Letters of Regret
By Yuki Wildstar
12th of August, 2225
Great Island Central Hospital
They all met in the lobby of the hospital. Derek tried to keep Miku busy making her laugh so as to keep her from asking questions. She asked on and off as they made their drive into the city. Derek would just change the subject asking her to tell him a joke. Nova stood next to them biting her nails hoping that all would go smoothly. “Nova, they’re ready for you at the lab.” One of the nurses said. They all followed her down the hall as Derek carried Miku in his arms.
“Daddy, where are we going?” She asked with wide brown eyes.
“Well sweet heart, your starting school soon and, well, they need you to give a little blood just to make sure that you are healthy. Now don’t be afraid, I will be there with you and Mommy.”
“But I don’t want them to give me a needle. That will hurt.”
He smiled wide and held her tighter in his arms. “I’ll tell you what, they can take my blood first and then you will see that it doesn’t hurt much.”
“But I’m scared daddy.”
“I know you are. I promise I won’t leave your side. As a matter of fact, Mommy will be there and Uncle Michael. He heard that you were a little scared and he said he would do it too.”
“Yup he did.” They walked into the room and he pointed to Michael. “See here he is.” He put her down and knelt down and said to her. “I need to talk with Uncle Michael for just a second. Stay here with mommy, okay.” He walked over to Michael and pulled him to the side. “Listen Spada, she is scared to death. She has no clue as to what is going on and let’s keep it that way. We told her that it has to do for school. So, not one word on the testing.”
“I understand, what did you tell her about me being here?”
“I told her you’re here for moral support. That you would take the test just to make her feel comfortable. Now let’s get this over with.”
They walked over to Nova and Miku and Michael knelt down to her level. “Hi Miku I hear that their taking a little blood from you.” She nodded her head and stepped closer to her mother. “It’s alright to be scared. Sometimes I get a little scare too. And your dad does too. But you know what I do when they are taking some blood.”
“Well the needle looks a little big when you first see it but it’s not, so I kind of look at something to distract me and I try to think of being someplace else. You know sometimes I hum to myself too. Would you like to think of something too?”
“Can you hold my hand?”
“I sure can if that’s what will make you feel better.” He smiled at her.
“Miku sweet heart, I will do it first then Uncle Michael.” Wildstar said. “If you don’t want to watch you don’t have to. But I would like for someone to hold my hand.”
“Would you like for me to hold your hand Daddy?”
“I would like that very much.” She took her father’s hand and watched as they prepped his arm. She looked on with wide eyes and stared as they placed the needle in his arm. She flinched as it entered his arm and squeezed his hand tighter. “Are you alright, daddy?”
“With you here I am always alright.”
“Does it hurt, Daddy?”
“Just for a second but once it’s in you don’t feel it as much.” The technician pulled the needle out and placed a band aid on his arm. “Looks like I’m finished. That was quick, but thanks to you holding my hand it wasn’t so bad.” Her father told her.
“Doctor Spada it’s your turn, sir.” The technician said. Spade sat down on the chair and smiled at her. She let go of her father hand and took hold of his hand.
“You don’t have to be scared Uncle Michael. I will hold your hand too.” She said.
“Thank you Miku, that is very sweet. I feel so much better now.”
Nova stood to the side and smiled at her daughter. Derek held her arm and smiled at her then looked at Spada and his smile left his face. How he hated him for putting their daughter through all of it. She watched as they placed the needle into his arm and drew his blood into the vial. She looked curiously at the red liquid that flowed into it and she reached to touch it. “Miku sweetie, you can’t do that.” Spada said as he pushed her hand away. “If you touch it, it wouldn’t be any good. So it’s not good to do that, Okay.” Wildstar had to admit that he was good with her and she nodded her head and finished watching them take his blood.
Nova reached to her daughter and said. “Honey it’s your turn now. Are you going to be okay?”
“Yes, can you hold my hand, Uncle Michael?” she asked.
“Um, maybe your dad would like to do that.”
“It’s alright daddy holds my hand all the time. And anyway you looked a lot scared then he was.” Wildstar’s heart tugged at his daughter and wanted to be the one to hold her hand. But making a scene now would only upset his daughter. He sat across the room and watched as they took her blood. She stood straight and closed her eyes as they placed the needle into her arm. He was so proud to see her hold her breath as the needle went into her arm. He could tell she wanted to scream but the Wildstar in her wouldn’t let her. She squeezed Spada’s hand tight and held her tears in. The technician finished her job and smiled at Miku. “You’re all done.” She told her. Miku smiled at her and ran into her mother’s arms. “Was I a brave girl, mommy?”
“You sure were. I am so proud of you. You deserve a present. Now what do you want?” Nova cooed at her daughter.
“Can I get a doll?”
“Yes you can.” She hugged her tight and kissed her daughter on her forehead. “I love you so much, Miku.”
Derek stood over them and waited until she let go of her. “You did so good, I am so proud of you Miku.” He picked her up and held her tight. “What a brave girl. You did really well, even better than your brothers.”
“You sure did. Now let’s go and get you that doll.” He said as he carried her out of the lab.
“She’s a great kid, Nova. You should be very proud. She was a real trooper, I couldn’t ask for someone to be a better mom.” He ran his hand on her face and hair. How he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her.
“Thank you Michael…for making it so easy for her. She seemed to enjoy all the fuss over her.”
“I’m sorry that she didn’t want to hold Derek’s hand. I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”
“Don’t worry about that, he will be alright. Now we wait,” she looked him in the eyes and could see his passion for her. “I should go. Thank you again.”
“Nova,” he took her hand and pulled her back. “I love you.”
“Michael, please don’t, not here. Remember you’re engaged and MY husband just walked out with our daughter.” She said then left him standing there.
She picked up her pace to catch up with her family. Derek stood outside with Miku as she came out of the building. “What took you so long?” he asked her.
“I was making sure that everything was processed correctly.”
“Nova, don’t take me for an idiot. They are capable of doing the job. What did he say?”
“Nothing, he just said she was a good girl.” She quickly said. He looked at her with suspicion and then turned his focus to his daughter. “We should go. I promised her a doll.” She took hold of her daughter and walked back to their car.
19th of August , 2225
A week passed and no news from their lawyer about the test results. Derek woke up and spent his time with his daughter. Nova watched as he consumed his time with her. She would try to talk with him at night about what has been happening with their case but he just shrugged his shoulders and told her that if it wasn’t news about the results he didn’t want to talk about it that day. Nova stood looking outside waiting for him to finish putting their daughter to bed. He walked in smiling glad that he had his time with his daughter. “She didn’t want to go to sleep. I read three books until she fell asleep.”
“Derek, can we talk?” Nova asked.
“Well Alex wanted to talk with both of us but you were busy with Miku. Annie is leaving early for the states and he was asking if he can go help her settle in. I don’t think it’s a good idea. He will be worried if the results come in and it hit the press.”
“I think he should go. He doesn’t need to be here considering what the hell is going on with us and her.” He told her.
She was surprised to what he told her and the tone he had with her. Just let him go? “Derek, don’t you think family is more important right now? Him being on the other side of the world while all this is going on is not a good idea. He should be close to us.”
“Let him go…he shouldn’t have to suffer for what you did.” Nova froze where she stood and stared at her husband. He’s never come out and said anything about what happen but with the waiting he has been become agitated. He looked up to see her staring and said. “Sorry,” then walked into his closet to get ready for bed.
She waited until he walked out and said, “I have to go in to the hospital. I’ll see you in the morning.” Leaving him standing there as she walked out the door and out of the house. She drove into town and checked into a hotel. Her night there was restless, crying, pacing and trying to get some rest. Sleep finally came in the early A.M. She woke up wondering how long she slept and looked over to the clock on the desk. “My god I didn’t realized how tired I was. It’s past 4 in the afternoon.” She walked into the tiny bathroom and washed her face then straightened her clothes and checked out of the hotel. She drove still in a daze back to her house. In the distance she could hear the sound of her phone in her purse and she glanced at the number that showed. It was the hospital calling, “Hello?”
“Nova,” she heard his voice on the line.
“Yeah, sorry to bother you, but you’re the only one that was available. We have an emergency here and they are kinda short handed. Doctor Wong is here and he asked who the best nurse in ER was. I told him you were. He wants to know if you can come in.”
“I don’t know Michael, you know with the case pending it’s best not to work together.”
“Oh you don’t have to worry about that I’m leaving soon. I was just filling in for one of the residents here. But it would have been nice to work with you again. So can you come?”
She could see her house in the distance and sighed. “Sure, tell him I’ll be there in about 20 minutes.”
“Gee thanks Nova, you’re a life saver.”
She quickly turned the car around and drove back into town for a long night in the ER. She walked into what looked like a war zone. Nurses and doctors ran around into rooms while screaming out orders to one another. She could feel her heart start pumping faster and saw one of the nurses wave her over. “What do you need me to do?” Nova said as she grabbed some gloves and a mask.
“Doctor Wong is in the OR and Doctor Bailey is room 6 all the other doctors are taking care of the minor injuries. There was a big fire down at the docks and one of the buildings collapsed, injuring most of the workers there. I think Doctor Spada is still here and he could use some help. Would you mind helping him out I’m helping Doctor Akita in room 8. There are some scrubs in the lockers so go grab you some.” The resident nurse said as she grabbed some supplies and started to run back to the room. “Oh and Nova, thanks a lot for coming in.”
Nova stood in the middle of the ER watching as she ran down to help the other doctors. Something fell on the ground and a scream came from one of the rooms bringing Nova back to reality. She quickly went into high gear throwing on some scrubs and ran to find Spada. She found him in one of the rooms with a patient that broke a leg in the wreckage. “Doctor, I’m here to help out.” Nova announced as she entered the room.
“Great! I was hoping you’d come in. I guess we’re stuck with each other for now. I have another patient in room 11 that has a broken arm and the guy next to him hurt his hand. All the other doctors are assisting with the burns and surgery. So we have the minor patients. I need x-ray done on the hand and see what’s taking so long in wrapping that arm for the seaman. It seems like everyone is running around a like a chicken without a head. They act like they have never been in battle. Especially these young doctors.”
“Right, I’ll take care of it. If you need anything else just holler.” Nova quickly ran down the hall and grabbed an x-ray machine and took off to room 11. She took the x-rays and grabbed an orderly to take it down to the lab. She then focused her time on the other seaman and began to access his arm and then proceeded to wrap it. She talked with him as she bandaged him up. “That should do it.” She finished tapping it closed and lightly patted it. “Now don’t go climbing any buildings. They should be here with your release papers it might take awhile because of the chaos but we will get you out of here soon.”
“Thank you Ma’am. And Ma’am, I had the pleasure of working with your husband a few years back he is a great guy.” She smiled at the young man and nodded then leaving to the guy next to him with the hurt hand. The x-rays sat on the counter and she pulled them out putting them on light box. She looked at it and made her assessment. “Well looks like you just sprang it. The swelling will go down in a few days. So let me wrap it with some more ice. I’ll have the doctor fill out some medicine for the pain and you will be as good as new in a few days. You’re lucky you walked away with something minor.”
He cleared his throat and asked in a low tone. “Ma’am, my friend that came in with me was in the fire. Is he alright?”
“I really don’t know about him. But I’ll try to get some information. What’s his name?” she asked smiling at him.
“His name is Glen, Glen Rice.”
“I’ll ask around. Right now just relax and I’ll get the doctor to sign your release papers too. I’m sure he is fine.” The night went on with more injured coming in from the fire. Nova worked side by side with most of the doctors assisting them with bandaging and speaking to their families. She kept an ear out for the name that he gave her wondering if he had been released from the hospital already. She managed to speak to the nurse on duty and asked, “I was wondering about a worker the name is Glen Rice. A friend of his has been asking about him.”
The nurse’s face turned sad. “I’m sorry Nova, he didn’t make it. His burns were too severe; he died two hours ago.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I’ll let him know.” Taking a minute away from the commotion she looked around for the friend. She found him sitting in the waiting area waiting for some news. He stood up when he saw her coming his way. She tried to keep a straight face but he could tell that something happened. “Daniel, I’m so sorry he didn’t make it. I just found out myself. Did he have family?”
“A wife and a son.” His eyes tear up and he bowed his head. “His last words to me were take care of them.”
“I’m really sorry… I,” she began to say.
“Nova, things here are calming down. If you have to go,” then noticed that he walked into something. “Is everything alright?”
“I have to go. If you need anything I’ll try my best to help.” She told the man and gave him a gentle squeeze on the hand. She took hold of Michael and led him back to the nurse’s station. “I just had to tell him that his friend didn’t make it.”
“It’s the price we pay to do this job. I only wish that we can give everyone good news. So how are you holding up? You look pretty beat, why don’t you go home.”
“Wouldn’t matter if I go home now things at home aren’t that, how should I put it, great.”
“I’m sorry Nova, I never wanted to do this to you. But if they did mess up I would like to know.”
“I understand Michael. I guess if it was Derek he would do everything he could to know also. I guess I should go home.” She wondered what was going on at home. She checked her cell a few times and saw nothing from him. “I have a few release forms for you to sign. We should go over them so you’re up to speed.” She told him.
He walked into the ER just as things quieted down at the docks. Once the call came in he left the house to assess the damages. Wildstar helped with the wounded and went over how the fire started. Once all was cleared he had them take him to the hospital to see the others. People turned to see him entering with his aide. “Who’s in charge today?” he asked one nurse.
“Doctor Sonata the chief of resident, but he is surgery sir.”
“I see, is it possible to see the injured?”
“Of course sir. Come this way.” He told him.
Wildstar followed him towards the back. The doors to the ER opened and he stood there shocked to see her next to Spada. He quickly averted his eyes to a solider that lay on a gurney closest to the door. Standing over the young man Wildstar asked. “How do you feel ,son?”
“Like shit sir, but it could be worst most of the others suffered more. I should be grateful I’m walking out of this alive.”
He gave the young solider a smile and then said. “Glad to hear you doing well. Can you tell me what happen?”
“I’m not sure sir, all I know is that they hit the alert button and we took off. The last thing I heard was an explosion behind us.”
“That’s alright son, you did the right thing. Get some rest, you deserve a little time off. I will speak to your commander about that.” Wildstar smiled and shook his hand then walked over to another injured worker. With every wounded person he would look her way. She didn’t see him right away. She was going over charts with Spada when someone tapped her on the shoulder and whispered into her ear about him being there. She could feel his stares as he went from room to room. Nova tried to stay focused on her paper work and continued going over charts with Spada. Finishing the charts she walked to an office and signed off on the patients. She placed them on the out box for the resident doctor to look over and made her way to the locker room. She changed her clothes and walked out to her car. Looking back to the hospital she could see his car still parked near the entrance. How she missed him. She hoped that he would have said something to her but he kept clear from her. She let out a heavy sigh and got in her car and went home.
He managed to see all that were injured and spoke to those families that lost their loved ones. It was a long grueling night and it broke his heart to see a lot of his men injured because of a careless person that didn’t take the time to do his job properly. As far as he knew it was the manufacturer’s fault. A major piece of the ship’s engine was defective and when they tested it out it exploded causing the fire to spread throughout the building. First thing he will have to do is have a meeting with the council and give them a report not to mention fight with the manufacture about what happen. The blaming on who is at fault will continue for a long time to come. He looked around wondering if she was still there. His aid whispered in his ear, “Sir the chief resident is here.” He nodded his head and followed his entourage to where he stood.
“Doctor Sonata, I am grateful for all you’ve done for my men and women. You and your staff have done an outstanding job.”
“Well we wouldn’t have been able to do it without Mrs. Wildstar’s help. I’m glad that Doctor Spada was here doing a favor for one of our residents. He called her and asked for her to help out. We were really shorthanded and she was great.”
“I’m sure that she would like to know that. Thank you again and I will let her know what you said. You run an outstanding ER.” He shook his hand and spoke with his aid making sure that he got on top of everything.
“I will have everything done by mid morning.”
“Thank you, now it’s late, go home and get some rest. I defiantly need some myself. Plus I want to spend as much time with my family.” He said and turned to see Spada looking at him. “Oh Doctor Spada. I see you are still here it’s amazing that you can always be in the center of it all as always. Well I should go and spend some time with Nova considering that she seems to be here with you.” He said under his breath. “Well good night everyone,” and left to go home. His car drove out of the city towards his house as his aid filled him in on what had been going on since he took leave of absence. They went over paper work and his mind drifted back and forth to Nova. She left over a day ago and haven’t heard from her since. He wasn’t shock to see her at the hospital that was just simply her. But to see Spada there standing next to her was something he wasn’t expecting. He wanted to just knock him on his ass. How could she even be in the same room with the man that wants to take his daughter away from them?
“Sir what would you like for me to do about the fire incident? Should we address it to the press?”
“Council man Sandor will deal with it and get on it as to who is responsible. If it’s the manufacture that was at fault I want them to be accountable for it.” The car pulled in front of the house and said his final order to his aide. “Call me only if you really need me. I will work from here in the mean time.”
He walked into the house and placed his things away. What a night, he thought. He could tell that everyone was sleeping and he walked quietly to their room to find it empty. Her car is here where could she have possibly gone. The darkness on the beach was hard to see if she was there. Guess I have to wait. Figuring it would take a while he walked up to his office and was shock to see her sitting at his desk looking at photos. “You’re here.” Making her looked up at him. “When did you get here?”
“I’ve been here for a few hours. I looked in on the kids and saw Alex. He’s leaving the day after tomorrow. I was just looking at some pictures of the kids when they were younger. They grow up so fast.”
His eyes soften knowing she gets nostalgic at times. “Yeah they do. Soon it will be Mark and DJ and then Miku.” He trailed off once he said her name. “Well it’s late and it’s been a long night. I have to get on the phone first thing in the morning and find out what the hell went wrong at the docks today. Will you be here tomorrow or will you be going to work with him?”
Since everything with Miku and the paternity test his attitude would change from hot to cold in a snap of a finger. She wanted so much to slap him for acting like he has with her but it will only make things worse. There was nothing that could make him be the man she fell in love with. All she could do was sit there and watch him leave the room. She turned the chair and look out the window. It was a clear night the moon shone bright in the sky. The crystal tomb of where the Argo once rested for so many years still showed in the distance. It was a remembrance of where it was before she was resurrected once again. She smile slightly of the day they told him about they were bringing her back. How excited he was to be in command of her once again. It was a much happier time for them. Now their lives were always in turmoil if it’s not one thing it’s another. Facing this new issue was the icing of their crazy marriage. She rolled her eyes and decided to go to bed. Maybe he’s sleeping already. She walked down and into their room. It was dark in the room and she crawled in next to him. She lay down hoping that he would reach out to her and hold her but he slept next to her not moving. She finally fell asleep as a tear rolled down her face.
22nd of August, 2225
Yvey, Denise and Nova sat at the café talking. “I just don’t what to say anymore without going off about something he heard or saw. The last time was when the explosion happened at the docks. He came to the hospital and walked in as Michael and I were going over charts. I mean there will be times when we will have to work together. It’s okay for him to work with that woman he had a thing for but its forbidden for me to work with Michael. I know that he is mad at Michael for doing this to us. But what can I do? He has the right to know if Miku is his. He would do the same if the shoe was on the foot. And if I know Derek he would make a bigger deal about it.” She let out her feelings to them.
“Aye Mommy, I’m so sorry to hear things are nutzo. Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No Yvey, by smacking him around is not going to make him straighten up. I just have to deal with it.” Nova sat still and then began to cry. “I’m sorry it’s just been so stressful. I don’t what to say anything to him anymore without having him saying something evil to me. I only wish that this would all go away. Some days I don’t even want to get out of bed. On the days that I do get out of bed I just go into work and pray that when I get home that he is sleeping. I just don’t want to confront him anymore.”
Denise reached across the table and her heart went out to her. “Nova, when do you think you will hear about the results? I mean once they come in, everything should go much better.”
“Only if she is his, I don’t know what he will do if she is Michael’s. It scares me to death that she is his.”
“Do you think that Michael is her father?”
“In my heart I feel she is Derek’s. He has been there for her from the beginning. But there are things that Miku does that Michael does and she does this thing with her nose when she smiles. Michael does the same thing. All I can do is wait and see and that is what’s killing us is the wait. Derek is on pins and needles each time the phone rings. I never know what day it will be either with him. I feel all alone, it’s like he is not there even when he is. I just feel like I’m in this alone.” She sighed and then said. “Enough of me and my problems what’s going on in your two lives. Denise I hear Marisa is not going to the academy?”
“No she isn’t. She wants to be a fashion designer. Would you two believe that? She is really a girly girl.”
“A fashion designer, wow, I’d like that.” Yvey said.
“Imagine if she becomes famous? We get to get first dibs on her line before it hits the stores.” Denise said with glee.
“That’s just wonderful Denise. Miku loves hanging with Marisa, she always comes home ready to do a fashion show. She runs in her room and starts to change every hour just to see what will look good on her.” Nova didn’t want to make their day only about her. Her mess of a marriage was something she wanted to forget when she was with them. But Yvey and Denise knew things weren’t on the best of terms with her and Derek and wanted to tell her that they were there for her. “Yvey so Dee is leaving soon for the states how’s that going?”
“Don’t remind me. Seeing him pack is just sending me into depressions. My baby is leaving me.” Yvey said as she wiped a tear from her face. Nova and Denise giggled at her for being so dramatic. “It’s not funny! My only son is leaving me.”
“Oh Yvey give it a rest. He is going to run one of the biggest companies in the world. And he already told you that he will keep the main headquarters here on Great Island.” Denise said.
“I know but how am I going to check out all those hussies that will be throwing themselves at him. I don’t want him to go through what his papi went through with all those hookers of ex-wives.”
Nova laughed at her knowing her better, “Yvey I know you better than that. You will make sure to keep tabs on him. And if I’m not mistaken you’ve already checked every girl that is registered.”
Yvey laughed with them and said, “I sure did!” then picked up her glass and drank down her drink.
“Maybe it’s a good time to think about having another baby.” Denise said.
“Hmph, we tried a few years ago and still nothing. If it happens it happens. I mean I’m still young enough but Stevie is getting up there in age. Let’s face it I’ll be a grandmother before I become a mom again.”
“Derek’s asked in the past about having another baby.” Nova said in a low tone. “And just before everything hit the fan he was talking about it again.”
“Um, Nova, mami, doesn’t he know?” Yvey asked.
“No, I just haven’t had the time to tell him.”
“Nova, the time to tell him is when he is talking about it. He has the right to know.” Denise warned her.
“I know, I know, it’s just that every time I think about telling him something always seems to get in the way. Like this mess with Miku.” She told them. “When the time is right I will let him know. Right now is not one of those times.”
“Well all I can say is that he should know.” Denise said with disapproval.
“I know but it’s just too complicated right now for him to know and understand why.”
They sat there for a few more hours laughing about their lives and reminiscing about their time together in space. Nova left them feeling better and drove home to see her family. She drove down the hill and saw her house come into view. Her smile slowly faded knowing that he would be home. Taking a deep breath she made her way into the house. She could hear Mark and DJ playing in the distance as she entered the kitchen. Running into the house DJ almost knocked her over. “DJ how many times have we told you not to run in the house. Please don’t do it again.” She said firmly. “Now, where is your father?”
“He’s upstairs in his study with Miku.” He told her. She thanked him and went into their room to lie down. The last thing she wanted was to see him right now. She laid there looking up at the ceiling thinking of everything that has gone wrong in their lives. She reached over to her nightstand and took hold of the picture of them on their wedding day. How handsome he looked on that day. She was so happy to finally marry him. How life was so simple then, even with all the wars and battles they stood by each other. He never let her down and there were no secrets between them. How life changed soon after Alex was born. She sat on their bed looking at a picture of Miku when she was a baby and smiled to herself. How tiny she was when she was born. She wondered what if she never went to the arbitration of their divorce back then would things be different. Would she still be single? Would she be back with Michael or Derek or someone else? Would she have moved to avoid Derek and Michael from ever finding out about Miku? How long would it take before they figured out that she was pregnant and never told them about it? So many questions to answer but never happened. She was now here with her husband and their children praying that their daughter was indeed theirs and not Hers and Michael’s. She felt his stare on her and she looked up to see him standing in the door way. “Did you have a nice time with the girls?”
She tried to smile and nodded her head. “Yeah it was nice. How were things here?”
“Pretty quiet until the phone rang.”
“What happened?” she asked with concern.
“It was him calling.” He told her. “I wish he would just call you directly on your cell. Doesn’t he have your number? Then he has the nerve to ask to see Miku again.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think he would call here.” She could hear the anger in his voice and she put up her defenses waiting for a bitter fight. “I’ll call him later and see what he wants.”
“Don’t bother, I’ve already told him to leave us alone and have his lawyer speak to ours. I don’t need him trying to weasel his way into my daughter’s life. It’s bad enough he is doing it to you.”
“He’s not in my life, Derek.” she said with a tired flat tone.
“He’s not? Shame I thought he was since you spend most of your time at the hospital now and most of the other time here hiding from your kids. Are we going to see you for dinner tonight or do I have to make another excuse to our kids?” How she wanted to slap him hard across the face. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t make a snide remark to her. She got off the bed and walked outside to their porch and stared out. “Nov, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,”
“No you weren’t. You never are nowadays. But what can I do. It’s my fault that this is happening and I guess I have to suck it up and deal with it. Now can you just go and leave me alone.”
He walked over to her and turned her to face him. “Nova can we just…?”
“Just go Derek, I’m tired. I need to get some rest in case they call me in. Tell the kids that I don’t feel well.” Feeling frustrated he turned and walked out.
25th of August, 2225
Her days weren’t long enough. Each night she looked for more work to do at the hospital as to avoid seeing him and his stressed look. Once and awhile she would see Michael at the hospital and they would be cordial to one another. She stepped into the hospital garden and dial her son’s cell. “Hello?” she heard him say making her smile. “Alex, its mom. How are you? How’s Annie? Is everything going alright?”
“Hey mom, everything here is just fine. Annie sends her love and Dee is waving hi. I should be home soon. Grandpa is letting me take the jet back so I don’t have to fly commercial.” He could hear the silence and asked, “Are you alright mom?”
“Yes everything is alright. I just missed you. I’m glad grandpa is letting you take the jet. Your brothers are doing good and Miku misses you too.”
“Mom, what’s wrong? Have you heard about the DNA test yet?”
“No nothing yet. But once we do hear from the lab we will call you.” She said trying to sound chipper.
He could hear her voice crack and she sounded depress. “Do you want me to come home? I can take the jet anytime. Annie and Dee will understand.”
“No sweetheart you stay and enjoy yourself. I just wanted to hear your voice.” She said trying to hold her tears back. How she missed her oldest, he was always the reasonable one when it came to them fighting. And with him gone she felt so all alone since it all started. Derek just pushed her away every time she wanted to talk. How she need someone to talk to besides her friends.
“Mom I know you, what’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.”
She tried to smile into the phone and said. “Everything is alright, we haven’t heard anything and we are just hanging in there. I just missed you that’s all. You stay and enjoy yourself. I will see you when you get back. Tell Annie and Dee hello and send them my love. I love you.”
“I love you too mom, I’ll be home soon.”
She hugged her cell close to her ear and let out a sigh. “Hello Nova,” she heard his voice from behind her. She turned to see him standing next to a tree. “It’s a nice day today.”
“Hello Michael, what’s going on?”
“Surgery, a 15 year old needing knee surgery, an athlete. Looks like he is going to make a full recovery and who knows he may get into the big leagues. I was just ready to go home and I saw you. I thought it would be alright to say hello. So, what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing, just finished talking with Alex.”
“Is he still in the states?”
“Yeah, he’s helping Annie settle in. Not to mention probably living it up. He should be home soon in time for,” she began to say and then broke down and cried. Michael took her in his arms and held her tight. “I’m sorry, I just miss him so much. He always makes me smile when things aren’t going well.”
“What’s wrong? Can I help?”
“No, no, just missing my son.”
He gave her a hard look and smiled. “Nova, I may not know you as much as Derek but I know when something is wrong. Now sit down and talk to me.” He moved her to a bench and she began to tell him about Derek.
“It’s like living alone in a big house. I mean Mark and DJ spend their time with friends when they get back from camp. And Miku’s time is all taken up with Derek. Alex is the only one that makes time for me and now he is in the States. He won’t talk with me and I rather be here keeping busy then to be in a cold house. I can’t even remember that last time we made,” she stopped herself knowing she said too much to him.
“Nova, it’s okay. You can tell me.”
“I can’t, there so much that has happened and now this with Miku. At first I wanted to kill you for doing this to us. We were finally getting our lives back in order. If he even finds out that I am talking to you he will flip.”
“Well I guess we don’t have to tell him. Now tell me how are things, Really?”
She hesitated for a moment and decided it was better than holding it in and making herself sick. “We were having problems when we got back from our last mission. I knew he was holding a lot back from what happened with the queen and then Miku started to have nightmares from what happened with her. I blamed him and start to see a shrink.”
“Nova, you know I hate when people call…”
“I know, I know anyway,” she smiled. “A lot of old feelings started to come back from when he first told me about her. There was so many things he held back about his time with her. It may not have been what I wanted to know but it was best to clear the air once and for all. That’s when he told me about his letters.”
“Letters, what letters? The one he sent you when he was delayed?”
“No that wasn’t the original letter. That was the back up one. He actually had three letters written, one for me, one for Alex and one for you.”
“ME! A letter for me?” he asked shocked. “Why would he write me a letter?”
“Well as I read it, it was in case his daughter with her made it. His intentions were never to come back at all. He wrote you a letter giving you permission to be with me.”
“Oh trust me, I was just as floored as you are. It confirmed everything that I said of him abandoning us.”
“But you work through it, right?”
“We were just getting over it when this all happened.” She lowered her head and then rolled her eyes, “Well, needless to say this set us back some.”
He pulled her closer to him and hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry that you have to go through all of this.” How could he blame her for all this when he is the one that left her first and had the affair with the queen. And now that she told him about the letter he only wished he did disappeared forever and she would be his. He thought, Damn you Wildstar! You should have never come back. Miku would have been mine for sure and not yours.
Wiping the tears from her face she stood up and straighten out her clothes. “I should go, can we keep this between us Michael? I don’t want Derek to know about this, it would just make it difficult for me.”
“Nova, has he ever hit you?” He feared that he would hurt her.
“Oh gosh no, he would never hurt me like that. I have never seen him raise his hand to our children let alone me. He would never do that. It’s just, if he finds out about us speaking he would be really hurt and I just don’t want him to get upset. So please let’s keep this between us.”
“Sure Nova, mum’s the word. Hey, if you need to talk I’m always here for you.” He pulled at her hand and looked into her eyes, “I’m here Nova, day or night.”
“Thank you, Michael.”
30th of August, 2225
It was the first time in weeks that she stayed home with them. Derek sat in his study taking a phone call from his aide. Since the accident at the dock he worked hard to find out what happened. If he wasn’t playing with his daughter he was preoccupied by work. Nova stood clear of him as he worked. She and Miku sat on the beach building a sandcastle and laughing at how bad it turned out. It was nice to actually spend time with her and laugh for once since everything started. She found herself looking at her daughter on and off trying to see if she looked like her father or Michael. She would catch her doing something only Michael would do but then she would do something Derek would do. Though Derek and Michael looked different there was too many similarity in their features. “Mommy can we get a dog some day?” she asked her mother.
“I don’t know sweetheart, a dog is a big responsibility. And daddy and I work, Alex is off to college, and DJ and Mark aren’t the best to depend on to help out with an animal. But we will see okay, sweetheart.”
“Come on let’s give another crack at making a sandcastle. I think if we use less water it will stick better.” Nova told her daughter. They worked together building another sandcastle and Miku ran down to the shore to get seashells to place around it. Nova watched from the distances as she laughed and ran away from the tide as it rolled up to the shore. She smiled remembering the first time she held her in the hospital. How tiny she was in her hands as she was hooked up to machines to help her breath and her eyes were covered. She fought for her life in the hospital and now it was Nova that was fighting for her. Nova laughed as she watched her run and scream from the water. She looked as a shadow came over her and she turned to see him standing there. “Hey.”
“Hey, she’s seems like she’s having fun.” Derek said as he watched his daughter running.
“Yeah she is. Everything alright with work?”
“Yeah we managed to straighten everything out.” He sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. It’s been so long since he touched her it felt good to be closer to him. She eased her head on his shoulder and smiled. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. Just having fun with our daughter.”
“Well let’s hope that she is ours,” he said without thinking, then realized what he said. “Damn, I’m sorry Nov. I didn’t mean,”
She took his arm off of her shoulder and got up, “No you never mean to say anything Derek… But you do. Listen; let’s just stay away from each other until this is all over. It’s best to just keep our focus on the kids and nothing more.” She said and walked away.
“Fuck! I can’t seem to say anything right with her. Every time I open my mouth I put my foot in it.” He smacked his head and lowered it down to his knees. Looking up he watched as Miku ran to him screaming his name. “Hey there Miku, I see you’re having fun with mommy.”
“How come mommy left?” She said looking as her mother walked toward the house.
“Oh Daddy keeps putting his foot in his mouth. Daddy can be a real jerk at times and that’s why mommy left.”
She looked at him confused and said. “How do you put your foot in your mouth Daddy?”
He laughed at her and said. “Oh it just means that Daddy shouldn’t say stupid mean things to Mommy.”
“You shouldn’t say mean things to Mommy, it makes me sad.” She said with a frown.
“I know sweet heart. But I promise I will say I’m sorry to her and make her smile. I don’t want to make her sad or you. Come on let’s get back to the house. I think Misha brought you some food from that fast food place you like so much.”
“Yup, there are French fries in the bag.” He took hold of her hand and they went back to the house.
Nova walked straight to her room and closed the door. The last thing she wanted was have another fight with him. She stood outside on their porch and saw as they walked back to the house. She could hear him opening the door and she took a huge breath waiting to what he was going to say. “Nov? Are you here?”
“What is it?” she snapped.
“Babe, I’m sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for. Can we talk?”
“No, I have to go in to work. Tell the kids I’m sorry for missing dinner with them again. I need to get dressed, so move.” She pushed him aside and made her way into the room.
“Wait Nova, please we should talk?”
“Don’t bother, I don’t want to hear it. I got the message a long time ago when this all came out. Now just shut up and leave me alone.” She took hold of her purse and left him standing in their room.
To be continued . . . .
Will Nova and Derek be able to make their marriage work? The tension grows. Time keeps ticking away as they wait for the test results to come in. Read on to see what happens next.