had a really long talk that day. He actually made some jokes and we laughed. I couldn’t believe he was the same man.”

“You AND Derek had lunch. You AND My husband sat down and had a conversation?  Well this is something that he kept a secret. He must have thought that I would blow up and accuse him of starting something. What did you two talk about?” she asked with suspicion.

“Don’t worry we weren’t talking about who you thought was better in bed. Even we agree that is a little secret between you two. Not only that, it’s just plain rude. We talk about the custody and Miku. How great of a mother you are. We talked about Alex and the academy and college. How DJ seems to be a hand full. But he has calmed down a bit. Something about you giving him a good talking to.” He said and she giggle of the day that she set him straight. “Plus when Alex came back from the states. I asked him about how he is dealing with the divorce and separation. He told me that you two are still living together and sleeping together in the same bed. Don’t you think that’s a little awkward? I mean it’s confusing to him that you want out yet you are still sleeping with him.”

“I thought you two weren’t talking about our sex life?”

“You know what I mean. It’s just not fair to him to string him along.”

“He chose to stay. I keep asking him if he found something yet but he keeps telling me no. Anyway I just can’t see myself with anyone else. And I don’t plan on seeing anyone. Right now the kids are more important.”

“At one time I thought you could see yourself with me.”

She blushed thinking of their time together and said. “It was one of the best times in my single life. But I am still married and you’re engaged to be married. I don’t want to be the other woman. I didn’t like it when it was done to me and I wouldn’t do that to anyone else. I’d rather be alone before I break up any relationship.”

“A true lady.” He said. “Anyway he expressed his love for you and I can see it in his face and eyes. He is really not ready to let you go, but to make you happy he is willing to end it. He is praying that you would change your mind and work it out. Nova,” he reached out and touched her hand. “I know that it was a tough time as to what I put you two through, but can’t you reconsider on taking him back?”

“I thought that you would be glad that we are separating. This is what you’ve always wanted.”

“I thought so too, but after talking to him I can see that he truly loves you. He never stopped loving you. He admits to being wrong on how he handled things. He put you through a lot with the custody not to mention all the other crap. He only wished that you would give him another chance.”

“I gave him more than enough chances. Every time something always seems to come out. Only now is he completely honest with me.”

“That’s because he knows that he’s lost you. There’s nothing to hide anymore. He doesn’t have to worry about hurting you anymore. I don’t think that there are any more surprises. Not like we’ve become BFF’s but I know he wants to move forward. He actually admitted to me that if there would be someone else in your life it would be me. He said that I was great with the kids and Alex at one point respected me. Guess when all this custody came out with Miku he wasn’t happy and I lost a little of his respect, but I expected that. He told me the reason why he hated me was because I love you as much as he does and it scared the hell out of him. I think you should give him another chance, Nova.”

She smiled and thought it was sweet that he was batting for her husband. “I’ll take what you said into consideration. But I still think this is the best thing to do. I love him but for once in my life I need to be me and be happy.”

“Well I tried. Just think about it before you two sign those papers. Please promise me that you will, okay?”

“I promise.” She said.

“Good, cause it’s no fun trying to steal you away from him if you’re divorced.” He joked.

20^th of November, 2225

EDF Headquarters

Admiral Derek Wildstar’s Office

“I see, alright, I can leave in a week.” Wildstar talked into his phone. “I understand. Yes sir, I will be there. Goodbye.” Wildstar said then hung up the phone. “Seiji!” he called out of his office.

Seiji ran in and snapped to attention. “Yes, sir!”

“For god sake, relax. You don’t have to do that all the time.” Wildstar rolled his eyes at him. “Make flight arrangements for this Friday to San Diego and cancel all my appointment for the rest of the day. I’m going home.” He ordered then closed his briefcase and headed out the door. He drove home thinking of how he was going to break the news to Nova. Not like she is going to care, they were just getting along with each other. He just wanted more time with her before they finally signed the divorce papers. As long as they didn’t sign them he had more time with her as husband and wife. He pulled up to the house and took a deep breath before entering. Here goes nothing he thought. He walked in and placed his things away then made his way to find his wife. She was sitting on the porch taking in the cold air. He walked up behind her and blocked her sun making her look up.

“What are you doing here so early?” she asked.

“I was just missing you that’s all.”

“Bull shit Derek, what’s going on?” she asked with suspicion.

“Nothing ever escapes you.” He kneeled down next to her and said. “I have to go to San Diego Friday for a few weeks. Sorry, but It’s important.”

“Okay, and this means what to me?”

“Wow, don’t sound so excited.”

“I’m sorry.” She laughed. “What’s going on over there that they need you?”

“The ships that are being built there aren’t coming out in the best condition so I have to go see who is dropping the ball.”

“I’ve been hearing rumors about the ships not passing our inspection. What do you think is going on?”

“Their cutting corners and I want to know where the money is going.” He said in anger.

“Do you want me to look over the invoices?”

His eyes softened and he knew that she would find something in the invoices. “That would be great. I’ll have Seiji send them over. When are we going to see the lawyers?” He told her. “I’m going to miss you.”

“It doesn’t matter. We can wait until you get back. How long do you think they will take to crack?” She asked.

“Well it all depends on what you find. It would be nice to go in there with ammo. Will you miss me?”

She smiled and looked away. “The kids will miss you.”

“I’m not asking about the kids, I’m asking about you.”

“I will miss you.” She blushed.

“Hey, why don’t you come with me?”

“I don’t think so or have you forgotten that our kids are in school.” She told him.

“Listen your Thanksgiving is coming up and it would be nice to have our last Thanksgiving together before we sign those papers.” He pressed.

“Hmm, I’ll think about it. I think their education is a little more important then Thanksgiving in the states. And have you forgotten that DJ is just getting back on track.” She said. “Anyway maybe this is the perfect time to start detaching ourselves from each other. You can go over there and who knows find someone else. You might fall in love again. A lot can happen in a few weeks.”

“Are you telling to go and find someone? Is there something you should tell me? Have you found someone already?” he asked looking sad.

“No Derek, I haven’t found someone else. I’m not looking to replace you. I have to get my act together first before I think about being with someone else. Anyway, what man will be able to take what you will dish out to them about me and the kids. You are too protective of us and you will chase anyone that comes near us. So no I’m not looking for anyone or am seeing anyone right now.”

He grinned knowing she was right. He would be difficult to anyone that was dating her. Not any man would be good enough for her and his children. He would make himself present at all times, especially with Miku. “I need to think this out too. Maybe your right, maybe me going over there would help me detach myself, but I doubt it very much. It’s all business while I’m there, I’m not going there to look for a wife when I have you here. No one can ever replace you.” He lean in and kissed her. “Why don’t we go get something to eat before the kids come home?”

“I have something else better in mind.” She lifted her eye brow and smiled.

“I guess that’s all I am wanted for around here.”

“Oh stop complaining.” She huffed. “Very well let’s go eat then.” She rolled her eyes and walked back into the house. “I don’t see why you feel like you’re being used. I still love you, I just can’t live with you. It doesn’t matter whether we sleep with each other or not. I have needs too, I just don’t feel like putting myself out there yet. But if you don’t want to then fine!”

“I never said I didn’t want to sleep with you. I just thought that if you want us to detach ourselves from each other sleeping is not going to do it.” He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her closer. “I just want you to make sure that this is what you want.”

“My mind is made up. Once you get back we will sign the papers and you can go on with your life.” She gave him a peck on the nose and went to get her coat.

24^th of November, 2225

San Diego Naval Base Station

EDF Battleship Avatar

Main Bridge

Wildstar looked around as the technicians work on the many consoles that were installed on the main bridge. It infuriated him that this ship was going to be named after his mentor and he wasn’t about to let them install low grade products. He stood in the center of the bridge holding plans as the manager of the contract company stood next to him going over them. “As you can see Admiral Wildstar these are top quality equipment.”

“Well if they were top quality why are most of our ships being return to port for repairs before they even make it to space. I have spoken to Fujisuto head man and he also agreed that they have sent the proper parts and the ones that are being put in the ships are not theirs. Now I have seen the invoices and the amount and product just don’t add up. There are some discrepancies to the amount that is being paid out. Sooner or later I will find out so if you have any idea as to what is going on and I suggest that you tell me now or find out who is. Either way we will be pulling out of our contract at the end of the month. In which time we will file suit for re-imbursement with the International Federation Council.”

“I will inform my bosses but I don’t think that they will take kindly to threats.”

“Mr. Lewis I don’t make threats I simply make promises that I follow through with.” Wildstar said. He then walked to each panel and looked over the work. He pointed out a few more mistakes and then headed to the engine room. Looking over the main core of the engine room he began to make notes as to what need to be replaced with the correct parts. With each replacement part he wrote down his anger grew. It didn’t help that he missed his family, especially his wife at night He called them ever night and begged her to come see him for the states holiday. He threw himself into his work trying to forget how he missed them. “I’ll make the call to the company and have them send the parts over ASAP. In the mean time I want you to have them make a check on all radar equipment. I will be checking them first thing in the morning.” He commanded and walked out to go to his room at the Officer’s Quarters Host House. Because of his high rank it was the top suite that over looked the ocean front. He felt like he did the first time he took control of the Endeavor, it was way to extravagant. The room would be great for him and his family but for just one person was way too much. He asked for a smaller room but they informed him that they were book solid and the room was only reserve for High ranking officers, diplomats and alien royalty. Great for Deslock if he came down to see me but this is just not me.  He walked into the lobby of the hotel and went to check on his messages. Something he does when he is away. He made sure that he was in constant contact with his office back on Great Island.

“Good Evening Admiral, here are your messages and there is a Mrs. Adelson waiting to speak to you. She’s in the bar waiting.” The receptionist said. He made his way to the bar and the hostess pointed her out. She sat at the bar wearing an off the shoulder beige shirt with black skirt. He notice she was very beautiful with a California tan.

“Mrs. Adelson? Hi I’m Admiral Derek Wildstar.” He stood in front of her and put out his hand to shake it.

“Derek! Hello It’s been a long time!” she jumped off the chair and hugged him. His mind began to race fast as to how he knew her.  

“I’m sorry, have we met before?” He asked hoping it wasn’t one of the many floozies he dated in New York.

“You don’t remember, do you? For god sakes you were at my wedding with David. Commander David Adelson! You gave a speech and then sang with Nova. SO how is she? Where is she, I thought that you two were attached to the hip.”

Derek thought back and remembered a Commander Adelson from Washington DC when he was flying back and forth from New York. At the time they were divorced but dating again. “Tiffany?”

“The one and only! SO you do remember us?” She giggled.

“Wow yeah, hi, how are you? You look different.” He said.

“Oh I just changed my hair color to blonde. I have to mix in with the women here.”

“It looks good on you. How is David? Where is he now?”

“He’s over in Hawaii for a year. I just came back to see things here at the house. I’m going back tomorrow. He heard you were here and wanted me to stop by and say hello. So Hello!” she giggled.

His eyes laughed at her and he asked. “How long has it been?”

“Gosh too long. SO where is Nova? I heard you two remarried. I’m so glad for you two. You make a great couple. How are the kids?”

“She’s still back in Great Island with the kids. Alex is in college and the twins are in the academy. Miku is in school too.”

“Oh my, they are growing up. Alex is in college, wow. I bet he’s knocking out those girls. He has your great looks, he must be a heart throb.” She said making him grin and blushed. “It’s a shame Nova isn’t here. We could had lunch or something. Anyway, David needs a favor. He’s been trying to get back to Great Island for some promotion and wanted to know if there is a form to put in.”

“Well that has to come from his superiors but I think I have the file your talking about upstairs in my room. He can look it over and if he has any question he can call me anytime. Come on.” He said as they walked to the elevators. “You know he could’ve called me for anything.”

“Well you know David he isn’t much to ask for favors. But with his new CO it’s been trying.”

“Something I need to know.” He asked.

“Well, he doesn’t want to bring you into it but I told him he should. See his new CO happens to be his ex-fiancé’s father. And well,”

“I see, I’ll look into it. What is his ex-fiancé father’s name?”

“Um, Captain Robert Waylett.” She cringed at the name. Wildstar looked at her and the name rang high on his bell. He heard many things he didn’t care to hear about the man. He was a tyrant when it came to his man, especially his officers. It reminded him of Stone when he was in charge while Singleton was in a coma. Something he wanted to address once he was threw with this mishap. He personally made a note to stop by on the way back home to Hawaii. “What, you look like you heard something.”

“There have been rumors.” He said when the doors opened. He guided her towards his room as they talked about her husband’s dilemma. Turning the door to open he heard someone yell out surprise. He stood there shock to see his wife and kids in the middle of the room. Miku ran into her father’s arm while Nova stared at him with suspicion. “Nova! My god what are you all doing here?” he smiled wide and then saw the look on her face. Quickly he pulled his friends wife in and said. “You remember Joyce Adelson, David Adelson’s wife? She stopped by to say hi and pick up some papers. Wow this is a surprise.” He pulled at his collar and hope that she didn’t think something was up.

Nova watched as he walked into the room with a blonde woman and instantly became jealous to know that he was moving on quickly. Here she was encouraging him to see others and now she regretted ever telling him that. She thought hard to come out to the states. It was a time for her to detach herself from him but the kids kept bugging her to go see their father. So she took leave from the hospital and they flew out to have Thanksgiving with him. She wasn’t prepared to see him walk through the door with someone, let alone a woman. “Hello,”

Joyce ran towards her and gave her a hug as she kissed the air around her face. “Nova it’s so good to see you again! My god you look stunning as always.”

“I, I,um.” She said looking at Derek confused. She prided herself in remembering everyone she met but she couldn’t remember for the life of her who she was. Derek quickly informed her who she was.

“We went to their wedding in Washington DC. You remember the statutes that looked like GODS.” He said. It was a joke to them about the naked statutes she had at the wedding cut out of ice. Nova joked about what would melt first.

“Oh Joyce!” she looked back at Derek and he pointed to his head. “You’ve changed your hair color. It looks great on you. How are you? How is,” she looked at Derek again and he mouth David. “David?”

“He’s great but we are trying to head to your neck of the woods.” She looked at the kids and noticed that there were bags sitting in the room.  “Did you all just get in?” she asked.

“About two hours ago.” Nova announced.

“Oh my, it must have been a long flight. You all must be exhausted. Anyway, I should go. We should do lunch sometime Nova.  Admiral those papers you wanted to give to David?”

“Yes, give me a second.” He said. He ran to the office and snatched up the papers ran back, handing them over and escorting her out the door. He turned and smiled at her and the kids. “This is a really big surprise, come here.” He opened his arms as Miku ran back into his arms and DJ and Mark shook his hand then hugged him. He saved the best for last as he walked over to his wife and took hold of her in his arms. “Come here you. This is the best surprise ever. Thank you for coming. I was missing all of you guys.”

Later that Night they sat in the living area while the kids slept from the long journey there. He put his arm around her shoulder and brought her closer to him. “Thank you for coming. It was really a nice surprise. I really thought that you wouldn’t come.”

“Well I really wasn’t coming. But the kids missed you so much and Miku just kept bugging me to come see her father.” She looked away and changed the subject. “So she was a surprise, I wasn’t expecting to see another woman here with you.”

“Come on Nov, give me credit. I’m not ready to see anyone else. She was here just to get those papers. As a matter of fact, I have to go to Hawaii and see about one of my officers.”

“Hawaii, what’s going on there?”

“I’ve been hearing some negative things about a certain Captain there. I think it’s time to check things out.”

“Oh, that doesn’t sound good at all.”

“How long are you staying?”

“Only a week. The kids will have to make up their work for school. Pesci is going to send everything to me tonight. Have you managed to find out what was going on?”

“They have been replacing the original parts with low grade parts. I believe they are selling the original parts on the black market to make a profit. I’m pulling the contract at the end of the month, I’ve already talked to Sandor and he agrees. I’ll be sending Dash and Delvicho here to replace me. I can trust those two to make sure things will be done right.”

“Delvicho, now that’s going to be interesting. He is just going to have fun chasing all the women here. It’s just prefect for him. All the plastic women to choose from.” Nova laughed at her comment.

“Well broken hearts is not my forte. I can trust him to get the job done. His love life is all on him. Dash will have fun also considering he just finished with wife number three. Sometimes I wonder about his choices in women. If they giggle at everything he says should paint of picture of how smart they are. It’s like he hooks up with air heads.” Derek smiled. “Anyway I can trust them to do their job and stay on task.”

She yawned and closed her eyes. “it was a long flight I should get some sleep. The kids want to see San Diego and DJ wants to go to Miramar and case out the area.” She said quoting him.

Derek laughed, his son could be persistent at times. “He still has to show me his grades and keep them.” He got up and held out his hand for her to take. “Come on, its late.”

“Which room am I taking?” she asked.

“Which room? The one I am sleeping in is the one you’re sleeping in.”

“Derek, let’s not fight, I’ll take the one at the end of the hall.” She said and was shocked when he picked her up and brought her to his room. “DEREK!”

“I’m not fighting with you. I’ve missed you so much. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sleep here knowing you are only a few feet away. Anyway you told me that you would never turn me down.” He said then threw her on the bed in his room. “Well I’m glad that they didn’t have a smaller room.” He laid down next to her and kissed her. “You know this is really confusing for me. How can we get divorced when we love each other so much?”

“We’ve been down this road Derek, it’s not that I don’t love you its I can’t live with you. I’m sorry that it’s come to this. But I need to be at peace. I can’t have the thought in the back of my head if you’re working late and with someone else.”

“Nov, the only real mistake I did was with the Queen and I hate myself every day for it.”

“Still, Derek, anyway this is better for you. Who knows you just might find someone here and fall deeply in love. You can have more kids like you always wanted.” Her words made him cringe and his heart broke into pieces. “Now you don’t have to worry about me finding out, you’ll be free to do as you like. If we continue to live together it will only create more stress. All those nights you came home late I always wonder if your with someone. Now I don’t have to deal with the stress. We are not going to live together and I don’t have to worry.” She could tell her words stung him and she reached up to touch his face. “You’re the father of my children so I will always love you.”

“I can never let you go, you know that?” He told her.  “There’s no other one for me. Can’t we just live together before we make that final decision?”

She looked away and huffed, “Don’t make me hate you for prolonging this.”

“But we’ve been getting along all this time. There’s no more secrets, I’ve told you everything. There’s nothing you don’t know. Gosh I even told you things I did when I was a kid that I’ve never told anyone to this day.” She frown and began to get up from the bed, “Okay, okay, No more talk about it. I agree, I don’t like it but I will do anything to make you happy.”

“Thank you,” she said then yawn, “sorry I guess the jet lag is kicking in. Now where were we.” She pulled him closer and kissed him.

He wanted her to know how much he loved her and passionately he kissed her back. Why doesn’t she kiss me back, he thought. He opened his eyes and found her sleeping underneath him. He kissed her gently on the forehead and whispered, “Good night baby.”

28^th of November, 2225

Wildstar Residence

They continued their charade with their younger children so that they wouldn’t find out. Derek would make her laugh and they would talk for hours about their day at night. They still slept in the same room and many nights they made love. Derek search for someplace close to the house with no avail. They talked about finalizing their divorce in the morning. “So tomorrow’s the big day, will I have to call you Ms. Forrester or will it stay Mrs. Wildstar?”

“I’m keeping your name Derek. Unless you get remarried then I’ll change it back. No sense in having two Mrs. Wildstars walking around.” She told him. She made it easy for him on anything he asked and in return he did anything for her.

“Well then you will be the only Mrs. Wildstar walking around cause I ain’t getting married again. Unless it’s you.”

“Still in that dreaming state I see.” She laughed at him. “That’s alright I won’t hold that against you.”

“Come here, we have one last night together as Mr. and Mrs. Let’s make it a memorial one.” He kissed her neck and guided her to their bed. He still hoped that she would change her mind in their marriage. But if that is what she wanted then he wasn’t going to stand in the way. Fighting with her would only make her hate him more. So he decided to go with the flow. “I’m going to miss you as my wife you know that. How am I supposed to introduce you now?”

She smiled at her soon to be ex again and said. “As Nova Wildstar your ex-wife and the mother of your children, that’s how.”

“You have an answer for everything. Okay the former Mrs. Derek Wildstar it is.” He said making her laugh. “How about Miku, what will we tell her?” to that very moment they have not agreed on how they would tell their daughter. They sat down with their oldest, Alex and explained what they were going to do. As for their twins they decided to tell them after their divorce was final. Their daughter would be the hardest to tell. She adored her father and was very close to him. For him to move out would make her upset and he wasn’t ready for the crying and it would tear him apart to see her like that.

“I think we should just pretend that we have another house and we can transition her to your place slowly. It will be like a summer house.”

“You know I haven’t found a place yet.”

“Yeah I know. Nothing nearby, huh?”

“Nothing that I found suitable to have them over. I wish that one place was still available.”

“Derek that was a one bed room apartment. It was good for you and Alex when he was a baby, but three kids? I don’t think so.”

“Yeah I know.” He frown thinking of that dark time in their lives.

“How about that house down the road from here? It’s still up for sale. It looks big enough for you and the kids.”

“Yeah I checked into it. It does need a lot of work. It might take a long time to get ready for the kids.”

“You’re always welcome to stay here with me and the kids.”

“Why don’t we just stay married and I don’t have to move anywhere.” He grinned.

“Hmm, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” She said. “I thought we were in agreement in all this?”

“We are, we are. I was just hoping that’s all.” He looked away still wishing that she would change her mind. “Anyway come closer let’s make our last night together one to remember.” He pulled her closer and she laughed out loud.

29^th of November, 2225

She sat up in bed and looked over to where he laid. He was still handsome and his body still looked like a 20 year old. She smiled to herself of how gentle he was when they always made love. At times it could grow intense and they would pull away breathless. She lean closer and kissed him on the forehead. Smiling she climb out of bed and wrapped a sheet around her naked body and walked to their porch. She looked up and saw the moon glow bright in the night sky. Her eyes moved towards where the tomb that the Argo once laid to rest. The crystals sparkled like stars as the moon cascaded in the distances. The ocean was calm tonight as the tide slowly waved back and forth on the shore. Brr, its cold out here, she said in her mind. So many nights they spent on the beach, walking, talking and making love. This house was their home and she could see no one else living in it. This is the only house the kids know. This was our first home, we made love in every room. Mark, DJ and Miku were conceived here. Now it would be different. He will soon move out and it will only be her and her children. How did we get here? After so many years together how can we actually make it work once again. Twice we married each other and now it will be twice we are getting divorce. It’s funny how I can still look into his eyes and see how much he still loves me. I love him too but, she looked at him again and let her mind answer. I just have to be true to my heart. He’s a great dad and he was and always is a great husband even if he slept with her. I can’t be so innocent in all that. I did sleep with Michael and put him through the whole custody thing. At least he knew who the father to her baby was. I wasn’t so sure. She gazed out to the sky and sighed. Tomorrow, she thought and went back into bed with him. He pulled her closer to him and held her tight. “Are you alright?” he asked with a sleepy voice.

“Yes, just fine.”

“Come closer I want to hold you this last time.” He whispered to her.

“Derek,”

“Yeah babe?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being there for me and the kids, for loving me and agreeing to all this.”

He sat up and looked down at her. “I will always be there for you. Are you okay? You sound like you’re going to cry.”

“No, no, I’m alright just tired. Let’s get to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” She kissed him and tried to sleep.

29^th of November, 2225

Office of Chan, Weis and Dunbar

“Are you sure about all this, Admiral?” Owen Dunbar ESQ asked.

“Yeah, give her anything she asks for. She gets the house and whatever is in it. We both have saving accounts so she can keep hers. The kid’s college funds she will handle. Whatever she wants is hers.”

“And how about visitation of the children?” Mr. Dunbar asked.

“We are going to share custody.” He told them.

“Very well Admiral. They are waiting for us in the conference room. I’ll have my assistant draw these up and if Mrs. Wildstar agrees then you and she will sign them and then we will send them to the court house to be processed.”

“Fine, let’s go then.” Wildstar felt his heart breaking as he got up to meet with Nova and her lawyers. He wanted so much to stop this and just walk out never to sign any papers.

She sat across from her lawyer also going over their assets. “Are you sure that you want to do that?” her lawyers asked.

“Yes, joint custody of the children. He can see them whenever he wants. I know he wants me to keep the house and whatever bank accounts, but I will not budge on the kids. They love their father and I will not stop him from seeing them.”

“And the vacation house on the private island?”

“We will work it out without any of you guys getting involved. Leave the vacation house out of the settlement.”

“Very well.” He said in disapproval. The door opened and he walked into the room with his lawyer. “Gentlemen, please, come, sit down. I do believe we have finish with the requests. Now I think that Mrs. Wildstar has been more than generous with the division of property and Children. So really there’s nothing more to do but sign the papers.”

Derek lawyer looked over her papers and found that they were both in agreement on everything. “Well looks in prefect order. Admiral if you just sign here then Mrs. Wildstar can sign next. We will send the papers down to the court house and the only thing we do is wait until it is sign by a judge and registered. Within a week you two should be legally divorced.”

 Derek took hold of the pen and looked one last time at his wife and smiled. “This means absolutely nothing, I still love you. But if it’s going to make you happy then I will let you go.” He quickly took the paper and signed it. He sighed loudly and then handed the pen to her. “Your turn babe, I love you.”

She tried to smile at him and then looked down to the papers. Taking the pen in hand she placed it on the paper. What the hell am I doing? She thought. I still love this man even with his faults. He may have disappointed me but he has never let me down. They watched as she stood there staring at the papers. Derek turned to leave not wanting to watch as she finally called it quits. He was almost to the door when he heard her call him. “Derek wait!” her voice quivered as she said his name. “Can I speak to him for one minute please, alone?” They watched as the lawyers walked out the door and closed the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asked her.

“No it’s not. I, I can’t do this. I love you; you’re my heart, my friend, my lover, my world. I can’t let you go. Would you think I’m crazy if I say I want to stay married to you?” He stood there frozen. Was she really saying what he thought she was saying? Was he dreaming this? He wasn’t sure what to say. His heart scream yes, his mind scream yes, but his mouth wouldn’t open. “Derek, are you alright?”

“What, what was that?”

“I said I want to stay married. Am I crazy to go through all this and then back out at the last minute?”

He walked slowly to her and then took her into his arms. Without another word he kissed her. He held her tight not letting her go. Pulling away he looked into her eyes and said, “No you’re not crazy. I never wanted this I only wanted to make you happy.”

“Well I guess there is only one thing to do now.” She said and waved in the lawyers. She handed the papers to her lawyer and began to walk out with Derek.

“Mrs. Wildstar we still need your signature or else we can’t file.” Her lawyers said.

Derek turned around and said, “You can burn them. It’s not happening today or ever. We are staying married.” Leaving their lawyers dumbfounded to what happen. “Come on let’s go home.”

The End

Thank you for reading, In my next tale Derek Wildstar Junior who now is in EDF Academy try’s to deal with the demands of becoming an officer and falling in love with a dear friend from the past. Read on to my next tale  . . . . . Derek Wildstar Junior.