Neil Burns

PG (PG-13?)




The usual legal crap. Both shows are owned and copyrighted by their respective

creators and companies. The YAMATO and FIREFLY crews have an amusing

encounter. Enjoy and comments are welcome.


"Booorrrring!" Eager groaned, expressing the YAMATO's sentiment.


It was going onto the sixth week of uneventful patrolling. There had been the

occasional skirmish with the Bolar Empire, yet they had adhered to the terms

of the treaty for the most part. Nova leaned back in the captain's chair, knocking

her peacoat to the floor which Mimi immediately leaped onto and curled up

to sleep. The Captain's lean muscular legs were crossed on the console and

her boots were on their normal spot on the floor.


"I know how you guys feel," she replied, her soft alto reflecting her boredom. "I

am literally running out of ideas for us to occupy ourselves."


"Why not jump on Maetel and Emeraldas for a while," Sakamoto quipped.


"I'm sorry, Shigeru, but that is not possible."


"Besides," Wildstar put in, "Emeraldas would just as soon kill you as look

at you."


"She just hasn't had a real man yet." Sakomoto smiled proudly.


"Too bad you don't qualify."


"Fuck you, Wildstar!"


"Sorry. That's what Nova's for."


That got a few cheers and laughs as Nova shook her head, wondering more than

once if she was the ship's captain or babysitter, as she prayed for the second shift

to get a move on and arrive. Sure enough, the shift, led by Joseph Yamakazi and

Steven Sandor, entered as she gladly surrendered the chair to the cyborg Science



"Oh, Husband Mine," Nova singsonged as she picked up Mimi, wrapped in her

peacoat, "I believe our bed is calling us."


"I hear and obey, O Queen of the Heavens," the Combat Commander replied

while standing and bowing mockingly.


The cheers and X-rated comments increased in volume and tastelessness as

the spouses left and Sandor took his place in the Captain's chair and Sasha

sat in the Astrophysics chair off to Sandor's right, an amused smile on her

angelic face.


Zoe walked onto the bridge and smiled at the sight of her man Horace Washburn,

aka Wash, and the new co-pilot/Reader/Human Weapon River Tam playing with

the pilot's toy dinosaurs on the floor. Just a couple of kids. Of course, River IS

a kid. My Mister just acts like one.


"So who's winning?" the Second-in-Command asked.


"Hey, Lambie Toes," Wash grinned at his wife. "Who do you think?"


"Hi, Zoe," River smiled. "You want to join us?"


"Another time, perhaps," the ex-Browncoat replied as she knelt and kissed

Wash on the lips. "Hey, Mister Mine, I got needs that need taking care of."


A wicked grin spread across the pilot's face as he stood up and brushed

himself off.


"River," he addressed the younger woman, "Zoe and I need some 'quality time'

for ourselves. Any objection to flying by yourself for a while?"


"Not at all." she got up and took her seat at the controls. "Have a good fuck."


She turned and winked, eliciting laughter from Wash and Zoe as they left. A

while later, Mal walked onto the deck and saw not a medium-built blonde pilot

wearing the most godawful, ugliest shirts in existence, but instead a dark-haired

seemingly delicate thing dressed in a pretty red sundress, her delicate bare feet

resting on the seat.


"Hey, Little Albatross," he greeted. "Where's Wash?"


"Hey, Mal," River replied. "He and Zoe are having some 'quality time', so I'm

flying solo."


"Really. Well, seeing how there ain't nothing going on nor the Alliance in sight.

So, I ain't got no objections. You have fun and give me a holler if something

strange shows itself."


"You got it."


Derek was having the best dream. He and Nova were on a secluded island in

the South Pacific with nobody else around. They were running in the sand and

into the water. Collapsing in exhaustion, Derek found himself under his lovely

spouse. Nova smiled as she lowered her face to his and began licking it.

He woke to find that Mimi was sitting on his chest right next to his face and

licking it. Turning to his left, he found Nova was still asleep and a brunette

version of her, dressed in a blue-and-red version of her Living Group uniform,

smiling while giving him a playful wink.


"What is it, Amy?" Derek yawned. "I was in the middle of a sweet dream."


The ship's avatar chuckled as she walked over and sat on the edge, stroking

his hair. She was created after the Black Sun Empire and since has been an

intricial part of the Yamato as well as very popular with the crew.


"Sorry to interrupt, Romeo," she purred, "but Sasha and I detected something

arriving in Sector seven near the Komolas System."


"How long until we intercept?" yawned Nova, her eyes closed and her face

half-hidden by the pillow.


"About an hour or two tops."


"Good. Wake us up then. Goodnight."


Derek mockingly waved off Amy, who flipped him off before leaving.