Letters of Regret

Part 7

By Yuki Wildstar


10th of September, 2225

Red Dragon café


They sat across from each other in the heart of Great Island Metropolis. “Nova I really never wanted to do this. But I have to know if there is one ounce of a possibility if she is mine.”

“I understand Michael. I guess if it was Derek he would do the same.”

He reached over and touched her hand. “I never stopped loving you.”

“Michael don’t you think this is in appropriate. You’re engage to be married and you’re confessing your love for me. I’m married to Derek for almost 22 years now,”

“This is the second time around for you both shouldn’t you start from that point on?”

“It doesn’t matter, he is my husband and I love him. If the results show you to be Miku father then we will deal with it. You asked me here to discuss visitation if she is. So please can we just stick to working out a plan as to how we will deal with custody.”

“I want full custody considering you and his history. I don’t want my child in the middle of a blaming match. I know he will look at her differently once they come back with the results.”

“Derek would never do or say anything to hurt Miku he loves her. She is everything to him.”

“For now, but how will he react to her once they come back with the results of her being mine. I won’t let him hurt her. You can get her on weekends and holidays or we can alternate weeks. Nova I’m not going to sugar coated it I want my child. You and Derek have had her for the first 5 years of her life. I want to be able to connect with her. I want to see her again.”

“I don’t think Derek will allow it. Right now is not the best time to bring any of this up.”

“To tell you the truth Nova, I don’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks. If she is mine I want to be in her life.”

“IF she is yours we will work something out.”

“Nova I don’t want to argue with you. I want to be as civil as possible for the sake of Miku. She is the most important thing right now. Agreed?”

“I agree with you, but remember Derek is her world, if you go after him you are hurting her.”

 “I understand. That’s why I asked you here to make things go smoothly if this turns out in my favor. I don’t want to make this any uglier then it is now.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“If she is mine I want her transition to go smoothly. I’d figure I start coming around a lot more often, then she can stay with me for a night here and there before we make the permit transition. I would still like Derek to be part of her life after all he has been there for her from the start.”

She smiled knowing that he would do anything for her and Miku including making peace with her husband. “I will try to talk with him. I can’t promise you anything.” She said. “I’m glad that you are thinking of her and not hurting us. Though Derek would think otherwise.”

“Nova the last thing I want to do is hurt you. You always have a special place in my heart.” He reached one more time across the table and took hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He looked deep into her eyes, “I couldn’t pick a better person to be her mother.”

She blushed to his touch and words. With all the stress going on with the custody it felt nice to hear him say that. Derek seemed more distance as the time goes by waiting on the results to come in. He would spend his time with Miku and she would leave to work or stay out of his way in general. The sly remarks were too much for her and she preferred to stay away. Work was all she thought of to keep from strangling her husband. She would give him angry stares when he said something out of line. He would try to apologies but she simply walked away to stop herself from saying something that would start a fight. Each day became more of a stress. She would watch him at times, when it was good day, and smile as he played with Miku. Though Derek thinks that he can handle it Nova knew that it would destroy him. He’s lost two kids and to lose one more to the man he hates the most will destroy him and their marriage. They talked more about her daughter and she gave him insight as to who she was. “She loves peanut butter and jelly so far. But she tends to change her mind every other week as to what she likes to eat. As you know her favorite doll is Ms. Daisy that my father got her. Derek tends to spoil her every time he goes away by bringing her something back. It’s either a snow globe or a little trinket from the place he went to. She has tons of snow globes all over her room. But her favorite one is the one that he got when he went to Russia. Something about the architecture she seems to be drawn to it.”

“Maybe she will be an architect.” Michael smile.

Nova gave him a grin and said. “Maybe she will.”

“Do you remember when we dated back in New York?” He asked her to lighten the mood. She nodded her head as she remembered her time with him. “Those were the best days of my life. I was hoping that you would have said yes. But deep down inside I knew that someday you would wake up and regret marrying me. Your heart will always be his. I just hoped that maybe you and I would be happy together.” He smirked. “I always wonder how life would have been with you and the kids. I would love them just as much. They are a part of you and that would have made me love them more.” She smiled knowing that he was sincere. “I only wished that this play out differently and you never went back to him.”

She stood up knowing that she had to head back and stop whatever it was he thought would come out of the meeting. “I should go. Derek must be wondering what’s taking me so long at the hospital. I’m glad we had this talk and we could work things out. It shouldn’t be long before we get the call. Say hello to Nicole, she is a really nice lady.” He stood up with her and took her arm. His touch sent the warmth that she yearned for from her husband. Her heart beat faster and she looked him in the eyes. “I really should go.” She told him. He stepped closer to her and slid his arm around her narrow waist. The smell of his cologne made her remember of their time and he pulled her closer to him.

“Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. I hope that we will be able to work things out once the test results come in.” he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Nova closed her eyes and took in his kiss. How she missed Derek’s lips on her. She missed their passion and their many nights together. She pulled herself together and pushed him away.

“I have to go Michael. Thank you for lunch.” She told him and quickly left.


She drove home thinking of their conversation about Miku. Well at least he is trying to be civil. I just hope that he keeps his word on all the things he said. It would make it a lot easier to keep the peace. He is trying I can’t say much about Derek. His bitterness seems to show more and more each time he hears Michaels name. I can barely talk with him at times without him taking a cheap shot at me about him. It’s like he is starting to hate me. I guess this is how he felt back when the shoe was on the other foot but at least I was more civil then he was. I must have said one or two things in the past but she had my child and it’s not the first time he put us in a mess. Well, I guess its best not to mention this to him. It will only send him into a rage. And right now I really don’t need it. She pulled into the drive way and took a deep breath before going into the house.

“Mommy!” her daughter yelled running into her arms. She hugged her tight not wanting to let go. Each day she looked at her she could see something of Michael in her. “Mommy, Daddy is with Mark and DJ. I think DJ is in trouble again, something about a big boom.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled at her daughter. “And what else is new?” she kissed her on the cheek and said, “Well I better go see what he did and hope that Daddy doesn’t ground him for another 10 years. As far as I can count he’s going to be ground until he is about 80 years old.” She walked out to the porch and heard him yelling at their younger son. “Hey what’s going on?” she interrupt them.

“Do you want to tell her or should I?” His father snapped at him.

DJ Wildstar rolled his eyes and said, “Maybe you should tell her, your better at it.”

Wildstar stared at his son with anger, “Listen here you little shit don’t catch an attitude with me. If it wasn’t for Mark you would be in bigger trouble. Go to your room RIGHT NOW! I’ll deal with you later. And don’t even think about climbing out that window, because I’ve set the alarm to your room. NOW GO!”

Nova sat down on the patio chair and rolled her eyes, “what did he do now?” she tried not to laugh.

“This isn’t funny Nov, he took my car all the way a crossed town to the air field. He’s lucky that he didn’t get into an accident or kill himself. Or worst kill someone else. I just don’t know what to do with him. If it’s not a fighter it’s my car or yours. We have to do something before he actually kills himself or someone else. I just want to choke the living crap out of him.” He ranted.

“Well let’s take a step back before we go killing anyone.”

“Where did you go? I call the hospital and no one saw you.” He snapped at her.

She raised her eyebrow at him and said, “I wasn’t on the floor all day. I had to do some paper work. You know I can’t stay on the floor doing paper work, I would never get home. And why are you snapping at me.”

“I call there and they didn’t see you all day. You’ve been gone all morning and most of the afternoon. Does paper work take that long?”

“Considering that I deal with people’s health and lives everyday sometimes paper work is about more than a mile long to complete. If I recall there were times when you work late into the night dealing with paper work. I don’t think a ship is ever sick and if I remember correctly if something breaks or falls off it’s easily replace. I can’t say much for a human being.” She snapped back him.

He stared at her trying to regain control of his temper. He took a leave of absent to be with his family and it seemed every chance she got to go, she went. She didn’t seem to even feel the stress of what has been going on with their daughter. She was either shopping or heading to work. She never wanted to be home, she kept busy out of the house leaving him to deal with the mess at home. If it wasn’t for Misha he would have lost it a long time ago. “Do you even know what the hell has been going on around here? Have you no interest on what has been happening with our daughter?”

“Yes I know what goes on around here. More then you know! Or have you forgotten who has been home with the kids since they have been born while you go off to other worlds not to mention your little indiscretions. So don’t think I don’t know what the hell goes on around here.” She yelled back, got up and walked back into the house. She went straight to her son’s room and knock on the door. “DJ, we need to talk.” She snapped at her son.

“Are you going to yell at me too?” He asked with sarcasm.

“Sit up right now young man I want to talk with you. And don’t you dare get smart with me, do you hear me!” she sternly said.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Now what the heck is going on with you for you to give your father so much trouble? You have never acted up this much. Do you want him to knock you on the head? For Christ sake behave a little! You could’ve gotten yourself killed driving all the way down there. Or worst kill someone else! If you keep going at this rate you will be ground until your 30 and your never get your own car. Do you think that EDF would let you just fly when the hell you want? They will have you in the brig quicker than you can fly that fighter of your father. Well do you!”

“Mom, what gives?”

“What gives? What gives is that I don’t want to visit you every Saturday and Sunday in the brig. Now you either straighten up or I will have you grounded from ever flying, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good now you’re grounded for 3 weeks. So that little party that you planned at the end of the month kiss it good bye. Maybe you’ll make the next one. In the mean time tough. Tomorrow you will take all the window screens down and clean them. You will clean your father’s car and Alex car also. After that you will clean this disgusting room. And believe me there will be more to do around this house then you can count. I have had it with you young man. I will not stand for this from you when I can get more respect from my subordinates. Now wash up and get ready for dinner. And another thing do not, and I mean do not start with your sister or your bother. Do you get me!”

“Yes ma’am.” He said lowering his head. She gave him one last look and walked out the door slamming it hard behind her. Derek stood in the hall way as he listened to her scream at their son and said nothing when she stepped out.

“What do you want?!” she snapped at him.

“Nothing, I was just going to give him his punishment but I guess you beat me to it.”

“I’m tired and going to bed.” She said and walked to their room slamming her door shut. Derek stood there and then heard a door opened behind him.

“Is she gone?” DJ asked.

“Yeah but I wouldn’t come out if I were you. She may come back out and finish you off.”

“Dad I never saw Mom that mad before. Is she alright?”

“To tell you the truth Deej, I really don’t know. I have never seen her that mad in a long time. I’ll call you once dinner arrives. It’s best to stay low until she calms down.”

“Okay, and dad I’m really sorry about taking the car.” He told his father.

“Just stay out of your mother’s way. I’ll order dinner tonight. I’ll call you when it gets here.”



Nova lay on her bed staring out into space. Her hands shook so much she had to pour herself a drink from some wine that they kept in the room. She felt horrible in yelling at DJ the way she did. It was usually Derek that did the disciplining with the boys once he came home. But his whining about being home with them just set her off. Did he think that she sat around eating bon bon’s and watching some stupid soap opera? How selfish can he be? He is acting like he is the only one going through all of this. If it wasn’t for me Michael would still be dragging out the labs and fighting to see Miku. Then where would that leave us. His bitterness to Michael is making it hard to even talk with him. She rather just go straight to bed and not deal with his crap. She turned to face the French doors and looked outside. It began to get dark and she closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep. Her mind drifted to how life could have been with Michael had she married him. Would life have been easier? Lunch was nice with him today. She could see the spark in his eyes as he talked about their time together which made her hope that maybe it would bring sparks back for her. But he’s engaged and I don’t want to be the other woman in his life. He deserved to be happy with Nicole. She would only make his life difficult especially with Derek in the scene. He would never let go of his boys. But then again he was ready to let her go once. How could he have easily walked away? The curtains softly blew inward as the breeze sent a chill into the room. Nova got up and closed the doors and then went to lie back down. The whole ordeal with the custody was wearing her down and all she wanted to do now was sleep and never wake up. Her life has turned into chaos and she felt frustrated with Michael and her husband. They both loved her and they both were acting like high school rivals. When is this going to stop, do they not realize that my daughter is the one that will hurt in the end. Why can’t they just act like grownups? Is it too much to ask? She could feel herself slowly drift off to sleep something she welcomed to escape reality.


He sat with his daughter reading a story to her. She drifted off to sleep and he wanted to cry. Would he lose his daughter to the man he hates the most? He quietly picked her up and carried her to her room. Her mother decorated it with soft blues and greens. Her bed was all white and a canopy cover the bed with sheer curtains that made it look more like a princess room. Her snow globes sat all around the room with dolls on her sofa chair that sat in the corner. A light sat on a night stand in the shape of a star and with it was a small replica of the Argo. He brushed her hair away from her face and then covered her. He smiled at the pretty little girl, her flowing dark hair that he and his sons had. Her little button nose and small pouty lips that she shared with her mother. How could she be anyone else’s child but his? She looked like her brother when they were this age. He kissed her head and closed her door half way to let the hall light in. Derek walked to his room and opened the door slowly. He saw her sleeping on her side of the bed facing towards their French doors. Best to leave her alone, he thought and closed the door. He knew that he was losing his wife little by little. Each day they didn’t hear anything from their lawyer was another day that he pushed her away. She kept her distance to avoid any fighting and he knew it. All he wanted to do was spend his time with his daughter. Thank god Alex was in the states helping Annie settle into college. He knew his son would side with his mother and he would have to fight with both of them. Because of the tension at home DJ became more of a hand full. Derek was at his wits end with him. He was surprise that Nova set him straight. He walked up to his office and pulled out a blanket and pillow from the closet. It’s been a long time since he slept there but tonight he felt it best to sleep in his office.


11th of September, 2225


He had a restless night tossing and turning on his couch. He sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and looking at the paper. Flipping through the pages he couldn’t believe what he saw, a large picture of her and Spada kissing. How could she?  And all this time he thought she was going to the hospital to work. She was busy sneaking away to see him. Was she planning to leave him to be with Spada? Had he lost her again? The anger began to take over him when he heard his daughter run into the room. “Good morning daddy.”  She sang and ran into his arms.

“Good morning Miku, did you sleep well.”

“Yes daddy. Can I have cereal please?” she smiled at him.

His eyes soften to see her smile and he gave her a kiss on the head. “Of course you can sweet heart. Just have a seat and I’ll get it for you.” He heard her hum a tune while he made breakfast for her. His mind went back to the paper and he realized that he left it on the table. He moved quickly to give her breakfast and then picked up the paper hiding it from her. He was ready to sit down when the phone went off. “Hello Wildstar Residence.”

“Admiral Wildstar, this is Mr. Kacer.”

Derek heart began to beat faster and held on to the phone tighter. “Good morning Mr. Kacer.”

“I was called earlier this morning. The judge has the results and wants us in chambers in two hours. I will meet you and Mrs. Wildstar there at the courthouse.”

“We will be there.” He said and then hung up. “Miku sweetheart Daddy and Mommy have to go out this morning. I’m going to see if Aunt Yvey can watch you. Would you like that?”

“Yes daddy.” She said with excitement. She loved going to her house to play. Aunt Yvey and Aunt Denise  always fuss over her. Aunt Denise and Marisa always play with her and her dolls. But Aunt Yvey taught her Spanish and she always made her laugh when she yelled at Uncle Stephen. Making them all break out in laughter.

“Finish having breakfast and Daddy is going to get Mommy and get dress.” He said while he ran his hand threw her hair. She was still sleeping when he enter the room. He stood over her and gave her a shove to wake up. “Nova, wake up.” He ordered.

“Mmm, huh, what time is it?” she asked still groggy.

“Mr. Kaser called the results are in. We have to go to the courthouse ASAP. The judge will meet us in his chamber.”

“The test results are in?”

“Yes, hurry up and get dress. Oh yeah,” he said then threw the paper on the bed. “You and I can talk about that after.”

She picked up the paper and saw the picture. Her heart dropped knowing that she was being watched and now she was on every paper on Great Island. For him to know that she was with him was not what she wanted to wake up too. “I should explain.”

“Now is not the time we have to hurry. We will talk about it later.” He said over his shoulder as he got dressed in his uniform. “Hurry up and get dress we have to be there in an hour.”

“I’m not going.” She said pulling her legs to her chest.

“What! What do you mean you’re not going? Don’t you want to know?”

“Of course I do, but being there with you and him isn’t what I want to do. I can’t do this anymore. The two of you in the same room is something I can’t do anymore. I have already lost you and I don’t want to be with him. I rather not know what is said there. You go, this is more for you then it is for me. Miku is always going to be my daughter as you would put it. I just rather stay home.” She pulled the covers over her and lay back down. “Tell them I’m sick and I couldn’t make it.”

“This is not only about me and him, it’s about you. Nov you have to pull yourself together. Don’t you even care to know the outcome?”

“I will know either way. So go, I’m staying here with Miku.” She said. “I need to be with her today.”

“I already promise that she can stay with Yvey and Stephen.”

“She will be alright. I’ll tell her.” She dreaded this day. How was she going to explain to her daughter that the father she has known is not her father? “Just go.”

“No I’m taking her to Yvey and Sandors. You can stay here alone.” He finished dressing and slammed the door behind him. She heard him take their daughter and drive off leaving her home with her twin sons. She crawled up and held onto the sheets tighter. Whatever happens today I least I know I still have her and my boys, nothing else matters.



“Thanks Yvey”

“No problem papi. I love having her here. How is Nova?”

“She’s not doing too well. To tell you the truth, Yvey she just didn’t want to come. She hasn’t been the same in weeks. She’s been seeing Spada behind my back all this time. I don’t even know if our marriage will survive all of this. I think I’ve lost her.”

“Derek, I promised her that would try to stay out of it but I can’t keep quiet any more. You haven’t lost her yet. But she misses you very much. She thinks she’s lost you completely. She hasn’t been seeing him at all. I saw the picture in the papers. Do you know what she was trying to do?”

“What difference does it make she was kissing him and now the whole world knows.”

“Look papi, before you go jumping the gun she was trying to make peace with him incase Miku turns out to be his. She wanted him to give her full custody of Miku and he will have visitation. Though it didn’t work out how she wanted at least he agreed to have alternate weeks, holidays and a whole month in the summer not to mention that when he goes to work out of the country which could take months. He also agreed to give her a few months before he takes Miku completely in order to make her transition easy.”

“She didn’t have to kiss him.” He said with vile.

“He kissed her and let’s face it. You haven’t been the most loving husband in weeks since this has come out. She was feeling lonely and wanted to be love. That’s as far as it went and I believe her. Now you should go, they are probably waiting for you. Miku will be fine here. Good luck and I’m hoping that the results say you’re her father. I love you and Nova and I know you two will work it out.” She stood on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now go.”

He drove towards the city and thought about what Yvey said. She’s right Wildstar your distance to her didn’t make it easy. She did try to talk to me and I pushed her away each time. He made record time to the court house and met with his lawyer in the hall way. Michael was also waiting with his lawyer at the far end of the hallway. They both look to each other as they waited to see the judge. He walked over to where Michael stood and said. “Once this is over I want you out of our lives.”

“Look Wildstar,”

“No you look Spada. I am pretty sick and tired of you popping into our lives and creating havoc. Nova is my wife and Miku is my daughter. So get that into that thick head of yours.”

“And if she is mine.” He snapped back then thought about her. “Okay, look Derek, I don’t want to get into a pissing match with you. Right now we have to deal with this and then once the results are in we will discuss Miku. I promise myself that I wouldn’t hurt Nova and work with you and her to make arrangements about Miku. And know this it’s more for her then you. I love her enough to put my differences aside with you. She deserves that much, more than I can say about you. Miku and Nova are my first priority and their happiness is the most important thing to me, maybe you should do the same. Now let’s go their calling us in.” he pointed towards the door as someone waved them in into the Judge’s chambers. Derek watched as he pushed past him. His words stuck a nerve with him and he realized he was right for once.

“Gentlemen,” the judge walked in and sat behind his desk. “I thought this would be better than an open court. Where is Mrs. Wildstar?” He asked.

Derek cleared his throat and said. “She wasn’t feeling well. So she won’t be present.” Michael wished she was here, seeing her again made him have second thoughts of marrying Nicole. He was glad that she went back to the Congo he didn’t want to hurt her with what he saw in the paper.

“Very well, now once I read the results, whatever it is I want you men to remain calm. I have the conditions if Doctor Spada is the father. He and Mrs. Wildstar worked out a schedule that they both agreed on. Admiral, please look it over and I think it’s a fair condition. Its better then what I would have handed down.” He handed him the papers and read it over. He was amazed that she managed to get him to agree to all of it. He nodded his head and agreed. The judge opened the envelope and looked over the paper. Wildstar’s mind drifted to his wife as he held on to the chair.




It was a calm morning when she finally got out of bed. The house was deafening since everyone left the house. Mark and DJ peeked into her room and told her they were heading to a friend’s house and Miku was at Yvey’s and Sandor’s. Nova dressed and took a long walk on the beach. She took in the ocean air and thought of all the fun times they had with their children. Well they probably read the papers already. I hope that Michael keeps his word and does what we talked about. At least Derek can see her more then what the courts would hand down. I guess I’ll have to prepare myself for the fight about the picture in the paper, especially if Miku is Michael’s daughter. I don’t even think we will survive this if she is his. Whatever happens he is Marks and DJ father. At least he will be in my life because of them. I don’t want to lose him but it seems like he doesn’t want to be here anymore and I can’t make him stay. If he was willing to walk away before I know he wouldn’t think twice if he lost her. She sat on the sand dune and cried out loud wanting the pain to go away.

Derek looked around the house and didn’t find her. Her car was still in the garage and he figured she’d be down on the beach. He left his cover on the kitchen counter and walked out to see her sitting on the sand dune. He walked towards her and wanted to cry for what he put her through. Yvey’s and Michael words rang deep in his mind all the way back to the house. He was an ass towards her and he hated himself for it. “Nova,” he called over the tide hitting the shore. She turned holding her hand over her eyes to see him standing there. He helped her get up and smiled. “I’m glad I found you.”

“What happened?” her body shook and her stomach turned into knots.

He pulled her closer to him and hugged her tight in his arms. He kissed her cheek and brought her head to his chest. “She’s mine.” He said into her ear. “She’s 99.99999 mine, just like they said in the hospital. His numbers weren’t even close.” Nova clasp crying as he held her. All the stress and pain left her body leaving her exhausted. He picked her up and carried her back to the house. He put her on the couch and ran his hand through her hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t want to lose you. This has been,”

She put her hand on his mouth and kissed him. “I just want to get our daughter.”

“Michael took it pretty well. He wished us well and said that for me to keep you happy. Nova, I told him that he can see Miku.” He said making her cry harder. “I love you, baby.”

“Derek, about the picture,”

“I don’t want to talk about that. Yvey explained everything. Let’s go get our daughter.” He hugged her tighter taking in her perfume. “Come on let’s go get her, where are the boys?”

“They’re at a friend’s house.” She said wiping her tear away.

“We can pick them up on the way back. I want us all together tonight. We’ll call Alex and tell him on the way to get her.”



Sandor watched his wife play with Miku, it was nice to have a little one in the house again. With Dee in the states it was going to be very quiet in the house. His wife cried on and off when he was leaving the nest. There were many times when she would snap at him upset that her only child was heading off to start his life. How they wanted more kids but it just never happened again. They showered their son with love and were happy he turned out great. He was as smart as his father and head strong like his mother. Yvey adored him and was very protective of him when it came to him dating. She made sure that she checked their family life with a fine tooth comb. For the millions that he would inherit she didn’t want him to go through what his father went through with his previous wives. Till that day he would get a call from one or the other for help getting out of some kind of trouble. Each time Yvey was the one to tell them to drop dead. Little by little he brought her into his businesses and taught her about his companies and what each and everyone did. Years after their marriage he took hold of her inheritance and tripled it for her. Derek Stephen Sandor was going to be a very rich man, his father told her. With that said to her she ran to a lawyer and drew up papers for him to receive his money when he turned 28 and not a day early. She wanted him to live and not worry about people using him for his money.  He was a smart boy and she knew it. When she wasn’t present with her husband at the company Dee was. He took in everything like a sponge learning everything about the company. He sat in on many board meetings and actually gave them advice to where they should place some of their labs. Stephen would sit back and watched as his son took on the most difficult board member and won. He was confident enough to let him lead most of the meetings while he took care of EDF Council. With Homer, Dash and Stephen on the council life was a lot better in EDF. He walked over to where Yvey and Miku played and kneeled down, “Looks like you two are having fun. Hello Miku.”

“Uncle Stephen!” She squealed and jumped into his arms.

“Whoa, you keep forgetting that your uncle here is old.” He reached over and took hold of his wife and kissed her. “Hello baby. I see that we will be eating out today.”

“I’m sorry Stevie, Miku and I were just having too much fun. I can call ahead and make reservation.”

“No we can eat in. I’m pretty beat after all those meetings. I just want to spend time with you.”

Miku laughed at them and said. “You two kiss like mommy and daddy,” making them all laugh. They heard the door bell ring in the distance and Miku jumped up and down knowing it was her parents. “It’s daddy!”

“Let’s go and see who it is.” Yvey said and they both ran to the door. Yvey swung opened the door to see both Nova and Derek standing there. “Hey guys.” She said. “And?”

Derek walked past her and took hold of his daughter hugging her as tight as he could while he showered her with kisses. “I’m your Daddy Miku, I’m your daddy.” He told her as tears rolled down his face.

“I know you are daddy.” She looked at him confused then turned to see Yvey jump up and down hugging her mother. “Daddy what’s wrong?”

“Nothing sweetheart, we are just happy to see you.”

“Your silly,” she giggled at him.

“Yes we are. Yvey thank you for watching her.” Derek said.

“I take it everything worked out.” Yvey asked.

“And then some. 99.99999 percent work out in my favor.” He said.

“I knew that it would. She is all you.”

“We should go, I want to get the boys and we still have to call Alex.” Derek said then walked over to her and picked her up and hugged her too. “Thank you so much Yvey.” Spinning her around as he hugged her tight.

“Hey what the heck is going on here?” Stephen asked as he walked in the hall.

“Oh just the fact that those ship test came back all with good marks.” Wildstar winked at him.

“That’s great Wildstar. I’m glad it worked out for you.” Sandor patted him on the back. “Now can you please put my wife back down. She might get use to being carried and will expect me to do it all the time.”

“Sorry Yvey it’s just that today is one of those best days of my life.”

“I gotcha well I’m sure that you want to head home and get back to your lives. How about dinner with the family this weekend?”

“I’ll call and let you know.” Nova said.



Later that night they both sat outside of their room and looked up to the dark skies. Derek looked over to her and wondered what she was thinking. Was she still angry with him for being so cold to her these last few weeks? He lean in ready to say something but then sat back and took a long breath. I have to say something, I’ve been really shitty to her and all that time she has been trying to talk, didn’t help that I made all those sly remarks to her either. He had to say something.  “Nova we should talk.” He said staring straight ahead.

“Maybe now is not the time Derek.” She said.  What was there to say? Their ordeal was over but she felt that things were not over for them. They had to say more but she wasn’t in the mood to talk. The stress of everything and tension was more then she could stand and now he wanted to talk. All she wanted to do was sleep.

“I know I haven’t been there for you but please understand that it’s been hard for me.”

Her brows crossed and she turned to look at him with slit eyes. “Hard for you? Really this has been hard for you? Hmm, gee, I guess I was just so unconcern that I never notice. All this time shopping and partying just kept me so busy that I never notice.” She said with vile in her tone. “I’m sorry I just thought that it was all a game. I’m so sorry!” she got up and walked into the room.

“Well that didn’t go so well.” He said out loud. “But I guess I deserved that.” He walked back into the room and waited until she came out from getting dressed. “Nova I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t there for you. I was a big ass and you deserved better from me. Can you please look at me?” he asked.

“I’m tired and I’m going to bed. I think its best that you sleep in your office tonight.”

“Nov, please,” he try taking her by the hand and she pushed him away.

“Derek, I’m tired. Just go.” She slid into their bed and pulled the sheets over her. “Can you turn the lights off on the way out please?”

He stood over her not sure if he should say more and decided to do as she asked. Once again he found himself sleeping in his office. Once again he didn’t sleep. He stared into space as he listen to Enrique Iglesias ‘Somebody ‘s Me’ thinking how he could talk to his wife without fighting.



18th of September, 2225


A week went by and she barely spoke to him. He in turned said just as little. Work was a nice break from being home and feeling the coldness she gave off. Alex sensed it also and tried talking to his mother but all she did was smile at him and tell him that they will work it out. He was leaving in the morning to college and he hoped that they would patch things up. Derek sat in his office at home not wanting to be bothered with the hassle of EDF. The knock on the door made him look up to see her walk in. “Hey, how goes? I thought you were working late at the hospital today.” She walked straight to his desk and placed some papers on his desk and he gave it a look. “What’s this?” He looked at it confused.

“Exactly what they look like.” She told him.

“But these are separation papers. What’s going on?”

“I have thought hard about this and I don’t think this is healthy for either of us. I want you out of the house. You can take a week or so to find somewhere else to go but it’s obvious that I want you out.”

“We can’t talk about this?”

“Not anymore. I gave you more than enough times to talk and once the results came in I thought that I would be able to talk. But you came home and act like nothing happened and wanted to sweep everything under the rug. I have put up with the sly remarks, the talking under your breath and being belittle in front of my children. I could have handled the sly remarks but to do it in front of the children is something I will not tolerate any longer. I’ve made my mistake and I owned up to it. You on the other hand have lied by withholding important things that have managed to seep out as time goes on. You weren’t honest with me, when I told you about Michael from the start. You use my mistake to cover up yours. You may be a great leader and father but as a husband you suck! When I needed you, you turned your back on me. I needed you to hold me and we were suppose to pull together as husband and wife with the custody suit and you decided to check out on me. I understood you wanted to spend time with our daughter, but you didn’t have to push me away. I needed you! I needed you to tell me everything would be alright. I never doubted that she was yours, Derek. The sad thing is I still love you with all my heart and soul. But I love me more. We can work on your exit with the kids. I know it will take a while for you to find something and explaining to our children on what is happening. Alex is old enough and DJ and Mark will understand. Miku is the one we will have to be careful with. She loves you and I will not stop you from seeing her or them. You can come and see them whenever you want. It will be like you never left, but I can’t live with you anymore. What you do with your life is now your problem, not mine. My main concern is our children. And one more thing the reason I never wanted more children is because I can’t. I had the surgery once Miku was born. I signed the papers a week prior.”

“You did WHAT!” he was shocked at the bomb she dropped on him. So many times he asked for one more child and she told him that she wasn’t ready or four was enough. Never did he think she would have had the surgery to not have any more children.

“It’s a decision I made when we weren’t together. I knew once the divorce was final I wasn’t thinking of marrying again. And I knew I was going to be a single mother for the rest of my life. I never told you because I knew you would react just like you are now. It was best to just,”

“But you still take birth control.”

“That’s only to regulate my time of the month. That’s all.”

He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes to what he was hearing. “So there’s no talking about this?”

“No Derek, there isn’t. I’m done talking. Have a lawyer look over the papers and send them to mine. Don’t worry I don’t intend of going back to the states. Alex is in college and Mark and DJ want to continue going to the academy. So I’m pretty much here to stay. If you want I can leave with the kids to another house. There is one up the street a half mile down that is up for sale maybe I can get a good deal on it.” She said speaking to him as if it were a business proportions. “Just think about it. I have to get dinner started. It will be ready in an hour. And it’s best not to mention this to the kids right now. So put that poker face on, you know the one. It’s the one you use when you lie to me over and over.” She said over her shoulder as she walked out of his office. He sat there still stunned to what she just dropped on him. She was leaving him again. He placed his head in his hands and tried to wrap what she told him around his head. He wasn’t about to let her go again. He loved her and he didn’t want her to go. Okay Wildstar, you have to do something to make this right with her. I will not go through another divorce with her. I promised myself that she is my first priority and the kids. You’re such an ass to do this to her. I didn’t think how this would affect her. And now she wants out. It’s time to concentrate on her and our marriage. He stayed in his office and waited until she called for everyone to eat. They managed to keep a smile on as they talk to their children about school. Miku sat next to her father telling him new knock knock jokes that she heard in school while DJ begged his father to take him to Miramar in the summer time. It was late when he finally entered their room and saw her sitting on the bed reading a book. She wore her black spaghetti string tee and a pair of pajama pants that matched. She looked like a college student to him as she sat there with her glasses on.

“Nov, can we talk?” he wasn’t sure if he should say anything but figured he had to try.

She look over her glasses and frown, “I said all I needed to say. I put some blankets and pillows in your office.”

“Really Nov, can we just talk this out? Separation, really? We’ve been through worst and I think this is just a little extreme. I thought that we made a promise not to go through this again? I love you, baby.”

“I also left an extra pillow for you up there. You should be comfortable enough to sleep.” She said and then bowed her head to continue reading.

Frustrated he sat on the bed and took the book from her hands. “Nova we should talk.”

“I’m done trying to talk. It’s not worth my breath anymore or even listening.”

“Can you please stop saying that. It’s like you’ve giving up hope on us. And I’m not ready to let our marriage go. Before we decide on those papers I want to be able to work things out with us. I know I’ve been difficult to deal with. I haven’t been fair in any of what happen with Michael. But I’m here now and I want to talk about it. It killed me to even have gone through all of that. I was angry with him, as usual, not you. I love you and you’re the only one I’ve ever loved. My life would be nothing if we can’t at least try. Please Nova don’t give up on us yet.” He pleaded.

“So many times I try talking to you and each time you dismissed me like some servant. There was never the perfect time to talk. I was alone the whole time. It was like living alone and I rather live alone then live with someone that is here but not here.”

“Okay I understand your anger. But,”

“But nothing. It’s over I want out.” She said then got up and walked out the room onto their porch.

He sat there thinking of what to say next. It seemed like everything he wanted to say she would cut him off. I’ll be damn if I lose her again. He walked outside and stood behind her. “Nova I won’t sign those papers. I’m not giving up on us. So if you think that I’m going to just walk away like last time you’re wrong. And I’m not moving out and neither are you. We have to think of the kids.”

“I have thought of the kids but I have to think of myself.”

“So what your saying is that you don’t love me anymore.”

“No, I’m not saying that. I love you with all my heart and soul but I love myself more. I can’t allow to be constantly hurt.” She said as her voice grew tired of the conversation. She took a deep breath and turned to go back in. “I’m going to bed.” He followed her back in and undressed. Whether or not she liked it he was going to sleep in his bed next to his wife. He slid in and pulled at the covers. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Going to bed in my bed, do we have a problem with that?”

“I told you to sleep in the office.”

“No, you’re my wife, this is my room, and this is my house too. I am sleeping right here. You can go upstairs but you’re welcome to sleep here with me. So Good night” he snapped, turned and pulled the covers over himself. She sat up staring at him not knowing what to say. With a huge huff she threw herself down on the bed and fought with him for the covers. She turned away from him and closed her eyes and tried to drift off. He lay next to her smiling that he won that battle.



9th of October, 2225


Requesting more time at the hospital she kept busy as not to face him. It’s been three week since she served him the papers and he seemed not to budge in moving out. He also continued to sleep with her in their bed which sent her into a frenzy of anger. How was she supposed to detach herself from him if he continued to be around? He would come home and give her a hug and kiss as she cooked dinner and begin to tell her about his day. She tried her best to avoid him when the kids weren’t around but he made his presences known. Her day at work was growing to a close when she felt someone place their arms around her waist. Startle she jumped as to who was taking hold of her like that. She turned to see him standing there with a large bouquet of yellow roses. Looking around she saw everyone looking at them smiling that he was romancing his wife. “What do you think you’re doing!” she said in a low stern voice.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well you did now go.”

“Oh come on Nov, lighten up.” He kissed her cheek. “I have another surprise for you.”

“What?” she rolled her eyes at him.

“It’s outside waiting. Come on, we have to go before it gets late.” He smiled.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, so go. I will see you at the house.” She snapped and then turned to see about another patient file.

“Damn it woman you are stubborn. Your coming whether you like it or not.” He placed the flowers on the counter, took hold of her arm and tossed her over his shoulder. Picking up the flowers he began to walk out of the hospital.


“I worked hard to put this together and by gosh you are going to like it and enjoy it.” He told her as people looked on laughing as he carried her out the door. He threw her into the car and jumped in after her. She lunged towards the door trying to escape and he pushed her back onto the seat. “You are going to stay put and enjoy everything. Do I make MY SELF cleared!” he yelled at her. She sunk into the chair and folded her arms looking away from him. The car drove out of the city and to the airport. Pulling up to a private jet he stepped out and put his hand out for her to take.

“Why are we here?” she said slapping his hand away from her.

“This is part of the surprise. Now get on board.” He told her. He walked over to the driver and directed where to put the luggage. He glanced over to see her standing near the car and he yelled out to her. “Don’t think about it Mrs. Wildstar I am much faster than you are.” He took her by the arm and led her onto the plane.

“Gosh I hate you!” she pouted.

“Well I hate you too. So if you are going to fuss all the way there then just sit there shut your trap and look pretty until we get there.” He joked in a sarcastic way. She sat there stun at what he said. But she had to admit she found him humorous as to what he told her and how he dragged her out of work.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” He said over his shoulder. The flight was long and quiet Derek look out the window as the plane began to go over the ocean. Nova sat there trying to figure out where they were going but as the flight continued she slowly drifted off to sleep. He looked over to her and got her a blanket. She looked so beautiful he thought as he covered her then gently kissed her on the forehead. “I love you.” . . . . . Hours later the plane landed and he nudged her awake. “Nova, Baby we’re here.”

“Here where?” she asked in a sleepy tone.

“Why don’t you come out and see.” She walked to the door and looked around. It was their island. He brought her to their island. “Come on the pilot has to go back for another flight.”

“I’m going with him.”

He took hold of her hand and pulled her out of the plane. “You’re staying, now get out.” She stumbled into his arms and he nodded to the pilot to take off. Nova fought back but the plane began its turned down the runway. She raced behind it then watched it take off. Derek watched her from the distances as she dropped to the ground and scream out in anger. “Well this is going to be fun. I hope she doesn’t kill me.” He smiled at the confused driver.

She watched as the plane took off and flew into the horizon. “ARGGG!” She screamed out then dropped to the ground. Her blood pressure began to rise and she marched back to where he stood and said. “Tell them to send a plane back! I’m not staying here with you. SO CALL THEM BACK!”

“Sorry, they have orders to return in two weeks. So you’re stuck here with me. So let’s go OR you can sit here for the two weeks and wait for them to come back in the heat.”

She snatched her bag and walked to the car, “GOD I HATE YOU! AARGGGGH!” Making him giggle and hoping she didn’t hear him. He sat in the car and waited until she got in. The slam of the door shook the car making Derek pray that being out there would help win her back. The car pulled up to their bungalow and Derek jumped out to get the bags. How she wanted to go home. What did he think will happen? It was over and she wasn’t about to give in.

“Are you coming or are you going to sit in there for the whole time.” He yelled back to the car. “Let her sit there for as long as she wants. I promise you she will be out of that car in 30 minutes. She just needs time to vent out.” He told the driver then handed him some money. “Thank you and make sure that we are not disturbed.”

“Yes sir.”

He placed the bags down in the entry and took in the scene. It was as it always was since their first time there. The bed still sat in the middle of the room. The doors were opened to let in the ocean breeze in and the tropical flowers were everywhere. The canopy was dressed in white linen as the sheer curtains hung from the bed post. The beach was white and the ocean was the bluest he ever saw. It was a beautiful place to have another honeymoon. He hoped that bringing her back here would at least give him another chance in their marriage. On the table sat a greet platter of fruit and a bottle of Champaign sitting on ice. Red rose petals were spread over the bed as music softly played in the back ground. He opened the bottle of Champaign and poured some into a crystal glass. He sat down on the stairs and stared out into the ocean. It was quiet and the roar of the ocean was a sweet sound to hear. He lean against the door and closed his eyes taking in the sweet ocean smell. He could feel the wind pick up and the sound of thunder far off in the distance. Great it might rain he thought. He sat there sipping on the glass and waited. Though he thought she would be there within 30 minutes it took her over an hour to come in. The clouds already rolled in towards the beach and the rain poured down. Nova stood in the door drench from the rain and shaking. He smiled at her and got up to get her a towel. “Here get out of those wet clothes.” He threw her a towel and opened her luggage. “I’m not sure what Misha packed for you but I’m sure there is something for you to wear.” She rolled her eyes at him and then searched the bag for something dry to wear. She found a long teal green sun dress and went into the bathroom to change. She came out 20 minutes later with her hair pulled back and looking like the young woman he loved. “Feel better?” he asked. She rolled her eyes again at him and sat down on the bed. “Well looks like it’s going to rain all night. Sorry, I was hoping that it would be great beach weather but I guess I was wrong.  Would you like to have a drink?” He said and placed a strawberry into the glass fill with Champaign. “Go ahead take it, might as well have a drink.” He said handing it to her.

“Are you aware that this is kidnapping.”

He let out a laugh, “I never thought taking my wife to another honeymoon would be considered kidnapping. I’ll tell you what if you still feel the same way by the end of the week then we can cut our trip short and I will turn myself in, Deal?”

“Oh shut up!” She snapped and snatched the glass from his hand. “And what are we suppose to do here?”

“Oh I don’t know.” He walked over to her and stood behind her. “Talk, reminisce, maybe make love.”

That’s never gonna happen again. So get that out of your head right now.” She slammed the drink down and walked over to the door. The rain poured harder and they could hear it hit on the palm roof. She sat down in the door way and took in the fresh rain air. Derek sat down next to her and poured her another drink. They sat in silences as the rain continued to come down. She shutter to the cold air and rubbed her shoulders. Derek moved closer to her and put his arms around her. “I’m fine.”

“I know your cold Nova. I was just trying to keep you warm.”

“Well I’m fine. I don’t need you to touch me.” She turned to look into the bungalow and realized that there was only one bed. “Where are you sleeping?”

Derek looked at the bed and pointed, “Right there with you. Oh don’t act so frigate, we’ve been sleeping in the same bed since you gave me those damn papers, this is no different. Now if you don’t want too there is a hammock over there. But I hate to tell ya its really raining out there and it doesn’t look like it’s letting up.” She huffed at him and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Well it’s getting late, I’m going to take a shower and then hit the bed.”

DAMN Him! Now what am I going to do. I’m stuck here with him and he is not making anything easy. She watched as he undressed and couldn’t help how good he looked for his age. He still had an amazing body. He looked at her and smirk making her blush and turn away.  She waited for a while as he fell asleep. She walked into the bathroom and searched her bags for something to wear for bed. She soon realized that Misha didn’t pack anything more than a few bathing suites, sun dresses and some clothes to come home in. Am I supposed to sleep naked? This is his doing, he knew exactly what to do and tell Misha what to pack. “Grrr, damn him!” she stood in the bathroom fuming and thinking what to do. She searched in the closet and found a sheet. She wrapped herself with it and then looked out to the bed. She couldn’t possibly stay up the whole two weeks. I have to sleep sometime. Throwing her arms in the air she marched back into the room and jumped into bed next to him. She kept to the edge of the bed so as not to touch him. It took her over an hour but she finally fell asleep without falling off the bed.



Captains Mental Log


Day 1 – We spent most of our time staring at nothing. She hasn’t said much to me since we got here. When asking her about her days she would only look at me with a scowl that meant she was totally pissed, doesn’t help that it’s been raining all day here. Most our time, well most of my time has been trying to make conversation with her. She just simply tells me to shut up and walks back into the bathroom. Meal times are extremely quiet. She did ask about the kids and I explained that they are with Yvey and Denise. She barely eats anything and always on the bed away from me. I spent my time just staring at her beauty and pray that this works. :^(


Day 2 – Another rainy day for us, which meant looking at each other yet again. Once again I find myself talking out loud to her and she only rolls her eyes and storms into the bathroom, leaving me to my own thoughts. Meal times? She grabs her plate and walks onto the porch to eat. I made an attempt to sit next to her and she got up and went back into the bungalow leaving her plate there. It always worries me when she doesn’t eat. She’s thin as it is  from all the stress of the custody and by not eating makes her drop in weight. I heard the bathroom door slam shut and I followed to see if she was alright. From the other side of the door I could hear her mumble. I clearly heard her yell out Dick head and Ass hole. Other phrases like ‘What a jerk’ and ‘I hate him.’ Then a growl I heard once or twice when we had a fight. Tomorrow will be better I hope. I have to get through to her. :^|


Day 3 – It was a better day today, the rain let up for a while, enough for us to leave the bungalow and walk on the beach. Well she went her way and I just simply follow in the distances. I could see the clouds get darker and ran back before it began to rain again. That’s when everything went black. I woke up hours later to the rain hitting me on the face. Funny, there was a blanket covering me from head to toe. I realized soon enough why everything went black. A coconut lay next to me with a little bit of blood on it, not to mention a huge bump on my head. I managed to get up and walk back to see her sitting on the bed with a smirk on her face. Nice to know she can still laugh at me. I asked her why she didn’t wake me and help me back. She just simply told me I looked peaceful and too relaxed, she was a nurse and it was just a bump. The coconut wasn’t that big to cause damage. Well I least I know she still loves me enough to check out how I was doing. @_@


Day 4 – We woke up to a beautiful day, the sun was bright in the sky, the birds sang in the distances. She walked into the bathroom and slammed the door a little harder this time around. I already sense that it’s not going to be a good day. I have to keep working on her. She will come around soon. She put on the bathing suit that I like the most. I’m glad that Misha packed it. It hugged her hips really nice. I can’t believe that she looks good even after 4 kids. She kind of caught me off guard when she walked out of the bathroom she actually said Good morning. I didn’t know what to say back. And just when I was about to say something she took off down to the beach. I soon followed but just when I was ready to wave to her to wait, a damn Coconut dropped in front of me almost giving me a heart attack! I could hear her laugh out loud as it hit the ground with a loud thump. It was the second time so far I heard her laugh. If it’s at my expense and she is smiling then I am willing to get hit on the head again. Lord knows I’ve made her cry enough so making her smile and laugh is the best feeling in the world. :^)


Day 5 – Another beautiful day to wake up too, she was already up and jogging down the shore. From where I stood I thought I saw her without that god for saken scowl she’s had since we got here.  I could see the storm coming in from the distance and waved to her to let her know. She just turned her head and kept running. What can I do to make her say more than good morning and calling me names. It would be nice to actually have a two way conversation for once. I am still the only one that is talking she just looks away and nods her head. And sometimes I’m lucky to even get that.

I couldn’t believe my luck! When the waiter dropped off our lunch I happened to ask if I can get a day of pampering for Nova. He told me that they have an excellent masseur there. So I managed to get an appointment for her. They come to the bungalow and set up everything, let’s just hope that this relaxes her enough for me to work a little on winning her over. It rain harder this afternoon and she was soaked when she got back. I couldn’t believe she told me after I gave her a towel to dry off was THANK YOU DEREK! Wow! This is the first time I heard her say my name since we got here. Usually she is calling me other names, some at which I rather not repeat on here. I think calling me Dick head and Ass hole is more than enough for me to handle. But hey she called me by my name that’s a real step forward. I just hope tomorrow works and she finally sees that I love her and miss her.


Day 6 – It was a little cloudy today but I was still hopeful. It started with her actually talking with me. It wasn’t much of conversation but it was something. She wanted to know about her cell. See I took it from her while she slept on the plane. I know her that she would call in the coast guard and have me arrested. Or worst yet, call her father and mother and I know her mother enough to come get her. My relationship with Sandra has been a little hot and cold. There are days when I love her to death and then there are times when I want to choke her to death. But it was a conversation to me. Oh I have to go the masseur is here and I want to talk to her before she gets started. . . . . .






To be continued . . . . .


Can Derek win Nova’s love back? He’s taken extreme measures to get her attention but will it work? Read on to see what happens next….


Enrique Iglesias – Somebody’s Me – to listen to the song click here   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMEmWEewwPA